But I Have Raised You Up...

 

 

 

Day 1

I decided to enroll Baby Girl in preschool this year so that I could take one kid grocery shopping, instead of two. Also, I thought it would give her an awesome opportunity to be around kids her own age and to learn a Bible Verse a week. Preschool Day 1 was hard. The night before I laid awake with this terrible knot in my stomach. And I wasn't even the one going to school! But I was nervous for her; I was wondering if I had made the right decision in allowing her to go. After all, she is only two and the question came up in my mind constantly, "Am I choosing myself over my child?" Something I never wanted to do. But I made my mind up that if she hated it then I would know she was too young for school (secretly hoping that she would hate it).

 

That morning we got her stuff together and made it to the school 15 minutes early! We had enough time to take cute Day 1 pictures of her too. When we pulled into the driveway, my stomach knotted up even more. We got out of the car and I kept telling her how excited I was for her. But in my heart I was saying, "I can't believe I'm sending her away. It feels like I just gave birth to her." A little boy and his mother were walking in too. Baby Girl turned around and said, "Follow me, friend. This way." Such confidence! Such braveness and only two years old. I was stunned! My stomach knot started to go away. We walked into the school and I said, "Here's your teacher, Baby Girl." I looked in the teacher's eyes to try to find some comfort (for myself) and before I knew it they took her hand and she was gone. I watched them put her backpack on it's hook and saw the hesitation in her face.

 

I said, "Bye Isabella." And she was whisked away to her tiny chair.

 

The Hubs said, "Come on Kim, let's go." And I just stood there, my feet cemented into the floor.

"But I can't go," I said. She might need me."

 

And I VERY reluctantly left the classroom, feeling like a bad mother and terribly sad that she didn't even say goodbye. The knot in my stomach had now risen into my throat and I could feel the tears coming. I held them back but with each step that I walked away from her, the aloneness set in.

 

We got to the car and the tears came strong. The Hubs reassured me that we were making the right decision but my heart was sad.

 

Well, it turned out that she absolutely loved it and didn't want to leave her friends. In the car, she asked The Hubs if she could go back and see her friends and then she said, "Daddy, I met a boy and his name is Ethan."

 

Now the tables had turned and The Hubs was shocked and distraught. No tears of course, but he did not like hearing her say that- Hahah!

 

 

Day 2

So a few days passed and it was time for me to take her to school by myself. I flipped on the TV early that morning and Beth Moore happened to be on. Weird how that happened because usually religious TV isn't on as soon as I get up in the morning. She was saying that there was no trophy on this earth more powerful then hearing the words of your FATHER saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." Her words really impacted me...

 

I had heard that a Bible Study was beginning that day in the preschool and I wanted to go but since Baby Boy had been sick the night before, something told me not to go.

 

I was stubborn though and said, "Heck, I'm gonna go. Even if I am tired!"

 

It felt like everything went wrong that day. We were late, she wasn't being cooperative and Baby Boy had been sick. I packed her lunchbox by myself, got her backpack ready, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, gave her a cute outfit to wear and then had to change Baby Boy.Needless to say, I'm not as "timely" as my husband so we didn't make it on time. But I pulled into the parking lot seven minutes late.

 

Someone came out to tell me that the doors would lock 10 minutes after and...yeah... I wasn't a happy camper. But...I was polite and swallowed my pride and anger. Baby Girl went to her classroom with such excitement and happiness (but again no "Bye Bye").

 

Finally, I could go to the Bible Study. But I was late.

 

"Don't go," I told myself. "Don't embarrass yourself for being late."

 

But then something came over me again and I said, "I AM going even if I'm late."

 

Do you know what happened? The best thing that could possibly have happened! Because of my stubbornness and persistence, I was blessed. This is the Bible Verse that was given.

 

Exodus 9:16

But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.

 

God spoke to my heart and said, "Even though she might not need you as much as she did as a baby- this is your purpose. She still needs you to teach her about ME!  Don't feel guilty about sending her to preschool. She is learning about ME and my name. Well Done My Good and Faithful Servant--WELL DONE!"

 

I can't explain to you how much peace I felt that day. But I know that this guilty burden was lifted from my shoulders. I felt like this day was meant by God. All the lateness, all the frustrations and anger that came with it all washed away.

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

 

 

So my message to you, FRIEND is that you will always need your heavenly father. In good times and bad, he is the one that guides you in this life. He has raised each one of you up for a special purpose and what you think is your purpose, is not necessarily what the Lord has designed for you. Be brave like little Isabella and walk into all situations with confidence saying, "Follow me, friend. This way!."