I Am So Proud Of ME

I'm about to write something that is an accomplishment for me. I have lost all of my "Tiny Blessing" weight. That has never happened for me before. I've always stayed five pounds heavier with each child I've had. And on top of that good news, I've also lost two pounds of my Baby Boy weight!

As I write this out, my mind is telling me that I don't deserve this...or that it was all that breastfeeding I've been doing. But I have to remind myself that never before have I been able to get all that weight off me.

I also keep telling myself that I may gain it back. I know, I know...I'm terrible with the mind games. Why can't I just be happy with my success?

I think as women we put so much pressure on ourselves to look like we have it all together. We mad dash clean our house for people to come over. Only for them to open a closet and all the crap come tumbling out. We slap on makeup to hide our tired wrinkled eyes, in hopes someone will tell us we have beautiful skin. Only to wipe it off at the end of the day and stare sadly into the mirror, wishing we were still in our 20's. And the killer, as we change our clothes we catch a glimpse of our stretched out skin in the mirror and long for the days when we could wear tighter shirts and our flub didn't hang out. Yes, I said flub. We swear to ourselves that we should have realized how good we looked then instead of complaining for all those years that we were still too fat. Oh if only we could go back and do it all again. What we would have done differently!

Here's the kicker for me...I'm writing about this accomplishment because I've done it the healthy way and I'm not hungry-like with Weight Watchers. I'm reading through the Trim Healthy Mama book and feeling incredibly excited that I get to eat cheesy eggs for breakfast. What!!!!  I'm reeducating myself on sugar and the right type of grains. I'm going to the gym twice a week (that was my 2014 resolution) and for the most part, I've stuck with it. I've worked on my confidence. None of you know this but I made it a goal to be comfortable with myself enough to change in the locker room-and not behind a curtain! I still hate to do it, but I make myself so I'm reminded that I'm beautiful at any age and any shape.

 

I need to write this next part...for me and me only...

 

I may gain it back. I may never get down to the perfect size (whatever that is) and I'm gonna be okay with that. I am a woman, not a child. I have birthed three children. I work tirelessly to make sure they never hear me say the F-A-T word. In our home, I hope it never exists. There will be some weeks I don't make it to the gym at all. That's gonna be okay too. I will accept me for me, at all the different stages of my life. I will love me. I refuse to say negative things to myself anymore. I am so proud of ME.