Recently, I spent a few days with my sister to help her take care of her newborn baby. We have a special bond between us that goes much deeper than any friendship. We get each other. Partly, because we never quite felt like we fit in with other women. As teens, we always used to joke that we were taller than the other girls, didn't have the mousy voices like the other girls and just felt generally awkward. Where was our place? Would we ever truly fit in?
One day, during my stay with her, we had a conversation that started like this...
"Isn't this different?" said my sister.
"What?" I said as I was sitting cross legged in the floor with Baby Girl in my lap.
"Sitting here holding our babies. We both have kids now," she said.
"Yeah, I guess it is," and I was deep in thought because I was looking at her holding her little girl and me holding mine, wondering how in the world we were going to raise them to be good women.
That conversation with her fueled my desire to write a blog that would benefit other women today but more importantly, maybe Baby Girl would read it when she's older and see how passionate I was living the quiet life of a Godly Woman. I realized that if I wrote a blog about women, I had to be honest with myself and say, "Yes, I have been the evil fake one too. But I think my heart is in the right place. I think my teenager longing to fit in is drifting away, due in part to the wisdom I have gained from becoming a mother." So here goes, its honest, possibly offensive but incredibly real.
I could never be a lesbian. There. I said it. Not because of the political or religious opinions associated with it but because sometimes... I CAN'T STAND WOMEN. And what's ironic is that God chose me to be one! Honestly, I don't know what men see in us. We can be extremely moody, always worry what other women think about us (while secretly planning our attack against them), and choose to leave women out if we see them as less than we are. It's this vicious cycle of trying to make it to the top of "woman power."
Woman Power? Yes, power associated with thinking you are the best because you secretly don't want others to think you are the worst. Every woman has done it at one time or another. Have you been fake to anyone that doesn't meet your standards? Do you not realize that when you threw your friend under the bus, she did the same to you? Do you not post Facebook pics of yourself with perfect hair and makeup, for fear you will be judged by other women if you look less than perfect? Or use the "Skinny" button and "Teeth Whitening" button on all this new photo editing software to make people think you look like you have it all together? Disclaimer: Do Not Read This and Automatically Say, "Well that's not me!" It is you. We've all done it before...be real with yourself for once.
I always ask myself, "Why can't I ever be at the top of woman power?" To have loads of friends, a social life that seems to never end, and the feeling that I have reached the top of the totem pole. But I always come back to same conclusion. To be at the top of the woman totem pole means that you have decided to disregard all human kind for your greater good. I DON'T WANT THAT! Secretly, I care about everyone much more than I care about myself. I don't want to post tons of Facebook pictures of me with all my friends because in the end-those friends will come and go. And what have I accomplished by doing that? Maybe a spark of jealousy in another woman or hurtfulness that goes much deeper than a picture is worth. I don't want others to feel left out if I don't invite them to a party I'm hosting. What have I accomplished by doing that? Only the feeling of inadequacy in women I deeply care about.
"Our life is full of seasons,"as I used to tell my fifth grade students. "Friends will be here for a short while and then you will change... or they will change and you move on." But what's interesting is that those fifth grade students don't like hearing the truth. They want to think that relationships will always last and they cling to the idea that...just maybe... they can make it to the top of that totem pole.
Most adult women do the same thing! They haven't yet reached that point of self actualization where they realize it's better to focus on their relationship with God than with other women. Can you imagine what it would be like if the women of the world chose to let go of woman power? We would all look at each other as if we were on the same level. We wouldn't be secretly planning our next attack; instead planning our next move of kindness. And most importantly, we would care about ourselves; instead of looking at our ownselves as LESS.
It's clear to me, that God has a special place for women. He created us as nurturing helpmates for our husbands and children. We are meant to endure great hardships through childbirth. We are strong creatures. But because of our nurturing heart and our give back attitude for others, we tend to let ourselves go to the wayside. I want to think of myself as reaching the top of "woman power." But I want the definition to change.
Woman Power: To think of yourself as a beautiful creature, not less than any other woman, full of love for human kind and always giving back to others, reassuring yourself that by doing so, you have reached the top of the Woman Totem Pole.
Quote from My Sister: "Wouldn't it be nice if we weren't concerned with people patting us on the back; instead living in the moment. "
Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,
Proverbs 31:20
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
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