This weekend we went tent camping in Craig County, Virginia. During our trip, we stopped by Dale’s old homeplace and took a picture at “our tree.” Comparing the picture to the one we took 18 years ago, I noticed that a lot has changed. But if I asked myself if I wanted to go back in time, the answer would be no. I love this stage of life with him. We can be comfortably silent and still enjoy each other’s company. We get to dream of trips with the kids and how we want our life to look. We get to go on dates to Lowes and Target and I love the simplicity of it all.
We do have disagreements but always want peace. There was a point in life when I realized 18 years was too great a time span to give up on the good life. After all, things always do get better. Yes, we have lines on our faces and thicker waist bands but three youthful children to admire. When we hold hands it used to mean, “I love this feeling.” But now, it’s to say,”I love YOU.” I often feel that Dale and I were placed together early on to show that commitment is achievable. That’s not to say we haven’t done and said things we dont regret. Oh yes, we've been spitfire mad at each other. There was that time a whole breakfast ended up in the trash can because something mean was said. Oh and several times we've cooled off in the garage. But at the end of the day, I’d rather Netflix and Chill with him, than anyone else. I'd rather cook him breakfast than throw it away. And yes, I'd rather see him slowly open the garage door to find me fuming in a camping chair, than anyone else. Too many beautiful memories have been made to give it all away. He’s my past, my present and my future.
Our Ten Year Retie the Knot Ceremony was romantic, stress free and magical. We needed this time together. It helped us remember why we feel in love so long ago. I'm so thankful God blessed me with a wonderful husband. Life hasn't been perfect, but it has been perfect with him.
We have so many people to thank for helping make this day so beautiful. To start, both sets of our parents for watching our three little blessings for six days. Thank you for your sacrifice of time! We are so appreciative.
The music was perfect for a beach setting and will cloud my memory for a lifetime!
Processional-Feels Like Home
Recessional- How Long Will I Love You
First Dance-Thinking Out Loud
The staff members at Sandals were unbelievably kind and gracious. I have to take a moment to thank each one of them for their service...
Trevon for doing an amazing job on my hair. He was able to create exactly what I wanted.
Sue-Anne and Zhane for being so warm and friendly; they planned such a romantic ceremony.
Roderick did a beautiful job on our photos and made us feel at ease during the process.
Velma made us feel so special as she was in charge of the reception itself.
SnapShot Videographer created a beautiful video to bring home for our memories.
The Minister created a beautiful ceremony that we can look back on fondly.
And of course, the Sandals Baker for giving us a beautiful Chocolate and Pina Colada cake of our choice.
Thank you Everyone! If you are looking for a romantic way to celebrate your marriage, I would highly recommend Sandals Montego Bay, Jamaica.
One of the great things about being married to The Hubs, is that his philosophy on stuff is exactly my philosophy. We don't like clutter but still seem to accumulate it, even though we try not to. It's fine if you like stuff but I see it as a dust catcher and another thing I have to clean. So for the past few Christmas's, if people ask me what I want, I tell them I want date nights. Give me a gift card to a restaurant or the movies. I'd rather spend time with The Hubs than worrying about where I'm gonna store the latest gadget.
Unbeknownst to us, someone very special gave us a gift card to The Jefferson. It is a beautiful historical five star hotel. You can imagine that our mouths dropped open when we received the card. It also, just so happened, that both our birthdays are right around Christmas time. So we decided to take our birthday money and use it towards a night at the hotel. We didn't have to pay one red cent : ) It was the ABSOLUTE BEST DATE NIGHT ever! Our package included dinner, overnight accomodations and breakfast in bed! So I called up my mom and dad and asked them to come watch Baby Girl. Of course, they happily agreed and I am so thankful they did!
We have been so blessed by others recently. I am so thankful for each person that made our date night possible. You are amazing. Thanks for giving a tired momma and daddy one night of rest (yes, we did go to bed at 8:30 pm-that's what being a parent does to you) so we could get back to the way things used to be...
The first sight we saw was the Christmas Tree. We felt like we were stepping into history. Did you know that the hotel opened in 1895 and that twelve presidents have stayed at The Jefferson?
"No less than twelve Presidents. Harrison, McKinley, Wilson, Coolidge, Taft, both Roosevelts (Theodore and Franklin Delano), Truman and Reagan, both Bushes and Obama have stayed at the hotel. Also among the rich and/or famous guests were: Admiral Dewey, Sarah Bernhardt, Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Vanderbilts, Whitneys and Barrymores, Gertrude Stein, Sir Edmund Hillary, Charles Chaplin, Nelson Eddy, Robert Mitchum, Ray Charles, Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley who enjoyed a breakfast of bacon, eggs over easy, milk, no coffee, and home fries, capped off with a scoop of ice cream in cantaloupe." (Jefferson Hotel History)
24 weeks pregnant with Baby Boy!
Extra Cool Bathroom with a phone near the toilet. We didn't use it. A little gross if you ask me : )
Of course we had to be crazy and get pictures of the free stuff the room came with. You can tell we don't do this often!
View from the Room at Night!
All dressed up for our dinner. I forced my pregnant body into pre-preggo hose just for the occasion. Let's just say, the hose and I got in a fight and after 30 minutes of "wrastlin", I finally won ; )
Gingerbread Train!
The hotel used to have alligators in the marble pools. Baby Girl would have loved to see this!
When we got to the hotel, we found out that our package came with breakfast! We were so surprised. We had no idea! It was wonderful. The Hubs laughed at me because I took the minature jellies and ketchup home with us.
I suppose I had high expectations for myself when it came to giving up nagging for a whole week. A few days after I created my "no nagging" rule, I was talking on the phone with my MML. MML is the nickname my grandmother has had since we began college. You have to understand that MML is unlike most grandmothers because as soon as we hit college, she was instant messaging us (you know back in the day when AIM was cool). And then when Facebook was invented she got herself an account and yes, she even has SKYPE now. So the code nickname fits her personality quite well.
"So how's it going with your no nagging policy?" she asked.
"Oh, mamow. Not so good. I don't know what I was thinking about making it a whole week!"
She laughed at my response and told me in a kind of sing song voice, "Kiiiiimmmmm, I could have told you that would have been really hard to do." Sometimes she is so honest it cracks me up.
"Yeah, I should have said three days," I said jokingly.
"No. You should have said three hours," MML said with a chuckle.
We started laughing together and I explained that it was harder than I thought it would be and honestly...I hadn't even made it a few days. But after a great convo with her, I decided that I was gonna try one more time : ) And I made it for...3 days. Hey! It's better than nothing, right?
Since the one week has passed, I actually started making it a habit. And yes, it has done wonders for our relationship. I think the most surprising changes have been that we started LAUGHING with each other again. Our relationship became more PLAYFUL. I had missed that so much. It brought back good memories of dating in high school and then college. Things were starting to feel a lot easier.
Another positive affect on our relationship was that it became less stressful and The Hubs was trying to get off work at a more decent time. This really helped me not to be such a terrible nag. So the biggest change I noticed in him was that he was happier and tried to come home earlier. The biggest change in me was a humbling feeling given by God. After not being able to make it three days, I realized how much I had been nagging (I'm cringing as I write this). And...I realized how hard it would be to live with someone who nags so much. The very idea that our relationship became easier and more playful, was a huge indicator to me that I wanted to make this more of a permanent change.
Some days are harder than others and I haven't made it at all for one whole week. My biggest problem is trying to figure out how to get my point across without nagging. I mean, when I talked to some people about this, their idea of "no nagging" was no talking about your concerns at all. But in a good marriage, communication is key. I can't live my life being a door mat and never saying when something bothers me. But my husband can't live his life if I'm always complaining about something. So my question is, "How do I find the perfect balance?
The bottom line here is that I love my husband more than anything else in this world. We started out as best friends, we are best friends now, and I want to end as best friends. Marriage is a cycle of Love and Respect. And I can't quit giving love and respect, just because I think he's not loving or respecting me. Real love is continuing to be kind even when you feel they don't deserve it. Check out these two Bible Verses...
Do not say,“I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done.” ~Proverbs 24:29
But instead....
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.~Colossians 3:12-14
Perfect Harmony! Wow, those are two powerful words when put together.
I was trying to find that new Christian song about not having love but I found this one instead... and it is perfect for this blog. Hope you enjoy!
Last week Baby Girl and I were folding laundry together. Hold up! Let me paraphrase...I was folding laundry in the living room floor and Baby Girl was taking everything out of the basket, just to see what 40 pieces of laundry looked like on the floor ; ) Afterwards, I took the laundry to the bedroom and bent over to pick up a book that had fallen on the floor and my back felt like something popped. Immediately, excruciating pain went through my back and down my leg. It was so bad, I could barely move! So I had to call The Hubs and ask him to come home early. He obliged and when he got home, he found me a crying mess on the couch. Poor Guy had to help me do everything...including going to the bathroom, running my bath for me and even cooking dinner. Baby Girl couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. Why was Daddy helping Momma? She tried to get me to pick her up and brokenheartedly, I had to tell her that, "Momma can't pick you up Baby Girl." She literally ran crying out of the bedroom. It breaks my heart to even think about the confusion that must have been going through her mind! Well, The Hubs took over and calmed Baby Girl down. He had so much patience! And he did it all without complaint. That's what a Godly man does. He loves his wife the same way he loves Christ. But boy was I overwhelmed with his love for Baby Girl and I.
This is the picture text I sent my sister and brother.
I was trying to make a joke out of my back problems and
asked them to pray for me. The dinner is what The Hubs
cooked for me that night.
So as I sat in bed alone, thinking about how sometimes the Lord literally renders you unmovable so that you, so to say "stop and smell the roses," I realized how much this man truly loves me. I began to think about how I needed to be a better wife to him. Sometimes The Hubs has to work late and I become a terrible grouch. It's just like the Bible says, "It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman." Proverbs 21:19.
So I concocted a plan that I wanted to secretly announce on my blog. Why "secretly" on my blog? 1) Because The Hubs doesn't read my blog unless I ask him too. This way he'll be surprised. 2) Because this blog holds me accountable and 3) I think other wives' marriages could benefit by agreeing to....NO NAGGING, GROUCHING, SNARLING THE LIP, OR FOR LACK OF A BETTER PHRASE MAKING YOUR HUSBAND MISERABLE!
So for one week, I am going to bite my tongue, zip my lip and throw away the key. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am going where no wife has gone before...I am giving up nagging for ONE WHOLE WEEK!
I will be sure to let you know how my week with The Hubs went and answer these curious questions...
1) Where you able to successfully zip your lip for one week?
2) If so, did it improve your marriage?
3) What stood out to you the most about yourself?
4) What stood out to you the most about your husband?
