You Might Be a New Mom, If You...

Since Baby Girl has been six months old, I have enrolled her in some type of baby class. Mainly, it’s to give her new opportunities and to expose her to new things…but who am I kidding…mostly it’s to give mommy a break : )  So I signed her up for Romp N Roll; it’s a baby gym class! She fell in love with it immediately. As soon as they brought out the stuffed dog (whom she referred to as Daw) and the curtain was opened to the colorful baby gym she was in awe. It was so funny to watch…her mouth was wide open! After she got over the surprise, she was yelling, running around, throwing balls, going through tunnels…she was in baby heaven : ) I was so happy that she was having the time of her life.

That afternoon I decided to take her grocery shopping. I thought, “What the heck? She was in a good mood earlier. I’ll just run in, get the few things I need, and go home.” Well we stopped by the produce section and I put two apples in a bag, knotted it up, and let her play with it. I was couponing, choosing whether to buy Tropicana or Florida’s Natural (basically zoned into my shopping). We make it to the butter section and I notice that she has torn a hole in the bag and is eating one of the apples!

“Oh no Baby Girl! I have to pay for that by the pound!”  After looking back, I can’t believe #1) I told her that and #2) that I took it away from her. Well, she started throwing one big fit! Wahhhhhhhh!!!!! Tears were rolling down her red face. You would have thought I had murdered her. I run to the pharmacy counter and ask if I can pay for the apple. They had no scale! So here I go, flustered as ever, to pay for the groceries. She’s still balling her eyes out and she has managed to get so angry, that she hit her head on the grocery cart. When I make it to the check-out, I’m so ruffled I forget to use my coupons. Snot is rolling down her face. There should have been a huge sign over my head that said, “This is how NOT to parent.” Eventually, I pay and zoom out the door-totally worried that I upset someone with my child’s crying (Ridiculous? Yes, I know! Hindsight is 20/20).

"So happy for whole wheat bread..."

I’m putting the groceries in the car and in my mind I’m having a one sided conversation with myself. “Can I give her the apple? No, it’s not clean. People have touched it. There are pesticides on it“ (This momma doesn’t buy organic). “Well, maybe you can rub hand sanitizer on it?” My subconscious scowled at me and said, “I can’t believe you just thought you could give her an apple with hand sanitizer on it.” So I rummaged through the bag and all I could find was a piece of whole wheat bread. Yum Yum, right : ( Baby Girl gobbled it down like it was an oreo cookie. Just a side note: She ate an entire hot dog, peas, and juice right before we left for the store.

On the drive home, I thought about how being a stay-at-home mom was the toughest job I had ever done…and how I didn’t know if I’d ever get it right. I allowed myself to shed only one tear…okay maybe two. But the great thing about being a mom is the remarkable toughness you get after having a child. I told myself to suck it up and put my big girl panties on. There was enough whining in my house already! I realized how absolutely crazy my thoughts were! I am a good mom. I love my child unconditionally. I somehow can muster up extraordinary amounts of patience for this little person.  I’m not expected to get it right the first time and for pity’s sake, quit trying to be SUPER MOM. If I keep trying to be the perfect mom and raise the perfect child, I will fail miserably.

 

 

 

So in conclusion, here is my list of “You Might Be a New Mom, If You…” quotes:

• You might be a new mom, if you go to a grocery store (in the afternoon) and forget to bring snacks along for your child. 
• You might be a new mom, if you take something away from your child in a public place and expect them to be “okay” with it. 
•  You might be a new mom, if you look around nervously to see if any customers are frustrated with you because your baby is screaming at murderous volumes.

Here is a quote from Jill Churchill that really sums it up. “There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”