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A Perfectly Normal Family Get Together! |
Several years ago...back in college day...I feel so old saying that now...the family was all gathering together for Christmas dinner in Kentucky. We had all traveled from different locations so we could spend good quality time together. Dinner was about to be ready and everyone had gathered in the living room to say a blessing.
"Who would like to say it," someone asked?
Another person suggested someone to say it and they declined graciously.
"How about you say it?" someone said.
During this conversation, I was watching everything unfold and unfortunately I was about to let my passion become unbridled. And usually when that happens a "nugget of crap" falls out of my mouth...
"Why can't a woman say it?" I said forcefully.
The room got totally silent and I swear I heard crickets. Clearly their intention was not to segregate the women but my passion for women's equal rights had taken over.
"Well sure, Kim. Why don't you say it? someone said. And my face had to be red as a beet because in that moment I had realized my failure. I had used something I was passionate about and unleashed it at the wrong time and in the wrong way. Of course I said the prayer but afterwards the Lord began working on my heart and humbling myself further.
You see, it's OKAY to have passion but what I'm learning then and now is that your passion can only be released at the right time and in the right way for it to do any good. Passion released in an angry way only leaves people wanting to be exactly unlike you. But passion released in a loving gentle way leaves people saying, "Hey, there's something to what she's saying. Maybe I'll reconsider her point of view."
Why am I telling you this? Well, it seems fitting that with Thanksgiving and Christmas being upon us that a lot of people are going to be around a lot of family members. Sometimes that can bring joy and sometimes that can bring stress. What I am working on with God at the moment and questioning HIM almost daily is, "How do I lead an authentic life without hurting someone else? How do I take that good passion I have and turn it into a "nugget of gold instead of a nuggest of crap?" I want to be the Real Deal, so to speak. But I also need to realize that I can't change the way another person thinks. I want my passion to be harnessed and unleashed at the exact right time. So that the moment of impact hits home for someone.
You probably still are like, "What?! She is not making any sense!" Trust me, I know that's what your thinking because I'm thinking that exact thing myself. But here's the bottom line. You are going to be around different people with different ideas your entire life and it just so happens that during the holidays we are smushed together with others in crowded living rooms talking about all the gossip we see on Facebook, talking about the latest Presidential Election (Thank God that's over-by the way), and talking about...ourselves. But what if we actually took the time to find out how someone else is doing? What if we actually tuned out all the noise and really listened to someone else. Maybe that's the way to get people to really consider your own passions and dreams. Maybe that's what God wants us to do.
We can't live authentic lives all the time. We are human! Imperfect creatures! But we can TRY. And we can combine UNCONDITIONAL LOVE with our authenticity. To be truly authentic anyway-- means to be real without passing judgements because we know we are Failures too.
Currently, at the Thanksgiving Table 2012 we all met in a new location and sat around a large table. About 4 to 5 of us started talking about Heaven. I once again was being honest and trying to make a joke about it when I said, "I don't know how we're all gonna make it in Heaven-- Because there are a bunch of people I don't like." MML sat at the far end of the table and said, "But we need to love the way God did with Moses when he was leading the Israelites. God was willing to forgive them all even though they had sinned against Him." She paused for a moment and said, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to reach that place...to give that kind of love."
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a terrible sin, but I will go back up to the Lord on the mountain. Perhaps I will be able to obtain forgiveness for your sin.” So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Oh, what a terrible sin these people have committed. They have made gods of gold for themselves. But now, if you will only forgive their sin—but if not, erase my name from the record you have written!” But the Lord replied to Moses, “No, I will erase the name of everyone who has sinned against me. Now go, lead the people to the place I told you about. Look! My angel will lead the way before you. And when I come to call the people to account, I will certainly hold them responsible for their sins.” Exodus 32:30-34
We all became silent-staring at our mashed potatoes- but this time it was for a good reason. MML in all her wisdom was right once again. And we were all deep in thought because her honesty and authenticity was exactly what we needed to hear.
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The Queen of Hearts (me) and MML at a Halloween Party a few years ago. |