I Believe in Good People~My Story Part 2

Good people are hard to find! Can I get an "Amen" on that! But when you find one, their kindness and love never goes unnoticed.  There are a few people I'd like to give Kindness Credit too! They are people that have impacted my life in one way or another. I won't be going into "My Story" again. But if you're interested in reading about that, click here. Just to set the stage for this blog, after my initial tongue surgery and misdiagnosis of cancer in 2009, the lesion came back six months later...

"I'm backkkkk," it taunted me one day as I looked in the mirror. "Oh Lord," I thought. "Not again." My tongue had been hurting for awhile now and I had just gotten up the courage to look in the mirror. There it was-a white patch on the right side of my tongue.

So with dread, I went back to the doctor who had performed the initial surgery. He acted rushed and hurried.

"Well, unfortunately, all I can tell you is that we should cut it out again."

"But, we cut it out the first time and it came back. Don't you think this has something to do with my teeth...you know since we are unsure of a diagnosis, maybe it's my teeth"?

"No, that's too much work. We just need to make a bigger gap between your teeth and your tongue."

His voice began to fade and memories began to swirl through my mind. It was one week after my surgery. I had woken up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. Something felt funny in my mouth. So I went to the sink and spit.  Blood, lots of blood came out! And it wouldn't stop. I yelled for The Hubs to come help. He flipped the lamp on and discovered that my pillow was soaked in blood. Panic-pure panic flew through my veins! My stitches had broken sometime in the middle of the night. The sink was covered in RED. The Hubs hurried and got me a washcloth to put pressure on my tongue. It soaked through. He grabbed about ten washcloths and we drove 30 minutes to the E.R. during the worst snow storm of the season.

"Oh dear Jesus please help me," I prayed over and over in my head.

By the time we made it to the E.R., there was no parking. So The Hubs dropped me off and let me go in while he found parking. The girl at the counter kept asking me questions. She didn't understand that every time I removed the washcloth to answer her, blood would come pouring out. She had a Dixie dup on the counter.

"Can I have your Dixie cup?" I mumbled. She was puzzled but handed it to me. I know it's gross but I filled up the entire Dixie cup within a minute of talking to her. As soon as she saw how much blood I was losing, she hurried me to the E.R.

It was a long night. The doctors couldn't stop the bleeding. So they ended up cauterizing my tongue because the bleeding just wouldn't stop...

I came back to reality and realized the doctor was shaking my hand. He was telling me to call him when I had decided to have the surgery again.

Later that week, we went to another doctor at a prestigious hospital to get a second opinion. The same thing. He was overly busy and didn't have time for me. "Cut it out," they all said. But I just couldn't do it again.



Dr. Fran Steigerwald, Ph.D.

During this time, I was still going to my counseling classes at Radford University. In my mind, there was no reason to stop "normal" for something that just kept interfering with my life. So at the end of one of my classes, I felt the need to talk with my professor, Dr. Fran Steigerwald. She was such a strong lady...a real mother figure. I looked up to her for her strength and wisdom. I sat with her in the empty classroom and cried and cried. I explained my situation, my fear of having to go through the surgery again, my fear of not being able to counsel because I would lose my ability to talk, and my fear that this thing would always haunt me. She quietly listened and at the right time said something that really hit home for me.

"But Kim, you are more than your tongue. You're life is so much more important."

It was her words that day and her kind gentle spirit that made me realize being alive was more important than losing my ability to talk altogether. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you. Thank you Dr. Steigerwald.



Dr. Ricardo Padilla, DDS

So I called a good friend who happened to be a dentist from another state and explained my problem. He suggested I try the dentists at UNC School of Dentistry. Experiencing procrastination and dread, a few months later, I finally scheduled an appointment with Dr. Ricardo Padilla, DDS. I was pregnant with Baby Girl at the time. He came in, introduced himself, sat down and actually listened to me talk about the entire ordeal this lesion had caused. He didn't rush me. He understood that I didn't want to cut it out again. He made me feel like I was the only patient he had for the day.

Dr. George Blakey, III

Dr. Padilla  wanted to enlist the advice of a fellow dentist, Dr. George Blakey, III and wanted to locate him before the day was over. Dr. George Blakey, III was also a kind man. He patiently listened to me-- even though he was missing dinner with his family. He explained that he would have to take out a small portion of my tongue to diagnose. However, both dentists also believed my teeth were causing the problem. Once they could make a diagnosis, they would decide whether I needed laser surgery to remove the remaining lesion or try braces to straighten my teeth.

Such relieving news to hear that I may not need to cut out more of my tongue! I felt like I was finally getting answers!. I didn't feel like I was inconveniencing anyone. They truly cared and I would wholeheartedly recommend both to anyone needing Oral Consultation or Surgery.

At 20 weeks pregnant, I drove back to UNC School of Dentistry for my last surgery. Dr. Blakey buried the stitches this time, unlike the first doctor who left the stitches on the outside of my tongue. This made it so much easier to eat and I had very little pain as compared with my first surgery. The diagnosis came back Hyperkeratosis. What, you might ask is that? It's a fancy way of saying, "You have a callous on your tongue." Because I had quit wearing my retainer, my back teeth had begun to fall in causing my tongue to rub against it repeatedly. Yes! This was exactly what I thought it was! So I was to get braces and come back for a laser surgery if the lesion was still there once the braces came off.

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After giving birth to Baby Girl, I decided it was time to get braces. You may think, why doesn't this girl hurry? I'd want that lesion gone? Well, when you've been through it once before, been misdiagnosed with cancer, and rushed to E.R. for busted stitches, fear of the unknown takes over. This time around, I was giving all my fears to the Lord and trusting that He would take care of me.

Dr. Frank Iuorno, DDS

So I interviewed an orthodontist and ironically he also received his DDS from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and was certified in Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery and Orthodontics. I decided to choose Dr. Frank Iuorno, Jr., DDS, MS for my braces. Again, he listened to my story, he saw the lesion I talked about, and recommended braces immediately. Currently, the lesion has disappeared. And I will be writing a Celebration Blog if the lesion is still gone in January! Every time I go for a checkup, Dr. Iuorno greets me by first name and asks me how I'm doing. He cares about his patients. His business motto is, "Embrace Life." Such a powerful statement, don't you think!  I sincerely recommend him as your orthodontist.

The last two people on my list who need a Kindness Credit  are my husband, Dale and another counseling professor, Dr. Wendy Eckenrod-Green. After my initial diagnosis, it was both of these people that showed me a true Servant's Heart.

Dr. Wendy Eckenrod-Green, Ph.D.

Dr. Wendy Eckenrod-Green was the first professor to find out my initial diagnosis. The first thing she did was to make a cup of hot tea for me. She sat and listened to me talk about my fears of dieing, my fear of leaving my husband alone if I did, and my anger with God. Never once did she give me her opinion. True kindness means being able to listen to someone without interjecting your opinion, because you have the confidence that they will figure it out on there own.

Dr. Eckenrod-Green always said, "Someone who really listens is worth a million dollars." It was her silence that day and the freedom to talk that made her, "A Million Dollar Person," in my eyes. I hope you get the chance to meet such a wonderful lady one day.

The Hubs and I.

And last but certainly not least, my husband, Dale, also known as "The Hubs." Oftentimes when someone goes through a terrible unexplained event, we forget to think about the very person who is directly attached to them--their partner. They tend to fade into the background as family and friends drop off food or make symphathy phone calls to the ill person. Dale remained so strong for me the entire time. He maintained a sense of calm, even though inside he was experiencing something no partner wants to go through.

I remember one specific moment in particular. It was about a week after my initial surgery. All the family had been coming over early to cook meals or offer support, but it was growing dark and time for them to leave. So once the final person left, Dale came to our bedroom to see how I was doing. I was asleep but woke up when I felt him lay down and grab my hand.

"I love you Kim," he said.

"I love you too Dale."

And then he broke down, the pressure of having to be strong for so long finally crumbling him, "I don't want to lose you."

It was in that moment, that I realized what a strong man I had beside me. He had maintained such composure while going through a battle in his mind. I can't even imagine the conversation he must have been having with God. There is nothing in that moment I could have said that would have fixed it. And there is nothing I could have done to take away his pain. So instead, I just listened and we prayed. To this day, I consider Dale to be one of the strongest men I know. I couldn't have made it without him by my side. God knew what he was doing when he put us together in high school. A love like that doesn't come naturally. It's a true gift from God.

You see, I believe in good people the same way I believe in God. Kind people are those who take a moment to listen to you, who go through the pain with you, who greet you with a friendly smile, who offer you a cup of tea, or who gives you their hand during stormy times. Kind people are a direct reflection of God. I know sometimes, you may feel frustrated with how others treat you, but once you a take a moment to be kind to someone else, once you put others before yourself, that is when every other problem in the world seems to fade away.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7