To Love The Friend Who Ghosts You

Last year I remember sitting at a friend's dinner table crying in front of her, her husband and The

Hubs. The conversation had come up about an upcoming Mom's Night Out she had been invited to but I wasn't. It wasn't the first time a girlfriend had asked me that week if I was going. I lowered my head to avoid them seeing me cry and said, "No, I wasn't invited." I was ashamed because I had no idea why I had recently been ghosted from a few of the mom friends in my neighborhood. Not only that but my children had been excluded from playdates with their children and it was getting harder to tell my oldest she couldn't play with her friend, despite me reaching out numerous times to the mom.

The room became quiet and the ache in my heart was strong. I explained that I had tried to figure out what it was I had done wrong. I had called up my girlfriend and said, "Please tell me what it is, I'd like to fix it." But no response was given. I was ashamed and didn't know why. "If I could change it, I would," I told my friend sitting at the table.

This had been going on for months and countless days, I would sit in my living room reading my Bible trying to get an answer from God. That's when I wrote my blog on rejection and forgiveness. It was during those days, I pled with God to comfort my spirit. I found the power to let go of friendships no longer. It felt freeing to say, "God I give it to you. My hands have always been out in reconciliation. But I need to be done with this."

It wasn't long after that The Hubs came to me and said, "Kim, I have this crazy idea and I want you to come look at the computer. Look at this house."

"It's nice," I said apathetically.

"What would you say, if we went to look at it?"

"What?  It's beautiful but why would we look at it? I'm fine with just looking though."

The idea was totally crazy. Could we sell our house? Could we leave our neighborhood?

A few days later, we drove the 50 minutes to the new house. As soon as we pulled into the driveway and saw the tree lined road a thought crossed my mind!

"Dale, look! A tree lined driveway! Something we've always talked about."

The woods seemed to envelop us in all their mystery and splendor. Walking in the front door, I had the thought, "Had God been listening to us every time we talked about this unreachable dream?"

The house was beautiful but the woods and the butterflies....oh the 20 or 30 butterflies that surrounded the property seemed to welcome us home. "What do you think Kim? Should we take a step of faith and offer on this house-even if our home now isn't on the market?"

I'd like to say it was a tough decision. Financially, yes it was. But faithfully, I was ready to embark on this adventure. The house was supposed to take approximately six months to move into but the owners asked if we'd be willing to move within 45 days. With another step of faith, we said yes. And it was the best yes we had ever made in our lives. Our old house sold within a few months and we praised God because we finally made it home.

I hope that showing the vulnerability of my heart will show you a new way to view trials, loving others, and the unmeasurable love of our Father. If I hadn't gone through that season in my life, I probably would have said no to moving. This tiny piece of paradise is a reflection of God's promise to take care of His children. Thank you God for bringing us home.

To all my friends out there who have been rejected or gone through an emotionally tough season remember, you don't know what the Lord's assignment is for you. Follow Him faithfully. He can do things undreamable.

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.     Hebrews 12:2

To all my friends out there who wonder if its okay to let go of unholiness. It is. Even if its for a season. Plant yourself on your living room couch and dig into God's love letter to you.

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:

“I’ll live in them, move into them;
    I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
    leave it for good,” says God.
“Don’t link up with those who will pollute you.
    I want you all for myself.
I’ll be a Father to you;
    you’ll be sons and daughters to me.”
The Word of the Master, God.With promises like this to pull us on, dear friends, let’s make a clean break with everything that defiles or distracts us, both within and without. Let’s make our entire lives fit and holy temples for the worship of God.    

2 Corinthians 6:14-18, 2 Corinthians 7:1

To all my friends out there who have seemingly lost friendships to ghosting, remember one thing. Your battle is not with them. Your battle is with the enemy. Your enemy will find wherever your heart lies and turn it upside down. When people say things like, "You don't need them in your life. You don't need that toxicity," remember one thing, it is not the person that is toxic. It is Satan. Every single person on this planet is loved by God and able to be forgiven. That is why your job is to love them. I read the following verses this morning which sparked my desire to open up about this.

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.   John 10:10

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. ²⁴ Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:23-24

There's No Perfect Parent

You may look at this picture and say,"Aw wow, she has such cute kids. She looks like she has it all together." Well yes they are, but... I'd like to tell you more about this year's Picture Day. 

The day started in a mad rush to get the kids to school. I had volunteered to bring dinner to a family in need and they lived 40 minutes away. In my mad rush, I completely forgot that it was Picture Day! So Baby Boy's hair wasn't styled in his normal "Rocker Dude" fashion (as he likes to call it) and Tiny was wearing a hand-me-down three times over Tinker Bell shirt. I'm pretty sure the remnants of breakfast could still be detected on their cheeks. 

When we pulled into the drop off line, one of the ladies opened the car door and said,"Oh Tinker Bell. That will look really good for Picture Day." 

"Wait. What? Picture Day is today? I didn't dress them appropriately." 

(Picture Day is the ONE DAY mom's get to over dress their kids in exactly what they want.)

"Yes but it's just preschool so they'll be okay." 

I hesitated but agreed because I didn't have enough time to drop off the meal and go buy a new dress for her. 

As I started to drive out of the parking lot, I thought, "What am I doing? These are my kids and they have to come first." I decided to try and run to a store real quick for a new dress.

Luckily, TJ Maxx had the cutest dress you see Tiny wearing and surprisingly I found a really cute hair bow to match. I drove all the way back to the school and dressed her. The photographer did a fabulous job getting them to smile at the same time. 

After the pictures, I took off again to the family's house. They were so appreciative of the meal for their family of four. I smiled and looked completely happy. But really I was stressed to the MAX! 

I made it back to their preschool with one minute to spare. Wow! So much for a relaxing stress free day. However, when I got these pictures back today I saw that all my efforts weren't in vain. How cute are these two! And the story behind this picture will always be in my mind. 

The moral of the story is ...there's no perfect parent. Mistakes happen! However, your kids should always come first. Don't sweat the small stuff. In the end my kids were happy, the family was blessed and my heart was satisfied for serving the Lord. 

"If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”

Romans 12:7-8 NLT

How To Get All You Need

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.”

Luke 12:31 NLT

I remember moving as a young teen and starting middle school at my second Christian school. (Back story there...I went to public school in elementary and high). I remember how hard it was for me to move because of one particular girl who chose to target me. Everyday she'd get in my face and call me a hillbilly because of my accent. My mom was working as the school secretary and one day I came to her crying. She and I walked out of the school doors and down the hill behind some trees so no one could see me crying. She held my hands and prayed. At the end, I was comforted and she gave me some of the best parenting advice ever. "If she does it again, you have my permission to stand up for yourself- even if it gets physical."

I looked at her with such shock. Was she telling me to beat her up? No, but she was saying, "Do what you have to do." I just needed Godly courage to handle it when this girl approached again. Sure enough, the next morning she started in on me and I got out of my seat. I said her name, and with power only from God, I told her never to call me that again. She got in my face to challenge me and I shoved her with all my might! She was shocked and backed down! She NEVER bothered me again. 

During that year my mom talked of this verse a lot. She was seeking something just like I was. She was seeking God. And just like for me, He stood with her too. He gave her the words of advice for me and the moments of peace she needed to raise three kids. Even to this day she is a faithful follower of Jesus and I'm thankful for her gentle yet strong example of a Godly woman.

Now, you and I are in my mom's shoes. Raising children, dealing with our own struggles and seeking God. The verse says, "He will give you all you need." Not what we want but what we NEED. We need courage, we need peace, we need wisdom, we need joy, we need contentment...we need Jesus. So if we truly want to prosper we will be in tough situations but...WE HAVE JESUS! That's what gives us the kingdom. If we didn't have Jesus, we'd have no hope. The Kingdom of God is the forgiveness of past mistakes, the joy of the Holy Spirit living in us now and the hope that a beautiful home awaits.

When you feel down or in a struggle, know that you have God. Pray, seek Him and you WILL FIND what you are looking for. This post has been for me as much for you. I choose to seek Him every.single.day. 

Thanks Mom. I love you.