A Momma’s Muse: June 2013

On top of the mountain...where mom and dad's house is.

"Oh let me see what you have here," an elderly man said as he walked out of Red Lobster last week.

I turned the car seat around to show off Baby Boy.

"He's a tight one. Look at those fingers!"

"Excuse me," I said, thinking I hadn't heard him correctly.

"He's a tight one. That's a old wives tale. You see how he curls his fingers around his thumb. That means he's tight."

I still really couldn't figure out what he was talking about but I was suddenly caught up in the elderly man's eyes. They looked tired and glassy but the wrinkles beside them told a story of many good memories in times past. He talked as if this was the best day of his life; but his eyes showed that he didn't have many more days left.

"Hmmm...well that's very interesting," I said with a smile and a nod. "You have a nice day sir!" And the waitress led us to our table.

For some reason, I've been looking at the light in people's eyes lately. Probably because I know my own light isn't as bright as it could be. Some have it and some unfortunately have lost it. Some look full of life, some look vacant and some look like the light left them a long time ago. It has been said that the eyes are the window to the soul and I truly believe that. What do your eyes tell others? Are you living in the past-full of regret? Are you living in the future; thinking that tomorrow will be a better day? Or are you living in the here and now? Only focusing on what is really important at this very second?

For me, my eyes have been looking vacant and worn out. Most likely because I've been slowly adjusting to becoming a mother of two. I haven't been focusing on the here and now. I've been focusing on the future too much and not living in the present moment. I've been thinking too much on what I wish I had instead of praising God for what I do have.

"You know what I miss?" I asked my mom last week as we were driving in the car.

"I miss the sound of a ticking clock and nothing else...I want to be able to sit in a room and hear absolutely nothing."

Well, I got my wish. The Hubs had to go away again and I decided to travel to one of my old homeplaces so someone could help me with the kids. My parents live in the deep country. In a place where time stands still. From the city, I traveled over several mountains and past two small towns. If you keep driving for half an hour or so, you make it to what I like to call, "God's Country." It's beautiful...golden fields line the road, old farmhouses lean slightly to the left and look as if they've seen better days, and the tall Blue Ridge Mountains seem to envelope you in all their majesty.

Mom and Dad live on small hill overlooking those mountains. They have a play set ready for the kids and a fire pit ready to roast marshmallows. A screened in porch shades you from the sun and a calming breeze seems to always blow through it during the morning hours.

There is no cell phone reception and no internet- unless you hook it up. It is absolutely wonderful...a nice retreat when you need a break from the fast pace world. For six whole day, I enjoyed the beauty of it all. Every night we slept with our windows open, listening to the crickets and frogs sing the night away. Every morning I'd wake up to the sound of morning doves and cardinals chirping their "Good Morning's" to one another.

We'd walk down the asphalt road and never see one car pass by. I caught two tadpoles for Baby Girl to put in her Frog Cage. Baby Girl splashed in the puddles and came home full of dirt and "bug-gies" every night : )

My "Peaceful Place" as I like to call it is a ways away. But my mother, grandmother and I decided to walk there one day. We had to walk through a large field with overgrown grass. I had decided to take the stroller so Baby Girl could ride along and Baby Boy was on mom's back. The whole time I complained about being scared of snakes and ticks but when we finally made it to the clearing in the trees I saw my "Peaceful Place" and I was calm again. An old swing moved softly in the breeze and hung from a tree that had been there since before any of us were born. An old outhouse with weathered wood stood lonely by a tree. The creek was overflowingly full as it rushed on by. It really is the most magical place on earth.

That night as I lay in bed, I thought about my day and how wonderful it was to do nothing. Being able to just get out in the sunshine and have a little extra help seemed to revitalize my spirit. I told God that I was sorry for not being more thankful for His blessings. I confessed that I was tired and worn out. It's hard being a mother of two when The Hubs travels so much. But I thanked Him for giving me a husband who works 60+ hours a week for our family. Not many people these days value working hard.

Life isn't supposed to be easy? But God gives us tiny glimpses of what Heaven will be like with places like my "Peaceful Place." He silently tells us that we must be strong like the old tree because many storms will come our way. And He wants us to go with the flow when it seems like all we can do is keep our head above the rushing water for a little while. But most importantly, always be on the lookout for peace. Sometimes you have to go through some tall, grassy, snake filled and tick infested fields in order to get to the place of peace. And when you get there, take time to enjoy life. Swing on the old swing, place your feet in the icy water and listen to the sound of nothing.

Sittin' By The Camp Fire