To Move or Not To Move? That is the Question No One Seems to Answer.



Baby Girl with her brand new cousin. She loves to give her kisses and fist pumps. Haha!

It has been such a long time since I've had the desire to blog. Don't get me wrong, I would love to blog everyday but so much has been happening that when I finally get a break, all I want to do is take a nap...

 

Third trimester has hit hard and I am almost positive Baby Boy is going to be a BIG BABY! Let's hope he's average but every night The Hubs puts his hand on my stomach and says, "What is that!? Kim, are you sure he's not a big baby?" And I say, "I KNOW! He has got to be huge." I never felt Baby Girl's feet or shoulders while pregnant but it seems like this baby could possibly give one big stretch and pop out of my belly...and I'm only 33 weeks. That, my friends, is the scary part. LOL! There is officially no more room in the inn, so to speak. The doctor says she would like to do an ultrasound at 36 weeks pregnant. So we will know more info then.

 

Trying to kiss the baby at 28 weeks pregnant : )

But other pregnancy symptoms that I feel has started early are loss of appetite (no place in my stomach for large meals), waddling and constant heartburn. The heartburn I can handle but the waddling and backache are the toughest. Why?!!!! Because it appears we may FINALLY be getting the opportunity to move!

 

Don't you just love how the Lord's timing isn't our timing. I suppose that's because He is an everlasting God and time to Him means something completely different than time to us. So the bank that owns the short sale finally okayed our offer. We had originally hoped to close 6 weeks before Baby Boy arrived.

 

I would sarcastically say to people, "Yep, did you hear the bank finally agreed to let us move into the house...6 weeks before Baby Boy gets here?" And they'd just stare at me bug eyed. I could see the wheels turning in their head and I knew they were thinking, "Girl, you don't know what you're in for. Moving, an almost two year old and a newborn...you have got to be CRA-ZY!"

 

But then another stepping stone popped up in our path that made the original plan seem heavenly. We had proactively locked in a three month loan rate thinking we'd have everything ready to go when the bank finally agreed. But about two days after we found out we got the house, our loan guy said that our loan rate had expired. Can you believe it! Errrr we were so frustrated. So the loan is back in underwriting (again).

 

Our NEW PROJECTED CLOSE DATE IS...4 weeks before Baby Boy enters the world! I'm still in shock over this. I'll be 36 weeks pregnant when we move! Just reading that outloud makes me want to shake my head furiously in hopes that this is only my imagination. NO PEOPLE...this is the ultimate CRA-ZY! So could you all continue to pray for us that our loan people don't piddle around and actually okay the loan say...SOON!

 

Nevertheless, all this "stuff" has created even more patience in me that I didn't know I had. Our God  sees the bigger picture and because of that, He wants us to focus on how big HE is instead of how BIG the problem is. Isaiah 40:27-31 says,

"Why do you complain, Jacob?
Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God”?

Just like this verse says, so many times I have asked of the Lord, "Don't you hear my problem. Don't you see that I'm trying to make the best choice. Why haven't You blessed me.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.

 

But our Lord is everlasting and He sees and knows all even before it happens. So why worry over this simple problem when He created this very Earth that we live on?

He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

 

So because of this I have learned that my God is in control. Any problem I face will be met with a renewed strength and it will be as if I'm running a race and I never grow tired. My Lord will give me all the power I need to move and unpack and DELIVER A BABY. All in His Good Timing.

 

 

 

 



Baby Boy's furniture is here but it's sitting in the dining room ready to move. We have no room set up for him yet...another pregnant momma's worst nightmares. 33 weeks pregnant here : )

If You Were a Fly On My Wall...

Oh goodness! Where to begin, where to begin? There’s so much I want to say (and need to say in the right way) without letting my passion become unbridled. But I’ve got a lot on my mind and feel like I need to write this as if I were talking to Jesus over a cup of hot tea. It’s the curse of being an “introspective thinker.” I can’t go one day without thinking deeply. But that’s just the way God made me. So before I begin…don’t look at this as a way to step into my life…as if you were a fly on my wall. Look at this blog as if YOU needed to apply it to yourself. Get some benefit out of it- besides just something to occupy your time on the internet.  (OUCH! that sounded like a nugget of crap, didn’t it?) Oh well, take it for what it’s worth. As the current times say, “It is what it is.”

 

It’s 8:00 PM. The Hubs and I are still up. I just put Baby Girl to bed. I plop down on the sofa across from The Hubs and watch him working on his computer. Now that Baby Girl’s asleep, it’s time to have a discussion.

“Hey, when you have a second I need to talk to you.” Realizing how that sounded offensive, I clarified. “It’s nothing about you. I just need someone to listen to me.”

He finished up his work in about two minutes; which turned out to be a blessing because it allowed me time to get my thoughts together. “Okay, what can I do for you?” he says as he shut his lap top screen. Realizing how “work like” that sounded I decided to let it go, choosing to take the high road and understanding that he was working and it was late. His mind was still in “work mode.”

I sighed audibly and said, “I just need someone to talk to. I got a lot on my mind and need to get my thoughts out.” The word splatter was building up and right on the tip of my tongue at this point.

He was silent so I continued (points for The Hubs-he’s learned some amazing counseling skills from me in the past few years).

“I’m exhausted. I have no energy. I know it’s because I’m pregnant and my hormones are crazy. I feel guilty that in the evenings I don’t feel like playing with Baby Girl…but I did read her three books today and we painted.” The words splatter out of my mouth reminding me of splattered paint on walls.

“No one listens to me. And the one thing that bothers me most is when they cut me off and try to give me advice. I wish more women out there were better listeners and quit trying to fix everything.”

The word splatter had reached 75 mph now. “And the house. I’ve given up trusting God. I feel stuck in this house. I know I should be grateful but I’m 26 weeks pregnant and don’t want to bend over to unpack boxes! Maybe we shouldn’t be here. Maybe God didn’t really want us to come here. Nothing has worked out since then. First we couldn’t sell the house, then we chose to rent it (thinking that was a blessing from God), and now we can’t even get a house. I think we should MOVE BACK.

“But most of all, I’m mad at myself for being this selfish. I am blessed and I’m not thankful! What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I live a good Christian life?”

Anddddd…. I stopped abruptly staring at The Hubs. He was mirroring my image, staring at me too. Probably shocked. Probably wondering if now was a good time to talk or if I had more word splatter to unleash.

The Hubs opened his mouth and said, “Okay let’s take this one piece at a time.” And we talked about everything that was bothering me, picking it apart. It turned out most of that stuff was not really the problem. That was just stuff on the surface. My bigger hang up was trusting God. It's funny how I was complaining about every other woman out there wanting to fix problems. When in reality, I didn't even think God could do it on HIS own and that He actually needed my help.  I have to tell you, it felt so good to have someone finally listen to me without speaking.

Basically to sum it up, we decided that The Grass Isn’t Always Greener on The Other Side. It would be pointless for us to move back because we took that huge leap of faith and it just so happened, that this part of our journey was taking a lot longer than we expected. We hadn’t made it to the Promised Land yet. But that was okay because this was exactly where we needed to be. No one said this journey of life would be easy or convenient.

A few days later and we were sitting in church. That morning, I had contemplated whether or not to write a Facebook status update about being at church trying to receive divine inspiration. But my morning ran away from me and we ended up rushing out the door, in a hurry, as we always are on Sunday Mornings.

We dropped Baby Girl off at the nursery and sat down in our usual seats, ¾ of the way back. The Hubs likes to joke that if we sit on the main back pews we look like the new people. The hymn/praise song Take My Life began playing.

 

Take My Life

You Are All

I Live For

I Am Yours Set Apart for You

I Am Yours Hungry for Your Truth

 

And I silently praised God, telling Him that I was sorry for losing trust in Him. And I told Him I would praise Him through it all even while hungry for HIS TRUTH. And I thanked Him for loving me despite being a Doubting Thomas.

The sermon was divinely inspirational. I didn’t realize that in Joshua the Jordan River parted so hundreds, if not thousands of people, could cross as they followed the Ark of the Covenant. God told his people that once they placed one foot in the Jordan River, the waters would part. It was harvest time and the Jordan River was overflowing. Can you imagine how much faith that might have taken? Or to be in the middle of the river bed and see the water being held back for you? That certainly wasn't easy or convenient for them. I would probably have been one of those people that said, “If I’m gonna have to cross this thing, let me blow up my raft first.” But every person made it across! Wow! Click Here to Easily Read Joshua 3:1-20 NLT

You see, God calls us to take huge leaps of faith in our life. Never promising that it will be easy or convenient. And all He asks is for us to take the first step…to get our feet wet…and He will do the rest. From the first terrifying step, to the middle of the river bed (when it looks like you’ll never get across), and finally to the last relieving step out, He will take care of you.

So today, I ask of you to look at this blog, not as if you are a fly on my wall, wanting to know what’s happening in our family. But to look at this story as me being authentically honest with you, so that you can evaluate your own life.  Are you needing to put your big toe in the water? Or are you the one who’s running from the middle of the river bed saying, “Do I go backwards or run forwards?” Or are you the one who is soooo close to the end, you can smell the dry earth? Pray to the Lord and ask to be DIVINELY INSPIRED. You will make it across.

 

With Honesty and Unbridled Passion Set Free,

Kim

 

Sunday Drives

MML was singing in the car. The three kids were singing in the car. It was weekend drives with my mamow that made growing up very special to my sister, brother and me. We’d drive all over town, pick up an ice cream at Dairy Cheer,  stop the car at a gas station with real service.  The man who pumped our gas would give us a whole pack of Juicy Fruit chewing gum! And we’d drive all the way to my great grandmother’s house, where we’d lay on our bellies on the textured orange carpet 10 inches from the tv, eating popcorn and Diet 7 UP. Awww…those were the good ole days.

The sweetest moments in life aren’t when you open an expensive Christmas gift, get a promotion or buy a new car. The really sweet moments are spending times with the people that matter most—your family. Like Sunday drives …I treasure those times.  

Most Sundays, The Hubs, Baby Girl and I drive down a country back road just to look around because we aren’t quite ready to head back to the city. The Hubs and I talk about the preacher’s message and Baby Girl sleeps soundly in the back, overtaken by the quiet rumble of the car in motion. We always end up at the house we hope to get. The doors are locked but we still walk around and talk about what we want to do to the house…if we get it. Then we hop back in the car and listen to the song, “Only a Mountain” by Jason Castro.

This is only a mountain

You don’t have to find your way around it

Tell it to move, it’ll move

Tell it to fall, it’ll fall

This is only a moment

You don’t have to let your fear control it

Tell it to move, it’ll move

Tell it to fall, it’ll fall

 

I silently brood to God about how we look like idiots. It’s been over a year and a half since we moved and we haven’t yet claimed a piece of land as our own. But then I think of the verse, “Be still and know that I’m God” (Psalm 46:10) and “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28) -- and I have hope again.

Boy or Girl, Blogiversary and How Do I Comment/Follow You?

Boy or Girl?

 



Well yesterday was wonderful and crazy! We took Baby Girl with us to the ultrasound appointment and she almost broke the whole bed apart! Note to self: I know it's sweet to bring the little one to the ultrasound appointment but never do it again! LOL!

It has become tradition/superstition that I drink orange pop before going to my appointment because for some crazy reason, I think the Baby will move more with a suggary drink in their system. It worked with Baby Girl but Baby #2 didn't want to move very much. So I had to get on all fours to try and get the baby to flip. Everyone laughed at me but I'd heard that works sometimes! And it did work...Baby #2 flipped over and...It's a BOY! The Hubs and I are getting a son : ) We are so excited because now I get to buy everything boy...truck shirts, blue shirts, and even camoflage (for the grandfathers/great grandfathers of the family). He is already loved so much!

Six Month  Blogiversary



Six months ago, I took a huge leap of faith and decided to create an inspirational blog and since then I have consistently had about 50 followers read my posts. The Lord is Good! Not because of that but because He has consistently shown me that this was HIS PLAN! He wanted me to step over the imaginary line, we women refuse to cross. He wanted me to be brave and honest...to admit my fears and dive deeper into a more spiritual relationship with Him. And because of that the blog has been read well over 3,400 times and reached 25 countries! I am so amazed at HIS MIRACLES. When I began this blog, I thought no one would read it. But month after month, I have received "thank you" emails for the infertility blog or "yes that's me" emails for the anxiety blog. Every time I get ready to close it down for fear I have exposed to much of myself, the Lord sends someone to email me and it proves that He wants me to do this.

So thank you for reading because it shows you also want to better yourself for the Lord. You want those tough questions answered. You want to search out the FATHER for a deeper relationship with HIM.

FOLLOWING THE BLOG

 

I have had several people say to me, "I can't comment" or "I don't know how to follow your blog." So here's how, in case you would like to receive emails about upcoming blog posts.

 

The Easiest Way:

 

1. At the bottom of the page, click Follow By Email and insert your email address. You will receive direct emails from me when I post.

 

 The Follower Way:

 

1. The middle right hand side of the page under "Followers" click on Google Friend Connect.
2. Find which account you already have (Google, Twitter, Yahoo etc). If you don't see your account, you can create one on Google by clicking "Create a New Google Account" at the bottom of the same screen.
3. Type in your password and follow the commands on the screen.

 

        By doing this, you will receive emails to your account telling you when new posts are created.
 

 

"If You Want to Comment":

 

1. At the bottom of the post, click where the word "Comment" is shown. From there, type your message and click Comment As:  
2. You should see a list of ways you can identify yourself. If you don't have a google account, click Anonymous.
3. Type your message and include your name if you wish, so I can respond back to you.

 

 





The Brutally Honest Truth About My Struggles With Infertility

I sat on the edge of the bath tub one morning, anxiously waiting for the three minutes to pass quickly. “Come on” I said in my head, not wanting The Hubs to come find me. I was hoping that I could take a pregnancy test and surprise him with the good news. In the days before, I had envisioned Baby Girl surprising The Hubs at work wearing a cute “Big Sis” shirt.  But my vision was soon crumbling before me because this was the fourth pregnancy test I had taken-and all were negative.

“Surely, these tests are accurate. They’re supposed to tell five days sooner,” I had been thinking over and over all week.

Each negative test crushed my heart a little more. I knew my body was different than most women. It was perfectly normal for me to have a 50 day cycle. But I suppose the desire to be like everybody else surpassed everything else.

At parks, I would look at the pregnant mommas and think, “How come I can’t be like all the other mommas out there. I want to be able to have a baby naturally. Why do I have to use fertility medication to get pregnant?” I felt less of a woman because of my inability to provide my husband children naturally. At the grocery store, absent minded mothers would leave their babies in the grocery cart while they pranced down another aisle and I would think, “Why God, do you allow some people to have children that don’t need to have children? I could watch over that child much better than her. I could love that child much better. Look at her God! Somebody could steal her baby right now and she wouldn’t have a clue.” And even while singing praise songs at church, a tidal wave of sadness would wash over me when singing about letting God have His way. I would have to stop singing and just listen to the hundreds of voices around me as I fought back tears. “God, I wanted Baby Girl so badly. Thank you for giving me the chance to be a mother. I would go through it all again God…if that’s YOUR WILL. But God it’s going to take so long that way. First the Metformin, and then once my body is used to that, then the Clomid.” Oh the dreaded CIomid. The hot flashes, the unexpected breakdown of emotions… It certainly wasn’t an easy drug to take. I purposely shut off my prayer to avoid any tears during the church service. God heard my heart though. Everywhere I’d go He heard my unspoken prayer…sometimes too difficult to speak aloud.

The three minutes were almost up now. But before I looked at the test I had an epiphany. In order for me to live a happy life and enjoy the beautiful blessing of Baby Girl, I had to be willing to let it all go.  I had to be willing to release all control over to my Lord. So I bowed my head and clasped my hands together and began praying out loud in the bathroom.

“Lord, You know how much I want this and You know how it’s the one thing in this world I can’t buy, I can’t go out and find, and I can’t have it unless You give it to me. Lord, I thank you for Baby Girl. I realize I am blessed more than some who can’t even have one child. Thank you for her. And Lord you know that I struggle with this inability to have a baby on my own. It kills me. But Lord if this is what You want then help me to accept it. Help me God to let it go. Give me peace only You can provide. I ask these things in Your name. Amen.”

I lifted my head and took a deep breath before grabbing the test. I looked down at the test and exhaled loudly. “Not Pregnant,” said the test in big black letters. My eyes were cast downward. I frowned deeply. My spirit crushed but I remembered my prayer. I asked God to help me accept this and I would. I stood up, lifted my head and walked out of the bathroom ready to face my wonderful husband and daughter waiting for me.

A few days later The Hubs said, “Kim, have you got your period yet?” I was hoping he wouldn’t be asking me this. Because I knew that having a baby was on his mind and I wanted to please him so bad.

“No,” I said quietly as I cooked dinner. “I didn’t want to tell you this but I’ve bought five tests and four of them have been negative. It didn’t happen this time. I’m sorry, I wanted to give you another child so bad.”

“Kim, don’t think like that. You know I’m happy with Baby Girl and I love you. We can go to the doctor this month and set you up with the medication. But if you haven’t got your period then you need to take that final test,” The Hubs said gently.

“There’s no reason too. This is what my body does. It going through another 50 day cycle. And I don’t think I can look at another negative pregnancy test.”

“Well, if you’ve missed your period then you need to take a test.” Gosh he was being so persistent.

Giving up, I said, “Okay, but I’m not looking at it. You’ll have to do that. I can’t handle any more negative tests.

After dinner, I went back into the bathroom and took another test. I left the stick on the counter and left the room. The Hubs was doing something in the office but came out when the three minutes were over. I was beginning to get hopeful again but I tried to hold down my hope so that I could handle the bad news. We walked to the bathroom together and I saw the test first. There it was in big black letters, “Pregnant.” I gasped outloud, not believing what I was seeing. “It’s positive! It’s positive!” I gave him the biggest neck hug possible. “We’re pregnant,” I said my voice shaking. He had the cutest grin on his face. “We did it on our own!”

Four negative tests, one desperate prayer for peace, and one positive test! I was in total shock and disbelief. The story of Hannah has always been on my mind and I find it fitting for this blog.

1 Samuel 1: 8-20

“Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me—isn’t that better than having ten sons?”

Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray. Eli the priest was sitting at his customary place beside the entrance of the Tabernacle.  Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.

And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.

As she was praying to the Lord, Eli watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking.

“Must you come here drunk?” he demanded. “Throw away your wine!”

“Oh no, sir!” she replied. “I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.”

“In that case,” Eli said, “Go in peace! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.”

“Oh, thank you, sir!” she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad. The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea, and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I asked the Lord for him.”

Even in Biblical times, women struggled to get pregnant. They experienced the same sorrow and bitterness that we do now. They wanted to please their husbands with children. They prayed silent wordless prayers that came from the deepest part of their heart.

For women, the desire to have a child is strong and powerful. I am no less of a woman because I had to use medication for Baby Girl. But Satan knew my weak spot. He knew where to attack me and what would hurt the worst. My prayer for peace was a “Giving Up” prayer. The Lord wants us to give our whole heart to Him. I am of the belief that here on Earth, we are put through struggling times to work out of us that which is not good. Because of these struggles, when we make it to Heaven we will be wiser, stronger, and perfect in HIS sight.

What is it that you struggle with? What is it that Satan knows is your weak spot? Remember that Satan will continue to attack you as long as you let him. Do you need to find a quiet moment and bow your head? Give it all up to God. Do as Hannah did and pour your heart out to the Lord. God hears you. Even when your too disheartened to put words to your prayer…

Baby Girl will have a brother or sister in April 2013 and we are so thrilled. Our baby’s heartbeat is strong and my own heart is at peace.

Wishing you peace in your hearts. Feel free to comment below if you would like me to pray for you as well.

Love,

Kim

Add to Job Title: Landlords!

Good things are happening in our life! God has answered our prayers at the best time possible. I am pleased to announce that we are now LANDLORDS! This was so not how I planned my life nor how I wanted it to go. But the Lord knows best, right. Due to this terrible ecomony, most of you know that we haven't been able to sell our house. It has been one huge struggle with deciding to pack our bags one year ago and leave for a better job in the "Big City." We trusted God in this decision and at times questioned Him. Why hasn't the house sold? Why are we here?

Something I've always thought about was whether it's okay to question Him. And after years of wondering, I think I've come up with the answer...It's okay to question God but it's not okay to doubt God. God wants you to question Him because it shows that you believe He has the answers. But doubting God shows that your faith is lacking. By doubting God, you don't believe He has the answers and ultimately don't believe He exists.

I have to admit, this move has made me doubt God at times. I'm more of a concrete thinker and need to "see to believe" (kinda like Thomas). I wish I could be that person who has that ultimate faith...someone who doesn't need to see to believe John 20:29. I suppose that's partially why God has allowed us to go through this struggle. The whole time we were thinking, "Did we make the right decision? Was this really what God wanted?"

But the Lord waited til the appropriate time to show us that He has been with us the whole time. About two months ago we made the decision to rent. We showed the house to several people but for one reason or another, we just couldn't rent to them. I was frustrated that no one seemed to be the right fit. Some people were downright rude and offered us ridiculous offers because they said we were "in a pinch." Are you kidding me? This is where my faith began to blossom. My Lord doesn't put people in a pinch. He's a good God and only wants the best for us. So The Hubs and I mentally just gave up, offering to God our hearts and being okay if His decision was for the house to sit a little longer.

The day after the "in a pinch" couple left we had a new couple come to view the house. They took no time looking through and came into the kitchen and said, "We want it. What do we do?" They seemed like good people but through all this time, I've learned not to get my hopes up. Looks can be deceiving.  They filled out an application and went on their way. The day after, we ran their application and....perfect!!!!!! This couple was even better than I anticipated! The Hubs said, "I feel at peace over this." I agreed and now we have a signed lease! Praise God! He came through. But He always does, doesn't he? It's just never in my time and it's always when I give up and offer my whole heart to Him.

To conclude, when I googled "Bible Verses on God's Blessings" this came up instead. I know it's a little country but the lyrics are just perfect. I remember singing this song in church growing up...such good memories. It reminded me of a much a simpler time when childlike faith is so strong. You believed in God as if you believed in magic. You believed your God could do anything...

Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.

If You Could Rewind Time, Would You?

Nothing thrills my heart more than standing in a worship service and hearing 400+ people singing the song, He Has Made Me Glad by Hillsong. It brings chill bumps to me every time.  Something about the words just ring true for my heart. It makes me want to lift my hands to God as if I did so, I would be able to touch Heaven.

My Baby Girl is now able to lift her hands up to us when she wants to be picked up. It’s amazing how much she loves us already--and she’s just 13 months old! It comforts my heart to know that she trusts us, desires our hugs, wants us to comfort her when she falls, and sometimes just wants us to love on her.

Isn’t that how God is to us? We want to trust him, we want Him to comfort us during hard times, and sometimes we just want to know that He loves us, no matter how many times we mess up. But for some reason, as we become adults it’s hard for us to trust Him…we begin to doubt that He can fix our problems, that He cares, or that He even exists… Instead we put more faith in ourselves than we do in Him. We take control of the situation and later find out that we are EXACTLY where we started.

The Lord has been working on my husband and I. Everywhere we go, we seem to be hearing the same sermon on the same verses Jeremiah 29:4-14. In a nutshell, God wanted his people to go about their daily life: build houses, settle down, plant gardens, have children, have grandchildren and seek peace and pray for their city, while they waited on God. The next few verses say what will happen for God’s people when their wait is over.

                Jeremiah 29:10-14:  This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

Aren’t we always unsatisfied-searching for something better? Don’t we always want more? Think about it. In every stage of your life, you have been waiting on something…and the wait is always the toughest part. But the Lord says in Jeremiah that He will fulfill his GOOD promise. He has PROSPEROUS plans for you. He wants to give you HOPE and a FUTURE.  But He needs you to CALL on him, PRAY to Him and He will LISTEN to you. He will bring you back from captivity.

I googled the definition of captivity; Captivity is the condition for being imprisoned or confined. What are you imprisoned to? What confines you? For God’s people, it took 70 years to complete the wait. I’m guessing it “feels” like 70 years to you. But isn’t it so reassuring to know that He will come to you and bring you out of your imprisonment?! The only thing He asks of you is to seek Him with all your heart.

Something personal that God has been working on in me is letting "the wait" go. Sometimes I look back on my life and I think, “Where did the time go?” “Why didn’t I take those moments to relish what the Lord had given me instead of complaining about what I didn’t have? Time is flying by so fast…before I know it, Baby Girl will be grown up with her own children and I’ll be wishing to rewind time instead of fast forwarding it .So I’ve decided to wake up each day praying these words.

You have me glad

And I'll say of the Lord…

You are my shield

My strength

My portion

Deliverer

My shelter

Strong tower

My very present help in time of need...

Bloom Where You're Planted

There are a couple places in my life that fill me with peace. The first is putting Baby Girl to sleep at night. I love ending the day with her in my arms. I read her a story and then turn off the lights and hold her close. I tell her how precious she is to me, we say our night time prayers, “As I lay me down to sleep…” and I thank God for blessing me with her (the wait was certainly worth it). I ask God to bless her and make her strong, kind, and compassionate. She falls asleep while we pray.

When we lived in the country, my second peaceful place was in the woods. It was the trees and the birds and the quiet that brought peace to my life. But now that we live in the suburbs it’s hard to feel at home. Don’t get me wrong, I am blessed and thankful for this new life but I still feel like a country mouse in the city.

Today Baby Girl and I went on a walk. I’d point out the birds to her and she’d stick her little finger out and pretend to point at something too. I found a path that wasn’t meant for a car but it looked like a walking trail. So we ventured off into a shaded area with a wood bridge across a tiny stream. Immediately the smells and sounds came back to my memory…the dark cool shade of the trees, the sound of a mockingbird overhead, and yes even the smell of fresh dirt and water surrounding the stream. The shaded place opened up onto a soccer field with trees all around it. No one was there! In all my time here in the city, I have never been alone! There have been people everywhere I go. But this place was so unique. It was as if God said, “Here is your peaceful place while you wait a little more.”
                                                                            
I am reminded of Ephesians 3:16-21: “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may STRENGTHEN you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through FAITH. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp HOW WIDE AND LONG AND HIGH AND DEEP IS THE LOVE OF CHRIST, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY MORE than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

While we are waiting on God to sell our house, He has decided that this place will be where we land for a while. He will provide. He always has and He always will. You too, may be waiting on something from God. In the meantime, have faith, find your peaceful place and know how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ for you. He will do immeasurably more for you, than you could ever ask for or imagine.