Bye Bye Paci's. Hello Big Girl!

"Mommy. Mommy. Mommyyyyyyyyyyyy," says Baby Girl as she stares up at me. It is the sweetest sound.

"Yes, Baby Girl. What do you want?" I ask her patiently while washing a few dirty pans in the sink.

"Of u. Of u. Of u."

"What? Mommy can't understand."

"Love You!"

"Oh honey, I love you too." And she walks away deciding to play with her Bear instead.


My heart has just melted. My little girl loves me. And that is exactly what I want. It is exactly what I needed to hear. I know I can't expect my child to always love me and it does sound ridiculous that I needed to hear, "I love you." But it's true and there's no other way around it. She is my everything.

We are going through a transition stage right now...trying to get rid of the paci. This has been one of the biggest challenges I have faced yet. At first we tried cutting the tip off. She just stuck it on the end of her finger and laughed. Then when she realized it was broken she threw it in the floor several times. The next two nights were terrible. So we ended up giving it back to her.

Frustrated with this process, I posted on Facebook that I needed suggestions. And the best suggestion of all came from a relative of mine who lives in Kentucky. She told me to ask my my grandfather about "the signs." She said that my great grandmother believed in the Farmer's Almanac and planted by the signs. My great grandmother used to say, "To break a habit you wait til the signs are "in the knees" and when the signs return "to the head" the habit will be forgotten."

So I called up my grandfather and he explained to me that the signs are in the knees on February 6-7 and when the signs return to the head on the 14th the habit will be forgotten. Desperate for some help, I tried it and can I just say I am totally AMAZED! She has been PACI-FREE  (except for one night) since February 7th with no tears, no tantrums, etc. Click Here for the Farmer's Almanac

The hardest part for me is letting her grow up. Our conversations have been what breaks my heart.

At night, Baby Girl asks for a paci. And I say to her, "Paci's are for babies. You are a big girl now. Big Girl's get toys."

She says her real name and follows up with, "________ Baby."

"No honey. You're a big girl."

And THAT is the hardest part of all. It is literally breaking my heart. Because everytime I have to say she's a Big Girl, I feel like I'm losing more and more of my baby. So last night, we had a conversation in the rocker before bedtime.

"You will always be my baby. I will always love you. There is nothing in this world you could ever do that would stop me from loving my baby girl. But you are a Big Girl now. And you are doing soooooo good. Mommy loves you."

And that seemed to be all she needed to fall asleep in my arms.

Friends of my blog, this is HARD. I love her so much and don't want to let her go. I never knew it would be this difficult. But a mother's love for her child is unending. The attachment I have with her and the bond we share continues to grow stronger each day.

So to celebrate her "Big Girl" status I have removed her crib bumpers and we had her little girl bangs cut. It's so hard to believe in 3 months she will be two years old. On the 14th (Valentine's Day) of this month, I am having her a "Big Girl" party. Just a cake that says, "Mommy and Daddy LOVE their BIG GIRL." We may go to Build a Bear and let her put her paci's in a bear. And I will be sure to take lots of pictures.