Have you ever had a MOMMA DRAMA DAY? You know, the kind
where as soon as you wake up nothing seems to go right. Well, my day was TODAY.
I should have known that today was the day when Baby Girl woke up at 6:30 am wanting
to play “Doggie.” I missed my quiet time this morning : ( But I thought, “This is okay. I can handle
this.” WRONG!
By 8:00 am, she locked herself in the bathroom and I couldn’t
find one single key to unlock the door. So I called The Hubs and he tells me to go
outside and find the allen rench (spelling?) in the garage. So here I run, like
a bolt of lightning outside, in my UGLIEST purple and blue fleece polka dot pj’s
ever with crazy wild hair (because I slept on it wet last night) for all of
25+neighbors to see. I know every single
one of them thought I was insane because I was yelling at the top of my lungs, “What
the heck is an allen rench?!!!!!”
Finally, 20 some minutes later, I open the door and find my
baby girl lying on her belly sobbing and looking through the crack at the
bottom of the door. I scoop her up and see all the snot on my floor and think, “I
want to call my momma and cry too, Baby Girl.”
So by this time, I’ve had it and decide I have to get out of
this house- right now! So I fix my hair ; ) and take Baby Girl to the post office. Have
you ever taken a 20 month old to the post office? Here’s a secret for you….DON’T
DO IT! Here is a tidbit of our conversation… “Hi-eeeeeee!” says Baby Girl as she
runs up to every single person in this huge post office. “No, don’t touch
the floor! No, don’t pull the boxes off the shelf and step all over them.
No, those newspapers are not yours-you don’t need 20 of them laying on the
floor!” Finally I resorted to bribery and said, “If you’re good, I’ll give you
a sticker.”
We left the post office and I thought, “Im hungry, Im tired,
Baby Boy is smashing his head against my bladder and…IM NOT COOKING LUNCH. Baby Girl,
we’re going to eat at OLIVE GARDEN!”
“Eat!” she says excitedly and off we go.
The staff were so wonderful to us. They gave us a back booth
to eat at and chocolate milk, broccoli and grapes for Baby Girl. I sat and colored
with her, all while listening to her chatter, “Mmmm boccli.” Towards the end of
the meal, she looked at me and opened her arms wide and said, “Hug.” And it was
the best feeling ever. She made my crazy wacky day suddenly turn beautiful. And
I thought, “I don’t feel guilty about this at all. I never raised my voice at
her. I maintained patience all while wanting to cry inside and I’m enjoying
myself. I love my little girl and know she loves me back.
People may not give stay at home momma’s the credit they deserve
and sometimes say mean things like, “Wish I could stay at home all day too.” (Yes
this has happened to me.) But I just want all my stay at home momma friends to
know, “You are loved. You are doing a great job. We may not get paid a monetary
salary for all this hard work, but what amount of money could actually equate
to the hugs and love we get from our kids? Give yourself credit. We are all
doing a great job.”
Oh goodness! Where to begin, where to begin? There’s so much
I want to say (and need to say in the right way) without letting my passion
become unbridled. But I’ve got a lot on my mind and feel like I need to write
this as if I were talking to Jesus over a cup of hot tea. It’s the curse of
being an “introspective thinker.” I can’t go one day without thinking deeply.
But that’s just the way God made me. So before I begin…don’t look at this as a
way to step into my life…as if you were a fly on my wall. Look at this blog as
if YOU needed to apply it to yourself. Get some benefit out of it- besides
just something to occupy your time on the internet. (OUCH! that sounded like a nugget of crap,
didn’t it?) Oh well, take it for what it’s worth. As the current times say, “It
is what it is.”
It’s 8:00 PM. The Hubs and I are still up. I just put Baby
Girl to bed. I plop down on the sofa across from The Hubs and watch him working
on his computer. Now that Baby Girl’s asleep, it’s time to have a discussion.
“Hey, when you have a second I need to talk to you.”
Realizing how that sounded offensive, I clarified. “It’s nothing about you. I
just need someone to listen to me.”
He finished up his work in about two minutes; which turned
out to be a blessing because it allowed me time to get my thoughts together. “Okay,
what can I do for you?” he says as he shut his lap top screen. Realizing how “work
like” that sounded I decided to let it go, choosing to take the high road and
understanding that he was working and it was late. His mind was still in “work
mode.”
I sighed audibly and said, “I just need someone to talk to.
I got a lot on my mind and need to get my thoughts out.” The word splatter was
building up and right on the tip of my tongue at this point.
He was silent so I continued (points for The Hubs-he’s
learned some amazing counseling skills from me in the past few years).
“I’m exhausted. I have no energy. I know it’s because I’m
pregnant and my hormones are crazy. I feel guilty that in the evenings I don’t
feel like playing with Baby Girl…but I did read her three books today and we
painted.” The words splatter out of my mouth reminding me of splattered paint
on walls.
“No one listens to me. And the one thing that bothers me
most is when they cut me off and try to give me advice. I wish more women out
there were better listeners and quit trying to fix everything.”
The word splatter had reached 75 mph now. “And
the house. I’ve given up trusting God. I feel stuck in this house. I know I
should be grateful but I’m 26 weeks pregnant and don’t want to bend over to
unpack boxes! Maybe we shouldn’t be here. Maybe God didn’t really want us to
come here. Nothing has worked out since then. First we couldn’t sell the house,
then we chose to rent it (thinking that was a blessing from God), and now we can’t
even get a house. I think we should MOVE BACK.
“But most of all, I’m mad at myself for being this selfish.
I am blessed and I’m not thankful! What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I live a
good Christian life?”
Anddddd…. I stopped abruptly staring at The Hubs. He was
mirroring my image, staring at me too. Probably shocked. Probably wondering if now was a good
time to talk or if I had more word splatter to unleash.
The Hubs opened his mouth and said, “Okay let’s take this
one piece at a time.” And we talked about everything that was bothering me,
picking it apart. It turned out most of that stuff was not really the problem. That was just stuff on the surface. My bigger hang up was trusting God. It's funny how I was complaining about every other woman out there wanting to fix problems. When in reality, I didn't even think God could do it on HIS own and that He actually needed my help. I have to tell you, it felt so good to have someone finally listen to me without speaking.
Basically to sum it up, we decided that The Grass Isn’t Always Greener on The Other Side. It would be
pointless for us to move back because we took that huge leap of faith and it just so
happened, that this part of our journey was taking a lot longer than we
expected. We hadn’t made it to the Promised Land yet. But that was okay because
this was exactly where we needed to be. No one said this journey of life would
be easy or convenient.
A few days later and we were sitting in church. That morning,
I had contemplated whether or not to write a Facebook status update about being
at church trying to receive divine inspiration. But my morning ran away from
me and we ended up rushing out the door, in a hurry, as we always are on Sunday
Mornings.
We dropped Baby Girl off at the nursery and sat down in our usual seats, ¾ of the way back. The Hubs likes to joke that if we sit on the main back pews we look like the new people. The hymn/praise song Take My Life began playing.
Take My Life
You Are All
I Live For
I Am Yours Set Apart for You
I Am Yours Hungry for Your Truth
And I silently praised God, telling Him that I was sorry for losing
trust in Him. And I told Him I would praise Him through it all even while hungry for HIS TRUTH. And I thanked
Him for loving me despite being a Doubting Thomas.
The sermon was divinely inspirational. I didn’t realize that in Joshua the Jordan River parted so
hundreds, if not thousands of people, could cross as they followed the Ark of
the Covenant. God told his people that once they placed one foot in the Jordan
River, the waters would part. It was harvest time and the Jordan River was
overflowing. Can you imagine how much faith that might have taken? Or to be in
the middle of the river bed and see the water being held back for you? That certainly wasn't easy or convenient for them. I would
probably have been one of those people that said, “If I’m gonna have to cross
this thing, let me blow up my raft first.” But every person made it across!
Wow! Click Here to Easily Read Joshua 3:1-20 NLT
You see, God calls us to take huge leaps of faith in our
life. Never promising that it will be easy or convenient. And all He asks is
for us to take the first step…to get our feet wet…and He will do the rest. From
the first terrifying step, to the middle of the river bed (when it looks like
you’ll never get across), and finally to the last relieving step out, He will
take care of you.
So today, I ask of you to look at this blog, not as if you
are a fly on my wall, wanting to know what’s happening in our family. But to
look at this story as me being authentically honest with you, so that you can
evaluate your own life. Are you needing
to put your big toe in the water? Or are you the one who’s running from the
middle of the river bed saying, “Do I go backwards or run forwards?” Or are you the
one who is soooo close to the end, you can smell the dry earth? Pray to the Lord
and ask to be DIVINELY INSPIRED. You will
make it across.
One of the great things about being married to The Hubs, is that his philosophy on stuff is exactly my philosophy. We don't like clutter but still seem to accumulate it, even though we try not to. It's fine if you like stuff but I see it as a dust catcher and another thing I have to clean. So for the past few Christmas's, if people ask me what I want, I tell them I want date nights. Give me a gift card to a restaurant or the movies. I'd rather spend time with The Hubs than worrying about where I'm gonna store the latest gadget.
Unbeknownst to us, someone very special gave us a gift card to The Jefferson. It is a beautiful historical five star hotel. You can imagine that our mouths dropped open when we received the card. It also, just so happened, that both our birthdays are right around Christmas time. So we decided to take our birthday money and use it towards a night at the hotel. We didn't have to pay one red cent : ) It was the ABSOLUTE BEST DATE NIGHT ever! Our package included dinner, overnight accomodations and breakfast in bed! So I called up my mom and dad and asked them to come watch Baby Girl. Of course, they happily agreed and I am so thankful they did!
We have been so blessed by others recently. I am so thankful for each person that made our date night possible. You are amazing. Thanks for giving a tired momma and daddy one night of rest (yes, we did go to bed at 8:30 pm-that's what being a parent does to you) so we could get back to the way things used to be...
The first sight we saw was the Christmas Tree. We felt like we were stepping into history. Did you know that the hotel opened in 1895 and that twelve presidents have stayed at The Jefferson?
"No less than twelve Presidents. Harrison, McKinley, Wilson, Coolidge, Taft, both Roosevelts (Theodore and Franklin Delano), Truman and Reagan, both Bushes and Obama have stayed at the hotel. Also among the rich and/or famous guests were: Admiral Dewey, Sarah Bernhardt, Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Vanderbilts, Whitneys and Barrymores, Gertrude Stein, Sir Edmund Hillary, Charles Chaplin, Nelson Eddy, Robert Mitchum, Ray Charles, Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley who enjoyed a breakfast of bacon, eggs over easy, milk, no coffee, and home fries, capped off with a scoop of ice cream in cantaloupe." (Jefferson Hotel History)
24 weeks pregnant with Baby Boy!
Extra Cool Bathroom with a phone near the toilet. We didn't use it. A little gross if you ask me : )
Of course we had to be crazy and get pictures of the free stuff the room came with. You can tell we don't do this often!
View from the Room at Night!
All dressed up for our dinner. I forced my pregnant body into pre-preggo hose just for the occasion. Let's just say, the hose and I got in a fight and after 30 minutes of "wrastlin", I finally won ; )
Gingerbread Train!
The hotel used to have alligators in the marble pools. Baby Girl would have loved to see this!
When we got to the hotel, we found out that our package came with breakfast! We were so surprised. We had no idea! It was wonderful. The Hubs laughed at me because I took the minature jellies and ketchup home with us.
"And God...Baby Girl and I
wanted to thank you for the horseys we saw today-"
"Horseys!" Baby Girl sat up in the rocker interrupting our night
time prayers.
"Horseys! Where Aw You?" she said with both her hands out. It was
pitch black in her room but I could still make out her surprised eyes.
"Yes, Baby Girl. Remember when we rode the horseys today in the
carriage?"
She continued to have a conversation with me about the horseys. I could only
pick out bits and pieces of what she was trying to tell me. But I just kept
saying, "Uh huh. Mmhhh. Yes, I remember the horseys too."
Finally, I started rubbing her head again and told her a story just like my
dad did for us when we were little. It would be pitch black in our bedroom and
every night he would tell us a thirty minute story- usually about someone in
the 18th century. And we'd listen so intently...imagining every part in our
tiny minds.
"Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved horseys. One day
the horsey came to take her on a carriage ride..."
Baby Girl laid her head back against my chest while I continued to play with
her hair and tell her about riding the carriage with a cat, dog, bear and
giraffe. She grew incredibly silent, listening attentively and trying to pick up on
all the words she'd been learning. Eventually, I was able to end the story and
lay her in her crib.
"Night Night, Baby Girl."
She popped her paci out and looked at me with new excitement..."Horseys!?"
"Yes, Baby Girl. I remember the horseys. Love you."
And she drifted off to sleep; dreaming of the big brown horseys and the clip clop of their hooves.
Do you remember how excited we were as children? Do you remember how vivid our
imaginations were? Those were some beautiful memories. Looking at Baby Girl is
like looking into a mirror of my childhood. I am overtaken by her excitement
and can't help but get excited about life too!
Isn't that how we as adults should continue to live? With excitement about
life! And vivid imaginations full of possibilities only we can
satisfy. Telling you these stories literally makes my heart warm because I want
this for everyone. Even with myself, I find myself saying, "Tomorrow will
be better than today." But shouldn't I really being saying, "Today is
the very best day!"
Have you taken the time to get excited about LIFE lately? Or tell someone
how wonderful your day was? Imagine the possibilities of positive thinking if we
tried to be more like the children we were raising!
