Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I Believe in Good People~My Story Part 2


Good people are hard to find! Can I get an "Amen" on that! But when you find one, their kindness and love never goes unnoticed.  There are a few people I'd like to give Kindness Credit too! They are people that have impacted my life in one way or another. I won't be going into "My Story" again. But if you're interested in reading about that, click here. Just to set the stage for this blog, after my initial tongue surgery and misdiagnosis of cancer in 2009, the lesion came back six months later...

"I'm backkkkk," it taunted me one day as I looked in the mirror. "Oh Lord," I thought. "Not again." My tongue had been hurting for awhile now and I had just gotten up the courage to look in the mirror. There it was-a white patch on the right side of my tongue.

So with dread, I went back to the doctor who had performed the initial surgery. He acted rushed and hurried.

"Well, unfortunately, all I can tell you is that we should cut it out again."

"But, we cut it out the first time and it came back. Don't you think this has something to do with my teeth...you know since we are unsure of a diagnosis, maybe it's my teeth"?

"No, that's too much work. We just need to make a bigger gap between your teeth and your tongue."


His voice began to fade and memories began to swirl through my mind. It was one week after my surgery. I had woken up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. Something felt funny in my mouth. So I went to the sink and spit.  Blood, lots of blood came out! And it wouldn't stop. I yelled for The Hubs to come help. He flipped the lamp on and discovered that my pillow was soaked in blood. Panic-pure panic flew through my veins! My stitches had broken sometime in the middle of the night. The sink was covered in RED. The Hubs hurried and got me a washcloth to put pressure on my tongue. It soaked through. He grabbed about ten washcloths and we drove 30 minutes to the E.R. during the worst snow storm of the season.

"Oh dear Jesus please help me," I prayed over and over in my head.

By the time we made it to the E.R., there was no parking. So The Hubs dropped me off and let me go in while he found parking. The girl at the counter kept asking me questions. She didn't understand that every time I removed the washcloth to answer her, blood would come pouring out. She had a Dixie dup on the counter.

"Can I have your Dixie cup?" I mumbled. She was puzzled but handed it to me. I know it's gross but I filled up the entire Dixie cup within a minute of talking to her. As soon as she saw how much blood I was losing, she hurried me to the E.R.

It was a long night. The doctors couldn't stop the bleeding. So they ended up cauterizing my tongue because the bleeding just wouldn't stop...


I came back to reality and realized the doctor was shaking my hand. He was telling me to call him when I had decided to have the surgery again.

Later that week, we went to another doctor at a prestigious hospital to get a second opinion. The same thing. He was overly busy and didn't have time for me. "Cut it out," they all said. But I just couldn't do it again.


Dr. Fran Steigerwald, Ph.D.
During this time, I was still going to my counseling classes at Radford University. In my mind, there was no reason to stop "normal" for something that just kept interfering with my life. So at the end of one of my classes, I felt the need to talk with my professor, Dr. Fran Steigerwald. She was such a strong lady...a real mother figure. I looked up to her for her strength and wisdom. I sat with her in the empty classroom and cried and cried. I explained my situation, my fear of having to go through the surgery again, my fear of not being able to counsel because I would lose my ability to talk, and my fear that this thing would always haunt me. She quietly listened and at the right time said something that really hit home for me.

"But Kim, you are more than your tongue. You're life is so much more important."

It was her words that day and her kind gentle spirit that made me realize being alive was more important than losing my ability to talk altogether. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you. Thank you Dr. Steigerwald.


Dr. Ricardo Padilla, DDS
So I called a good friend who happened to be a dentist from another state and explained my problem. He suggested I try the dentists at UNC School of Dentistry. Experiencing procrastination and dread, a few months later, I finally scheduled an appointment with Dr. Ricardo Padilla, DDS. I was pregnant with Baby Girl at the time. He came in, introduced himself, sat down and actually listened to me talk about the entire ordeal this lesion had caused. He didn't rush me. He understood that I didn't want to cut it out again. He made me feel like I was the only patient he had for the day.
Dr. George Blakey, III
Dr. Padilla  wanted to enlist the advice of a fellow dentist, Dr. George Blakey, III and wanted to locate him before the day was over. Dr. George Blakey, III was also a kind man. He patiently listened to me-- even though he was missing dinner with his family. He explained that he would have to take out a small portion of my tongue to diagnose. However, both dentists also believed my teeth were causing the problem. Once they could make a diagnosis, they would decide whether I needed laser surgery to remove the remaining lesion or try braces to straighten my teeth.

Such relieving news to hear that I may not need to cut out more of my tongue! I felt like I was finally getting answers!. I didn't feel like I was inconveniencing anyone. They truly cared and I would wholeheartedly recommend both to anyone needing Oral Consultation or Surgery.

At 20 weeks pregnant, I drove back to UNC School of Dentistry for my last surgery. Dr. Blakey buried the stitches this time, unlike the first doctor who left the stitches on the outside of my tongue. This made it so much easier to eat and I had very little pain as compared with my first surgery. The diagnosis came back Hyperkeratosis. What, you might ask is that? It's a fancy way of saying, "You have a callous on your tongue." Because I had quit wearing my retainer, my back teeth had begun to fall in causing my tongue to rub against it repeatedly. Yes! This was exactly what I thought it was! So I was to get braces and come back for a laser surgery if the lesion was still there once the braces came off.
.

After giving birth to Baby Girl, I decided it was time to get braces. You may think, why doesn't this girl hurry? I'd want that lesion gone? Well, when you've been through it once before, been misdiagnosed with cancer, and rushed to E.R. for busted stitches, fear of the unknown takes over. This time around, I was giving all my fears to the Lord and trusting that He would take care of me.
Dr. Frank Iuorno, DDS

So I interviewed an orthodontist and ironically he also received his DDS from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and was certified in Oral & Maxillofacial Surgery and Orthodontics. I decided to choose Dr. Frank Iuorno, Jr., DDS, MS for my braces. Again, he listened to my story, he saw the lesion I talked about, and recommended braces immediately. Currently, the lesion has disappeared. And I will be writing a Celebration Blog if the lesion is still gone in January! Every time I go for a checkup, Dr. Iuorno greets me by first name and asks me how I'm doing. He cares about his patients. His business motto is, "Embrace Life." Such a powerful statement, don't you think!  I sincerely recommend him as your orthodontist.

The last two people on my list who need a Kindness Credit  are my husband, Dale and another counseling professor, Dr. Wendy Eckenrod-Green. After my initial diagnosis, it was both of these people that showed me a true Servant's Heart.

Dr. Wendy Eckenrod-Green, Ph.D.
Dr. Wendy Eckenrod-Green was the first professor to find out my initial diagnosis. The first thing she did was to make a cup of hot tea for me. She sat and listened to me talk about my fears of dieing, my fear of leaving my husband alone if I did, and my anger with God. Never once did she give me her opinion. True kindness means being able to listen to someone without interjecting your opinion, because you have the confidence that they will figure it out on there own.

Dr. Eckenrod-Green always said, "Someone who really listens is worth a million dollars." It was her silence that day and the freedom to talk that made her, "A Million Dollar Person," in my eyes. I hope you get the chance to meet such a wonderful lady one day.

The Hubs and I.
And last but certainly not least, my husband, Dale, also known as "The Hubs." Oftentimes when someone goes through a terrible unexplained event, we forget to think about the very person who is directly attached to them--their partner. They tend to fade into the background as family and friends drop off food or make symphathy phone calls to the ill person. Dale remained so strong for me the entire time. He maintained a sense of calm, even though inside he was experiencing something no partner wants to go through.

I remember one specific moment in particular. It was about a week after my initial surgery. All the family had been coming over early to cook meals or offer support, but it was growing dark and time for them to leave. So once the final person left, Dale came to our bedroom to see how I was doing. I was asleep but woke up when I felt him lay down and grab my hand.

"I love you Kim," he said.
"I love you too Dale."
And then he broke down, the pressure of having to be strong for so long finally crumbling him, "I don't want to lose you."

It was in that moment, that I realized what a strong man I had beside me. He had maintained such composure while going through a battle in his mind. I can't even imagine the conversation he must have been having with God. There is nothing in that moment I could have said that would have fixed it. And there is nothing I could have done to take away his pain. So instead, I just listened and we prayed. To this day, I consider Dale to be one of the strongest men I know. I couldn't have made it without him by my side. God knew what he was doing when he put us together in high school. A love like that doesn't come naturally. It's a true gift from God.

You see, I believe in good people the same way I believe in God. Kind people are those who take a moment to listen to you, who go through the pain with you, who greet you with a friendly smile, who offer you a cup of tea, or who gives you their hand during stormy times. Kind people are a direct reflection of God. I know sometimes, you may feel frustrated with how others treat you, but once you a take a moment to be kind to someone else, once you put others before yourself, that is when every other problem in the world seems to fade away.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Monday, October 22, 2012

Yes, My Doctor Says It's Okay To Run

Riddle me this. Who/What grows a human being, pushes a 35 pound stroller and a 25 pound baby all while RUNNING? That would be me. AKA: Super Momma ; ) Now that I have made it to 13 weeks and feeling great, I decided to ask my doctor, if she thought it was safe if I tried running again? She said it wouldn't harm the baby at all and to give it a try. But don't push myself to hard. She said my body might naturally make me quit running by 20 weeks. So I did my internet research and found out that running can actually help out during pregnancy, it helps you maintain a healthy pregnancy weight and gives you the endurance to take labor/delivery later on.

So for all my running blog followers out there, I haven't quit! I just took a break. I lost all energy at about six weeks pregnant (that would be my last running blog you read) and just now have begun to get it back. I'm finally over the hurdle of wanting to throw up all the time. So for the last seven weeks, I haven't exercised at all : ( I knew I had lost some of the endurance I had gained, so I decided to take it slow.

Today, I am proud to say I ran 10 minutes! Not all at the same time but I ran two minutes and then walked four (repeat 5 times). So total exercise time was 34 minutes! I listened to my body and as soon as I started to get out of breath, I stopped. This was probably the best move I could have made. Now I have to think about the health of the new baby as well.  Baby Girl and I stayed hydrated too! We stopped at a park midway and had our Capri Sun's together : ) She swang on the swing and I rested...another good pregnancy move I'd say.

This pretty much sums it up ; )
I can't promise you I'm gonna run the whole pregnancy but I do want to try. It makes me feel good about myself. And that seven weeks of no exercise at all meant no sleep at all for me. I just don't sleep good if I don't exercise. My anxiety level goes up, my frustration level goes up and I get more exhausted if I don't run. So running to me is a health benefit.

I have found that during my pregnancies, this is the time I feel most beautiful about myself. But I also feel bloated, chipmunk cheeky, and in the end--a beached whale : ) So maybe running will help me keep my confidence up while still feeling extra beautiful. Wish me luck and keep reading!

Monday, October 15, 2012

In Search of "The Perfect Pumpkin."

So this is what the good life feels like? Spending Saturday morning at the Berry Farm in search of the perfect pumpkin! The air was cool and crisp on your face and the smell of donuts and hot dogs wafted through the air.
 Daddy loves his girl! As soon as she was born, he was wrapped around her finger.
 Momma loves her best girlfriend!
 Baby Girl thought this was so cool to do!
 Just a little under 2.5 feet tall!

 So happy to wander through the mums while we waited in line for the tractor ride.

 Baby Girl was so excited to ride in the tractor!

 Tiny Hands and Tiny Feet

 The Hubs is a great daddy. He's so patient and loving with her.
 Baby Girl has switched from walking to running now. As soon as we got there, she took off running and fell face down in those tire tracks you see ahead of her.
Dirty Knees but No Tears. She picked herself up and kept going.
 Getting Baby Girl to hold his hand took an act of God! So independent, but who can blame her...she got it from Momma and Daddy.
 In search of the perfect pumpkin...
 She picked this one out for her new baby brother or sister : )
 Yah! So proud of her pumpkin!
 Daddy can you carry all of these back?!
There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by.
~Annie Dillard

Make a conscious effort to live each day as if it were more beautiful than the last saying to yourself, "This is The Good  Life."

Love, Kim

Friday, October 12, 2012

I AM GRATITUDE!


Children's Museum Day


Best Feeling Ever!


 Uh Oh! Got caught in the t.p.



Miss Independent wanted to feed herself...and the floor : )



Baby Girl is obsessed with "Choo Choos!" So we had to ride one and she waved at every single person she could see : )








This past Spring, I really thought the Lord wanted me to go back to work. I had to work one additional year to receive my full license as a School Counselor before 2013. I didn't worry about it at all, because I really thought that if He wanted me to have a job, He'd give it to me. Well, I only received one job interview and unfortunately I didn't get it.

It really began to impact my self-worth as a human being. But we all know that this ecomony really...SUCKS! And it's really hard to get a job because it seems like everyone is fighting for the same job. Well, I started to worry....

"What am I going to do if I lose my license" I'd ask The Hubs?

I called the Department of Education and they told me that if it expired and somebody wanted to hire me, then they'd have to apply for an extension on my license.

"Who's gonna wanna hire someone who's license has expired and who's work experience says, "Changed Diapers, Bathed and Fed Child blah blah blah blah blah."

I had a very bad attitude about it all; to the point where I started getting jealous of all those people out there with work. But very recently, the Lord has been working diligently on my heart.

As my husband says, "You are so blessed Kim. Not many women get to stay home and watch their kids grow up."

That really hit home for me. And then there are days I just am amazed at Baby Girl and how wonderful she is. Just like yesterday, when she reached her arms up to me and hugged my neck. I can't tell you how amazing that felt. And now's she's giving us kisses...such a sweet girl. So I sucked it up and apologized to God for my disgraceful attitude and my worrisome thoughts.

As I always preached to my students when I was a School Counselor, "Have gratitude." I remember one child specially yelling at me one day, "I am gratitude! I am gratitude!"

Well, if that little one can be gratitude, then so can I. I'll shout it to the roof tops, "I AM GRATITUDE!"

And because I have made a conscious effort to thank the Lord for this blessed job, each day has been more beautiful than the last. No more worries about what will happen when my license expires because right now, God has given me the "Parent License." And I'm gonna enjoy each moment with her...and the new baby : )

Just a year a half ago, she was 7 lb 6 oz...so tiny. She's grown so big so fast. Sometimes I can't even remember what she looked like as an infant! But these really are the best years and I'll never get them back. So thank you God for allowing me to watch my baby grow up. Oh yeah, and when I do apply for... as what some people call, "A Real Job," I'll describe my duties as follows:

  1. Compassion: Wiped hundreds of tears from my little one's eyes.
  2. Endurance: Spent many sleepless nights holding my little one during teething, sickness, bad dreams, etc.
  3. Love: Unconditonally loved a tiny human being by diapering, feeding, bathing, hugging and tickling every single day.
  4. Education: Taught my little one how to be kind, how to speak, how to crawl, and how to walk.
  5. Sacrifice: I gave it all up for my family. Sometimes cooking three meals a day, sometimes folding laundry late into the evening hours, sometimes reading the same book twenty times, and yes, sometimes giving up time for myself, so that my child and husband felt like they mattered.

Monday, October 8, 2012

My Secret Plan~Part 2

I suppose I had high expectations for myself when it came to giving up nagging for a whole week. A few days after I created my "no nagging" rule, I was talking on the phone with my MML. MML is the nickname my grandmother has had since we began college. You have to understand that MML is unlike most grandmothers because as soon as we hit college, she was instant messaging us (you know back in the day when AIM was cool). And then when Facebook was invented she got herself an account and yes, she even has SKYPE now. So the code nickname fits her personality quite well.

"So how's it going with your no nagging policy?" she asked.
"Oh, mamow. Not so good. I don't know what I was thinking about making it a whole week!"
She laughed at my response and told me in a kind of sing song voice, "Kiiiiimmmmm, I could have told you that would have been really hard to do." Sometimes she is so honest it cracks me up.
"Yeah, I should have said three days," I said jokingly.
"No. You should have said three hours," MML said with a chuckle.

We started laughing together and I explained that it was harder than I thought it would be and honestly...I hadn't even made it a few days. But after a great convo with her, I decided that I was gonna try one more time : ) And I made it for...3 days. Hey! It's better than nothing, right?

Since the one week has passed, I actually started making it a habit. And yes, it has done wonders for our relationship. I think the most surprising changes have been that we started LAUGHING with each other again. Our relationship became more PLAYFUL. I had missed that so much. It brought back good memories of dating in high school and then college. Things were starting to feel a lot easier.

Another positive affect on our relationship was that it became less stressful and The Hubs was trying to get off work at a more decent time. This really helped me not to be such a terrible nag. So the biggest change I noticed in him was that he was happier and tried to come home earlier. The biggest change in me was a humbling feeling given by God. After not being able to make it three days, I realized how much I had been nagging (I'm cringing as I write this). And...I realized how hard it would be to live with someone who nags so much. The very idea that our relationship became easier and more playful, was a huge indicator to me that I wanted to make this more of a permanent change.

Some days are harder than others and I haven't made it at all for one whole week. My biggest problem is trying to figure out how to get my point across without nagging. I mean, when I talked to some people about this, their idea of "no nagging" was no talking about your concerns at all. But in a good marriage, communication is key. I can't live my life being a door mat and never saying when something bothers me. But my husband can't live his life if I'm always complaining about something. So my question is, "How do I find the perfect balance?

The bottom line here is that I love my husband more than anything else in this world. We started out as best friends, we are best friends now, and I want to end as best friends. Marriage is a cycle of Love and Respect. And I can't quit giving love and respect, just because I think he's not loving or respecting me. Real love is continuing to be kind even when you feel they don't deserve it. Check out these two Bible Verses...

 Do not say, “I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.” ~Proverbs 24:29

But instead....

 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.~Colossians 3:12-14

Perfect Harmony! Wow, those are two powerful words when put together.

I was trying to find that new Christian song about not having love but I found this one instead... and it is perfect for this blog. Hope you enjoy!


Monday, October 1, 2012

The Brutally Honest Truth About My Struggles With Infertility

I sat on the edge of the bath tub one morning, anxiously waiting for the three minutes to pass quickly. “Come on” I said in my head, not wanting The Hubs to come find me. I was hoping that I could take a pregnancy test and surprise him with the good news. In the days before, I had envisioned Baby Girl surprising The Hubs at work wearing a cute “Big Sis” shirt.  But my vision was soon crumbling before me because this was the fourth pregnancy test I had taken-and all were negative.

“Surely, these tests are accurate. They’re supposed to tell five days sooner,” I had been thinking over and over all week.
Each negative test crushed my heart a little more. I knew my body was different than most women. It was perfectly normal for me to have a 50 day cycle. But I suppose the desire to be like everybody else surpassed everything else.
At parks, I would look at the pregnant mommas and think, “How come I can’t be like all the other mommas out there. I want to be able to have a baby naturally. Why do I have to use fertility medication to get pregnant?” I felt less of a woman because of my inability to provide my husband children naturally. At the grocery store, absent minded mothers would leave their babies in the grocery cart while they pranced down another aisle and I would think, “Why God, do you allow some people to have children that don’t need to have children? I could watch over that child much better than her. I could love that child much better. Look at her God! Somebody could steal her baby right now and she wouldn’t have a clue.” And even while singing praise songs at church, a tidal wave of sadness would wash over me when singing about letting God have His way. I would have to stop singing and just listen to the hundreds of voices around me as I fought back tears. “God, I wanted Baby Girl so badly. Thank you for giving me the chance to be a mother. I would go through it all again God…if that’s YOUR WILL. But God it’s going to take so long that way. First the Metformin, and then once my body is used to that, then the Clomid.” Oh the dreaded CIomid. The hot flashes, the unexpected breakdown of emotions… It certainly wasn’t an easy drug to take. I purposely shut off my prayer to avoid any tears during the church service. God heard my heart though. Everywhere I’d go He heard my unspoken prayer…sometimes too difficult to speak aloud.
The three minutes were almost up now. But before I looked at the test I had an epiphany. In order for me to live a happy life and enjoy the beautiful blessing of Baby Girl, I had to be willing to let it all go.  I had to be willing to release all control over to my Lord. So I bowed my head and clasped my hands together and began praying out loud in the bathroom.
“Lord, You know how much I want this and You know how it’s the one thing in this world I can’t buy, I can’t go out and find, and I can’t have it unless You give it to me. Lord, I thank you for Baby Girl. I realize I am blessed more than some who can’t even have one child. Thank you for her. And Lord you know that I struggle with this inability to have a baby on my own. It kills me. But Lord if this is what You want then help me to accept it. Help me God to let it go. Give me peace only You can provide. I ask these things in Your name. Amen.”
I lifted my head and took a deep breath before grabbing the test. I looked down at the test and exhaled loudly. “Not Pregnant,” said the test in big black letters. My eyes were cast downward. I frowned deeply. My spirit crushed but I remembered my prayer. I asked God to help me accept this and I would. I stood up, lifted my head and walked out of the bathroom ready to face my wonderful husband and daughter waiting for me.
A few days later The Hubs said, “Kim, have you got your period yet?” I was hoping he wouldn’t be asking me this. Because I knew that having a baby was on his mind and I wanted to please him so bad.
“No,” I said quietly as I cooked dinner. “I didn’t want to tell you this but I’ve bought five tests and four of them have been negative. It didn’t happen this time. I’m sorry, I wanted to give you another child so bad.”
“Kim, don’t think like that. You know I’m happy with Baby Girl and I love you. We can go to the doctor this month and set you up with the medication. But if you haven’t got your period then you need to take that final test,” The Hubs said gently.
“There’s no reason too. This is what my body does. It going through another 50 day cycle. And I don’t think I can look at another negative pregnancy test.”
“Well, if you’ve missed your period then you need to take a test.” Gosh he was being so persistent.
Giving up, I said, “Okay, but I’m not looking at it. You’ll have to do that. I can’t handle any more negative tests.
After dinner, I went back into the bathroom and took another test. I left the stick on the counter and left the room. The Hubs was doing something in the office but came out when the three minutes were over. I was beginning to get hopeful again but I tried to hold down my hope so that I could handle the bad news. We walked to the bathroom together and I saw the test first. There it was in big black letters, “Pregnant.” I gasped outloud, not believing what I was seeing. “It’s positive! It’s positive!” I gave him the biggest neck hug possible. “We’re pregnant,” I said my voice shaking. He had the cutest grin on his face. “We did it on our own!”
Four negative tests, one desperate prayer for peace, and one positive test! I was in total shock and disbelief. The story of Hannah has always been on my mind and I find it fitting for this blog.
1 Samuel 1: 8-20
“Why are you crying, Hannah?” Elkanah would ask. “Why aren’t you eating? Why be downhearted just because you have no children? You have me—isn’t that better than having ten sons?”
Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray. Eli the priest was sitting at his customary place beside the entrance of the Tabernacle.  Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.
And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.
As she was praying to the Lord, Eli watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking.
“Must you come here drunk?” he demanded. “Throw away your wine!”
“Oh no, sir!” she replied. “I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.”
“In that case,” Eli said, “Go in peace! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.”
“Oh, thank you, sir!” she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad. The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea, and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I asked the Lord for him.”

Even in Biblical times, women struggled to get pregnant. They experienced the same sorrow and bitterness that we do now. They wanted to please their husbands with children. They prayed silent wordless prayers that came from the deepest part of their heart.
For women, the desire to have a child is strong and powerful. I am no less of a woman because I had to use medication for Baby Girl. But Satan knew my weak spot. He knew where to attack me and what would hurt the worst. My prayer for peace was a “Giving Up” prayer. The Lord wants us to give our whole heart to Him. I am of the belief that here on Earth, we are put through struggling times to work out of us that which is not good. Because of these struggles, when we make it to Heaven we will be wiser, stronger, and perfect in HIS sight.
What is it that you struggle with? What is it that Satan knows is your weak spot? Remember that Satan will continue to attack you as long as you let him. Do you need to find a quiet moment and bow your head? Give it all up to God. Do as Hannah did and pour your heart out to the Lord. God hears you. Even when your too disheartened to put words to your prayer…
Baby Girl will have a brother or sister in April 2013 and we are so thrilled. Our baby’s heartbeat is strong and my own heart is at peace.
Wishing you peace in your hearts. Feel free to comment below if you would like me to pray for you as well.
Love,
Kim