To Love The Friend Who Ghosts You

Last year I remember sitting at a friend's dinner table crying in front of her, her husband and The

Hubs. The conversation had come up about an upcoming Mom's Night Out she had been invited to but I wasn't. It wasn't the first time a girlfriend had asked me that week if I was going. I lowered my head to avoid them seeing me cry and said, "No, I wasn't invited." I was ashamed because I had no idea why I had recently been ghosted from a few of the mom friends in my neighborhood. Not only that but my children had been excluded from playdates with their children and it was getting harder to tell my oldest she couldn't play with her friend, despite me reaching out numerous times to the mom.

The room became quiet and the ache in my heart was strong. I explained that I had tried to figure out what it was I had done wrong. I had called up my girlfriend and said, "Please tell me what it is, I'd like to fix it." But no response was given. I was ashamed and didn't know why. "If I could change it, I would," I told my friend sitting at the table.

This had been going on for months and countless days, I would sit in my living room reading my Bible trying to get an answer from God. That's when I wrote my blog on rejection and forgiveness. It was during those days, I pled with God to comfort my spirit. I found the power to let go of friendships no longer. It felt freeing to say, "God I give it to you. My hands have always been out in reconciliation. But I need to be done with this."

It wasn't long after that The Hubs came to me and said, "Kim, I have this crazy idea and I want you to come look at the computer. Look at this house."

"It's nice," I said apathetically.

"What would you say, if we went to look at it?"

"What?  It's beautiful but why would we look at it? I'm fine with just looking though."

The idea was totally crazy. Could we sell our house? Could we leave our neighborhood?

A few days later, we drove the 50 minutes to the new house. As soon as we pulled into the driveway and saw the tree lined road a thought crossed my mind!

"Dale, look! A tree lined driveway! Something we've always talked about."

The woods seemed to envelop us in all their mystery and splendor. Walking in the front door, I had the thought, "Had God been listening to us every time we talked about this unreachable dream?"

The house was beautiful but the woods and the butterflies....oh the 20 or 30 butterflies that surrounded the property seemed to welcome us home. "What do you think Kim? Should we take a step of faith and offer on this house-even if our home now isn't on the market?"

I'd like to say it was a tough decision. Financially, yes it was. But faithfully, I was ready to embark on this adventure. The house was supposed to take approximately six months to move into but the owners asked if we'd be willing to move within 45 days. With another step of faith, we said yes. And it was the best yes we had ever made in our lives. Our old house sold within a few months and we praised God because we finally made it home.

I hope that showing the vulnerability of my heart will show you a new way to view trials, loving others, and the unmeasurable love of our Father. If I hadn't gone through that season in my life, I probably would have said no to moving. This tiny piece of paradise is a reflection of God's promise to take care of His children. Thank you God for bringing us home.

To all my friends out there who have been rejected or gone through an emotionally tough season remember, you don't know what the Lord's assignment is for you. Follow Him faithfully. He can do things undreamable.

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.     Hebrews 12:2

To all my friends out there who wonder if its okay to let go of unholiness. It is. Even if its for a season. Plant yourself on your living room couch and dig into God's love letter to you.

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:

“I’ll live in them, move into them;
    I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
    leave it for good,” says God.
“Don’t link up with those who will pollute you.
    I want you all for myself.
I’ll be a Father to you;
    you’ll be sons and daughters to me.”
The Word of the Master, God.With promises like this to pull us on, dear friends, let’s make a clean break with everything that defiles or distracts us, both within and without. Let’s make our entire lives fit and holy temples for the worship of God.    

2 Corinthians 6:14-18, 2 Corinthians 7:1

To all my friends out there who have seemingly lost friendships to ghosting, remember one thing. Your battle is not with them. Your battle is with the enemy. Your enemy will find wherever your heart lies and turn it upside down. When people say things like, "You don't need them in your life. You don't need that toxicity," remember one thing, it is not the person that is toxic. It is Satan. Every single person on this planet is loved by God and able to be forgiven. That is why your job is to love them. I read the following verses this morning which sparked my desire to open up about this.

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.   John 10:10

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. ²⁴ Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:23-24