A Momma's Heart

"Do you know how the baby is going to get out of momma's belly?"

I looked at The Hubs with shear panic and extremely raised eyebrows. What was he trying to do?!

"No, how?"

"Ask your momma," said Mr. Jokester with the biggest smirk ever.

She looked at me very curiously and I answered with the most brief and complete response suitable to a three year old..."Magic and Fairy Dust, Baby Girl. Magic and Fairy Dust."

That seemed to satisfy her curiosity for the time being. Later that night, I was putting her to bed when she asked me, "Momma, when the baby comes out what kind of shirt will she wear?"

I chuckled. "Honey, she won't be wearing clothes."

"She won't be wearing clothes! She'll be nakie?"

"Yes, there are no stores inside mommy's belly to buy clothes for the baby. She will be naked. Just like you were and just like  Baby Boy was."

She did that preschool giggle and placed her hand over her mouth as if to say that was the craziest thing she'd ever heard. I tried to change the subject fast and remind her we needed to pray. After prayers, she said,"Momma will you sing to me my night time song?" And my heart melted.

To the tune of an old bluegrass song I sang, "Go to sleep Little Izzy, Go to Sleep Little Izzy. Momma loves you so and daddy does too. We'll always love you baby." She put her hands under her head and closed her eyes. That was all she needed to know she was loved.

I went to check on my precious son who was fast asleep in his bed. I heard his heavy breathing and knew it was safe for me to kiss his cheek and rub his head. I thought about how earlier that evening, he came over to me and said, "Ninny!" Thats his best pronunciation for "Mommy." He had put his little hands on my legs and was trying to climb up into my lap. Oh I was so tired and didn't feel like lifting him up but his hopeful eyes and loving smile made me push through the tiredness and lift him up. I kissed his neck  and held him close. Oh his smell. His sweet little boy smell. And the thought crossed my mind, "When did he become my little boy and not my baby boy?" 

As I closed his door softly, I walked to my bedroom to change into pj's. My mind was centered around my kids. My

Momma's Heart was flustered. These sweet little kids are about to get another sibling. 

I prayed, "Lord, help them to know they are still loved despite the fact that they may not get a lot of attention when the baby is born. Help them to still feel like my babies...my sweet little loves. I don't want them to feel slighted in the least. And give me courage to go through another delivery again. I am excited to meet our little one but oh so tired. Lord I love you and know you will walk me through my final delivery. Amen."

                                      My sister and I, pregnant together both with baby girls.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT)

Pregnancy Update 34.5 Weeks...

 

Tiny Blessing...you are head down and ready to go. My hips and legs ache and I definitely waddle. I love feeling your kicks at night. You keep your knees and feet right at my belly button. Sometimes if I lay on my left side I feel a huge knot near my ribs and I know your tiny feet are poking me. The doctor says my blood pressure is going up and he has mentioned having to induce me a little early. This worries me for your safety. But everyone I talk to says that 38 weeks is fine. That means in less than a month you will be here! I am so excited to meet you. But a little nervous about those sleepless nights to come. We are working on your room and I think it fits you perfectly. Grey and purple butterflies...it's soothing to be in there. Sometimes I sit in your nursery chair with my hand on my belly and imagine what you will look like. I can not wait to meet you and smell your beautiful baby smell. I can not wait to look at those tiny fingers wrap around my pinky. I can not wait to hear you breath slow and then fast. I pray for a safe delivery and health for both of us. We have nothing to worry about because the Lord will be with us. You have so many people who love you already but I think the one person (besides momma and daddy) who is most excited for your arrival is your Big Sister. She talks about you all the time and she can't wait to hold you. Come safely and quickly little one. There is a lot of people ready to meet McKinlea Faith.