If Broken Walls Could Talk

Often I find that when I need a little bit of time with God, I’ll drive down the backroads early in the morning.  The subtle roads seem to bring about unexplainable peace for me. And the sunlight hitting the never ending fields seem to be God himself saying,” Go ahead, think a little. I’ve got all the time in the world for you.” 

One  morning in particular, I had a little extra time, so I chose to go on such a drive. The roads easily curved back and forth and the horses were already out enjoying God’s morning. As I thoughtfully drove, I noticed a familiar broken down building that I always pass in a hurry. Signs were displayed for reading in case people wanted to stop. Usually, I’m too rushed to stop but today I had found myself with more than enough time. 

I asked my son, ”Hey let’s stop here and see what it is.” 

“Yah momma,” he said eager and curious to go on an adventure.

There were no actual places to park so I “made” a parking spot, pulling off the road and hearing sticks scratch the bottom of my minivan. Oops! One of these days a vehicle that sits taller would be nice. 

We quickly learned that this steam mill was part of HISTORY! On March 1, 1864 Colonel Ulric Dahlgren and 500 Union cavalrymen burned this mill and other buildings as they approached Richmond. Their mission was to set 13,000 Union Prisoners of War free on Belle Isle and Libby prison.  Other secret orders were to burn Richmond and assassinate the Confederate President Jefferson Davis. However, their mission didn’t go quite as planned as they were forced to retreat and Colonel Dalhgren was killed. 

AMAZING, To stumble upon such important yet forgotten history! Richmond has so much history that we never stop to notice! We get so busy with our own lives that often we easily forget how far our society has come. It was good to stop and appreciate what once was a beautiful building. I couldn't help but look at this decaying mill and admire that it’s still standing. If only broken walls could talk, right? What advice would they give us today? I imagine the advice would be something along the lines of,”Although humans tried to destroy, our foundation was firm and so the sun will go on rising and setting and we still stand tall.”

As my son ran back to the van, not really understanding the significance of the place we stood, I was reminded of an important life lesson. Anger, power, jealousy, greed, slander, filthy talk are all human sins that hurt. But if my foundation is firm, believing in the One who commands us to be kind and loving to our neighbors, then nothing can destroy me. The sun will go on rising and setting and I will still stand tall.

Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Mark 12:29-31

Your Love Never Fails!

The Hub's work through us a baby shower and it was beyond beautiful! I was so overwhelmed with how much work everyone put into the shower and they even thought about Baby Girl and got her presents too. We were so blessed!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby Girl tries her hardest to help us pack every night. She is Daddy's Tape Girl and stands their patiently waiting to give him tape for all the boxes : ) Here she is helping pack up the pantry by putting cans in her lunch box.

 

Found this Jiffy Peat Moss Box at Lowes and decided to plant Zinnia's with Baby Girl.

 

Sorry for our shirtless girl. She insisted on drinking our tea and spilled it all over her shirt.

Baby Girl wants to be a Big Girl so bad and decided it was time to try the Big Girl swing.

 

While packing up a closet, Baby Girl found mommy's old boxing gloves and threw a few punches at us!



 

What do daddy's do best? Build their little girl's forts when their sick and let them eat as many doritos as they please ; )

 

Is this not the most adorable picture ever? Reading in her chair and not even 2 years old yet!

So the signs work! The paci habit was broke within 2 weeks. Took away the paci on Feb 6 and by Feb 14 all the grandparents came to celebrate Baby Girl's new Big Girl Status!

 

We took her to Build a Bear and let her put her Paci in the Kitty Cat-whom we later named Miss P. (Miss Paci-get it?!)    ; )

 

 

 

There goes the paci. She wasn't thrilled about it but no major tears!

 

She kept saying, "Wash Wash Wash!" At first we didn't know what she was talking about but she wanted to bath her kitty. Apparently, she remembered going to Build a Bear with her Momaw before. 

We also got her Big Girl sheets from Pottery Barn but no Big Girl bed yet! I decided I'm not ready to have her get out of her crib whenever she wants. This night she asked me to get in the crib with her. Yes, I hopped in the crib...30 some weeks pregnant!

 

 

It's Official! We are closing on the short sale home this week! The owner's didn't mind us coming in and fixing a few things before the close date, so we did and had a Pizza Picnic on the floor today : )

 

"You Stay The Same Through The Ages, Your Love Never Changes, There May Be Pain in the Night But Joy Comes in the Morning! Your Love Never Fails!"

He Knew I Needed Him

 

I'm changed for the better
More smiles, less bitter
I'm even starting to forgive myself
I hit my knee, I’m here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Changed
Yes I am
I’m changed for the better.

How Beautiful. I was driving in my car one evening while The Hubs was watching Baby Girl and this song came on the radio. I had never heard it before but HOW.BEAUTIFUL.

It may be hard to believe but when I would hear some people tell their story of accepting Jesus into their lives, I would be embarrassed for myself…questioning if my story was even for real. After all, I was only 12 years old when I gave my life to our Father. So many times I’ve thought, “I was just a kid. How did I really know what it meant to be saved? My story was so... normal. There were no terrible life experiences or regretful pasts to talk about…I was just a kid!”

And then I’d have a battle in my head. “Well am I really saved? Is this for real? Or now that I’m an adult maybe I should go through the process again…”

But you know what? I gave my life to the Father at the Exact. Right. Time. He wanted me too at 12 years old. He knew when He created me, I was going to be the type of person who questioned everything and had a hard time giving up control. He knew that I’d need Him during my teen years more than ever. And for that I am grateful. He knew that during my college years, I’d need a Heavenly Father to lean on during lonely times while The Hubs (who was then just my boyfriend) was in a completely different state. He knew I’d need Him during 2009, when I’d regrettably find out and struggle with the misdiagnosis of cancer. Even more, He knew I’d need to trust Him when I could do nothing on my own to get pregnant. And of course, all of this has happened in 28 years. I still have much more life to NEED HIM. So even though my story of accepting Jesus as Leader of My Life was only through a child’s eyes, He knew I was READY.

I came up out of the water
Raised my hands up to the Father
Gave it all to Him that day
Felt a new wind kiss my face
Walked away, Eyes wide open
Could finally see where I was going
It didn't matter where I'd been
I'm not the same woman I was then.

I got off track, I made mistakes
Back slid my way into that place where souls get lost
Lines get crossed
and the pain won’t go away
I hit my knees, Now here I stand
There I was, now here I am
Changed

 

 

Maybe you’ve been questioning your “Saved Story” and wondering if it was all for real. Take comfort in the knowledge that Your Father knows your heart and knows where and how to lead you in your life.

Maybe you’ve been wondering what it means to actually have a Heavenly Father-the Leader of Your Life. I encourage you to seek out someone who has already made that commitment. I encourage you to fall on your knees and say, “Lord, I can’t do it without You. I need You in my life.  I ask for You to come into my heart and life today. Change me. Make me new. I will follow You-All The Days of My Life.”

 

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

~ Matthew 19:25-26

 

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

~Romans 10:9-10

 

 

 

To Move or Not To Move? That is the Question No One Seems to Answer.



Baby Girl with her brand new cousin. She loves to give her kisses and fist pumps. Haha!

It has been such a long time since I've had the desire to blog. Don't get me wrong, I would love to blog everyday but so much has been happening that when I finally get a break, all I want to do is take a nap...

 

Third trimester has hit hard and I am almost positive Baby Boy is going to be a BIG BABY! Let's hope he's average but every night The Hubs puts his hand on my stomach and says, "What is that!? Kim, are you sure he's not a big baby?" And I say, "I KNOW! He has got to be huge." I never felt Baby Girl's feet or shoulders while pregnant but it seems like this baby could possibly give one big stretch and pop out of my belly...and I'm only 33 weeks. That, my friends, is the scary part. LOL! There is officially no more room in the inn, so to speak. The doctor says she would like to do an ultrasound at 36 weeks pregnant. So we will know more info then.

 

Trying to kiss the baby at 28 weeks pregnant : )

But other pregnancy symptoms that I feel has started early are loss of appetite (no place in my stomach for large meals), waddling and constant heartburn. The heartburn I can handle but the waddling and backache are the toughest. Why?!!!! Because it appears we may FINALLY be getting the opportunity to move!

 

Don't you just love how the Lord's timing isn't our timing. I suppose that's because He is an everlasting God and time to Him means something completely different than time to us. So the bank that owns the short sale finally okayed our offer. We had originally hoped to close 6 weeks before Baby Boy arrived.

 

I would sarcastically say to people, "Yep, did you hear the bank finally agreed to let us move into the house...6 weeks before Baby Boy gets here?" And they'd just stare at me bug eyed. I could see the wheels turning in their head and I knew they were thinking, "Girl, you don't know what you're in for. Moving, an almost two year old and a newborn...you have got to be CRA-ZY!"

 

But then another stepping stone popped up in our path that made the original plan seem heavenly. We had proactively locked in a three month loan rate thinking we'd have everything ready to go when the bank finally agreed. But about two days after we found out we got the house, our loan guy said that our loan rate had expired. Can you believe it! Errrr we were so frustrated. So the loan is back in underwriting (again).

 

Our NEW PROJECTED CLOSE DATE IS...4 weeks before Baby Boy enters the world! I'm still in shock over this. I'll be 36 weeks pregnant when we move! Just reading that outloud makes me want to shake my head furiously in hopes that this is only my imagination. NO PEOPLE...this is the ultimate CRA-ZY! So could you all continue to pray for us that our loan people don't piddle around and actually okay the loan say...SOON!

 

Nevertheless, all this "stuff" has created even more patience in me that I didn't know I had. Our God  sees the bigger picture and because of that, He wants us to focus on how big HE is instead of how BIG the problem is. Isaiah 40:27-31 says,

"Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?

Just like this verse says, so many times I have asked of the Lord, "Don't you hear my problem. Don't you see that I'm trying to make the best choice. Why haven't You blessed me.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.

 

But our Lord is everlasting and He sees and knows all even before it happens. So why worry over this simple problem when He created this very Earth that we live on?

He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

 

So because of this I have learned that my God is in control. Any problem I face will be met with a renewed strength and it will be as if I'm running a race and I never grow tired. My Lord will give me all the power I need to move and unpack and DELIVER A BABY. All in His Good Timing.

 

 

 

 



Baby Boy's furniture is here but it's sitting in the dining room ready to move. We have no room set up for him yet...another pregnant momma's worst nightmares. 33 weeks pregnant here : )

Sunday Drives

MML was singing in the car. The three kids were singing in the car. It was weekend drives with my mamow that made growing up very special to my sister, brother and me. We’d drive all over town, pick up an ice cream at Dairy Cheer,  stop the car at a gas station with real service.  The man who pumped our gas would give us a whole pack of Juicy Fruit chewing gum! And we’d drive all the way to my great grandmother’s house, where we’d lay on our bellies on the textured orange carpet 10 inches from the tv, eating popcorn and Diet 7 UP. Awww…those were the good ole days.

The sweetest moments in life aren’t when you open an expensive Christmas gift, get a promotion or buy a new car. The really sweet moments are spending times with the people that matter most—your family. Like Sunday drives …I treasure those times.  

Most Sundays, The Hubs, Baby Girl and I drive down a country back road just to look around because we aren’t quite ready to head back to the city. The Hubs and I talk about the preacher’s message and Baby Girl sleeps soundly in the back, overtaken by the quiet rumble of the car in motion. We always end up at the house we hope to get. The doors are locked but we still walk around and talk about what we want to do to the house…if we get it. Then we hop back in the car and listen to the song, “Only a Mountain” by Jason Castro.

This is only a mountain

You don’t have to find your way around it

Tell it to move, it’ll move

Tell it to fall, it’ll fall

This is only a moment

You don’t have to let your fear control it

Tell it to move, it’ll move

Tell it to fall, it’ll fall

 

I silently brood to God about how we look like idiots. It’s been over a year and a half since we moved and we haven’t yet claimed a piece of land as our own. But then I think of the verse, “Be still and know that I’m God” (Psalm 46:10) and “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28) -- and I have hope again.

The Brutally Honest Truth About My Struggles With Infertility

I sat on the edge of the bath tub one morning, anxiously waiting for the three minutes to pass quickly. “Come on” I said in my head, not wanting The Hubs to come find me. I was hoping that I could take a pregnancy test and surprise him with the good news. In the days before, I had envisioned Baby Girl surprising The Hubs at work wearing a cute “Big Sis” shirt.  But my vision was soon crumbling before me because this was the fourth pregnancy test I had taken-and all were negative.

“Surely, these tests are accurate. They’re supposed to tell five days sooner,” I had been thinking over and over all week.

Each negative test crushed my heart a little more. I knew my body was different than most women. It was perfectly normal for me to have a 50 day cycle. But I suppose the desire to be like everybody else surpassed everything else.

At parks, I would look at the pregnant mommas and think, “How come I can’t be like all the other mommas out there. I want to be able to have a baby naturally. Why do I have to use fertility medication to get pregnant?” I felt less of a woman because of my inability to provide my husband children naturally. At the grocery store, absent minded mothers would leave their babies in the grocery cart while they pranced down another aisle and I would think, “Why God, do you allow some people to have children that don’t need to have children? I could watch over that child much better than her. I could love that child much better. Look at her God! Somebody could steal her baby right now and she wouldn’t have a clue.” And even while singing praise songs at church, a tidal wave of sadness would wash over me when singing about letting God have His way. I would have to stop singing and just listen to the hundreds of voices around me as I fought back tears. “God, I wanted Baby Girl so badly. Thank you for giving me the chance to be a mother. I would go through it all again God…if that’s YOUR WILL. But God it’s going to take so long that way. First the Metformin, and then once my body is used to that, then the Clomid.” Oh the dreaded CIomid. The hot flashes, the unexpected breakdown of emotions… It certainly wasn’t an easy drug to take. I purposely shut off my prayer to avoid any tears during the church service. God heard my heart though. Everywhere I’d go He heard my unspoken prayer…sometimes too difficult to speak aloud.

The three minutes were almost up now. But before I looked at the test I had an epiphany. In order for me to live a happy life and enjoy the beautiful blessing of Baby Girl, I had to be willing to let it all go.  I had to be willing to release all control over to my Lord. So I bowed my head and clasped my hands together and began praying out loud in the bathroom.

“Lord, You know how much I want this and You know how it’s the one thing in this world I can’t buy, I can’t go out and find, and I can’t have it unless You give it to me. Lord, I thank you for Baby Girl. I realize I am blessed more than some who can’t even have one child. Thank you for her. And Lord you know that I struggle with this inability to have a baby on my own. It kills me. But Lord if this is what You want then help me to accept it. Help me God to let it go. Give me peace only You can provide. I ask these things in Your name. Amen.”

I lifted my head and took a deep breath before grabbing the test. I looked down at the test and exhaled loudly. “Not Pregnant,” said the test in big black letters. My eyes were cast downward. I frowned deeply. My spirit crushed but I remembered my prayer. I asked God to help me accept this and I would. I stood up, lifted my head and walked out of the bathroom ready to face my wonderful husband and daughter waiting for me.

A few days later The Hubs said, “Kim, have you got your period yet?” I was hoping he wouldn’t be asking me this. Because I knew that having a baby was on his mind and I wanted to please him so bad.

“No,” I said quietly as I cooked dinner. “I didn’t want to tell you this but I’ve bought five tests and four of them have been negative. It didn’t happen this time. I’m sorry, I wanted to give you another child so bad.”

“Kim, don’t think like that. You know I’m happy with Baby Girl and I love you. We can go to the doctor this month and set you up with the medication. But if you haven’t got your period then you need to take that final test,” The Hubs said gently.

“There’s no reason too. This is what my body does. It going through another 50 day cycle. And I don’t think I can look at another negative pregnancy test.”

“Well, if you’ve missed your period then you need to take a test.” Gosh he was being so persistent.

Giving up, I said, “Okay, but I’m not looking at it. You’ll have to do that. I can’t handle any more negative tests.

After dinner, I went back into the bathroom and took another test. I left the stick on the counter and left the room. The Hubs was doing something in the office but came out when the three minutes were over. I was beginning to get hopeful again but I tried to hold down my hope so that I could handle the bad news. We walked to the bathroom together and I saw the test first. There it was in big black letters, “Pregnant.” I gasped outloud, not believing what I was seeing. “It’s positive! It’s positive!” I gave him the biggest neck hug possible. “We’re pregnant,” I said my voice shaking. He had the cutest grin on his face. “We did it on our own!”

Four negative tests, one desperate prayer for peace, and one positive test! I was in total shock and disbelief. The story of Hannah has always been on my mind and I find it fitting for this blog.

1 Samuel 1: 8-20

“Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me—isn’t that better than having ten sons?”

Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray. Eli the priest was sitting at his customary place beside the entrance of the Tabernacle.  Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.

And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.

As she was praying to the Lord, Eli watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking.

“Must you come here drunk?” he demanded. “Throw away your wine!”

“Oh no, sir!” she replied. “I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.”

“In that case,” Eli said, “Go in peace! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.”

“Oh, thank you, sir!” she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad. The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea, and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I asked the Lord for him.”

Even in Biblical times, women struggled to get pregnant. They experienced the same sorrow and bitterness that we do now. They wanted to please their husbands with children. They prayed silent wordless prayers that came from the deepest part of their heart.

For women, the desire to have a child is strong and powerful. I am no less of a woman because I had to use medication for Baby Girl. But Satan knew my weak spot. He knew where to attack me and what would hurt the worst. My prayer for peace was a “Giving Up” prayer. The Lord wants us to give our whole heart to Him. I am of the belief that here on Earth, we are put through struggling times to work out of us that which is not good. Because of these struggles, when we make it to Heaven we will be wiser, stronger, and perfect in HIS sight.

What is it that you struggle with? What is it that Satan knows is your weak spot? Remember that Satan will continue to attack you as long as you let him. Do you need to find a quiet moment and bow your head? Give it all up to God. Do as Hannah did and pour your heart out to the Lord. God hears you. Even when your too disheartened to put words to your prayer…

Baby Girl will have a brother or sister in April 2013 and we are so thrilled. Our baby’s heartbeat is strong and my own heart is at peace.

Wishing you peace in your hearts. Feel free to comment below if you would like me to pray for you as well.

Love,

Kim

Add to Job Title: Landlords!

Good things are happening in our life! God has answered our prayers at the best time possible. I am pleased to announce that we are now LANDLORDS! This was so not how I planned my life nor how I wanted it to go. But the Lord knows best, right. Due to this terrible ecomony, most of you know that we haven't been able to sell our house. It has been one huge struggle with deciding to pack our bags one year ago and leave for a better job in the "Big City." We trusted God in this decision and at times questioned Him. Why hasn't the house sold? Why are we here?

Something I've always thought about was whether it's okay to question Him. And after years of wondering, I think I've come up with the answer...It's okay to question God but it's not okay to doubt God. God wants you to question Him because it shows that you believe He has the answers. But doubting God shows that your faith is lacking. By doubting God, you don't believe He has the answers and ultimately don't believe He exists.

I have to admit, this move has made me doubt God at times. I'm more of a concrete thinker and need to "see to believe" (kinda like Thomas). I wish I could be that person who has that ultimate faith...someone who doesn't need to see to believe John 20:29. I suppose that's partially why God has allowed us to go through this struggle. The whole time we were thinking, "Did we make the right decision? Was this really what God wanted?"

But the Lord waited til the appropriate time to show us that He has been with us the whole time. About two months ago we made the decision to rent. We showed the house to several people but for one reason or another, we just couldn't rent to them. I was frustrated that no one seemed to be the right fit. Some people were downright rude and offered us ridiculous offers because they said we were "in a pinch." Are you kidding me? This is where my faith began to blossom. My Lord doesn't put people in a pinch. He's a good God and only wants the best for us. So The Hubs and I mentally just gave up, offering to God our hearts and being okay if His decision was for the house to sit a little longer.

The day after the "in a pinch" couple left we had a new couple come to view the house. They took no time looking through and came into the kitchen and said, "We want it. What do we do?" They seemed like good people but through all this time, I've learned not to get my hopes up. Looks can be deceiving.  They filled out an application and went on their way. The day after, we ran their application and....perfect!!!!!! This couple was even better than I anticipated! The Hubs said, "I feel at peace over this." I agreed and now we have a signed lease! Praise God! He came through. But He always does, doesn't he? It's just never in my time and it's always when I give up and offer my whole heart to Him.

To conclude, when I googled "Bible Verses on God's Blessings" this came up instead. I know it's a little country but the lyrics are just perfect. I remember singing this song in church growing up...such good memories. It reminded me of a much a simpler time when childlike faith is so strong. You believed in God as if you believed in magic. You believed your God could do anything...

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.

Downtown Ghetto Downtown, Police Cars, and Mustard Seeds

When I studied Psychology in college, one important thing we always talked about was Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Basically, a man named Maslow created what he thought was a list of five basic needs all humans have. The second most important need was safety. All humans desire to feel safe and secure on some level. But what he didn’t discuss was how much the need for safety increases when you have a child. When you become a parent, for most, your main desire is for your child to be safe and secure. Basically, you would give your life so that your child could be happy, healthy and out of harm’s way.

Recently, Baby Girl and I went on a business trip to a major city with The Hubs. He was going to be in meetings all day long. So it was up to me to find things for her and I to do together. We opted to try a zoo close to the hotel.

So I plugged the address into our GPS (The Hubs has nicknamed the GPS, GPSY) and we took off. GPSY can be so helpful  but she can also be the SPAWN OF SATAN when she wants to : ) So I’m assuming GPSY wanted to see me shake in my boots that day. For some reason, she took us downtown to get there. And not just downtown where there are lots of pretty shops, like ‘downtown ghetto downtown’. Here we were driving past boarded up buildings with bars on the windows and groups of people huddled in corners dressed in wife beaters. Okay say I’m judging…that’s okay. Say I’m overreacting…that’s even  okay too. But bottom line is, “I didn’t feel safe with a child in the car.” Luckily, we made it there in one piece.



Baby Girl enjoyed the zoo so much. Her favorite part was seeing the giant polar bear. She kept pointing at the bear and saying, “Ber, Ber.”

It was so hot that day that Baby Girl and I  had to get Strawberry Shortcake Ice Creams to

cool off after the zoo. She went to town on hers. Of course, most of it had melted all over her and the stroller but she seemed to enjoy the cool treat.

On our way home, GPSY decided she wanted to see me grit my teeth and white knuckle the steering wheel some more…so here I am driving to a T-interection and GPSY’s  telling me to go straight.

“What! There’s no straight, GPSY! That’s a dead end!”  So I made a quick right turn (complete opposite direction of the hotel) and GPSY had a conniption fit.

“Recalculating! Recalculating! Recalculating!” Even GPSY was having an anxiety attack : /

“What do I do?!” I say out loud. “Hurry up GPSY. Figure out where we’re going and get us out of the hood!”

Well GPSY gets to 70% recalculated and I decide I’ve had enough of looking to see if my doors are locked a hundred times and mentally kicking myself for getting Baby Girl and I in this situation. Now what happens next I usually DON’T do. But the country girl in me was desperate for some help from the Lord Almighty.

“God, please send me a white car to follow home,” I said out loud.

Who knows where the idea of a white car came from but it must have been from God. Because what do you know, a white van pulls out in front of me!

Subconsciously, I’m thinking of what my momma  always told me growing up. “Don’t go near white vans, Kim. They have people in them just waiting to snatch you up.”

But I decided that I had prayed and was going on faith with my white car prayer. So the van made an immediate right turn and what do you know again! A white police car makes a left turn at a four way intersection and gets in front of me!

“Oh thank you Jesus!" I was never more happy to see a police car. Immediately, I took a deep breath in and exhaled loudly. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath for so long. My jaw was so sore from gritting my teeth, but I didn’t care. I was praising God for intervening in mine and Baby Girl’s life. I ended up following the police car all the way to the interstate and GPSY decided she had calmed down enough to get us back home safely…

What does that tell you about the Lord Almighty? That he intervenes at the most crucial moment? That he wants to test you? No. It tells you that, “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:20  Lately my faith in God has been zilch—nada. I’ve been trying to get a job and it’s NOT been working. We’ve been trying to sell our house and it’s NOT been working.  The Hubs asked me the other day, while driving back home to see our family, if I had faith in God?

I replied defensively. “Of course I have faith in God. What kind of question is that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said. “I just keep hearing you talk about this job and our house and it sounds like you don’t have faith in God, Kim. What does that Bible Verse say about moving mountains?"

I’m silent. Thinking about what he’s saying and looking at the mountain ahead as we drive.

He continued, “That if you have faith in God, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move’ and it will move."

The silence continued for a while and then I said, “Yah, I guess that means that it only takes a little bit of faith for God to do BIG miracles in your life.” We drove in silence, thinking and me praying the rest of the way home.