Dancing With Your Love

Thanksgiving Dinner with My Family

It was Thanksgiving night and the kids were watching Mickey Mouse on TV. All of a sudden, The Hubs came in from the garage with a dvd in his hand and said, "Hey Baby Girl, want to see mommy and daddy get married?"

 

"Where did you find that?" I asked.

 

"It was in the safe," he said as he put the DVD in the DVD player.

 

But what began playing was not our wedding but our first dance as husband and wife. To the song of, "When I Said I Do," by Clint Black and Lisa Hartman, I watched two very young kids fall into each other's arms with sweet sweet smiles and dance. I watched as I took my hand and rubbed the back of his head. I saw the tears in his eyes and remembered how much love we had then. Best friends. That's what we've always been, that's what everyone has always said we were. That's what I've always known.

 

"Why are you and daddy dancing?" said Baby Girl.

 

"Because we love each other. We got married."

 

Baby Girl propped her little body up on the ottoman with her hand under her chin and watched intently.

 

I thought about how seven and a half years ago, we would have never known how much life would change for us. In that moment, we were just relieved to be together. I saw that my eyes never left his and how willingly he accepted my kisses. I started crying. Just a few tears, just a few beautiful tears because I realized how special our marriage was then and how even more special it is today.

 

In seven and a half years we've gone through three major moves, a doctorate and master's degree, a misdiagnosis of cancer and soon to be the birth of our third child. It's hard to believe that all that can happen in that amount of time...but we are so much stronger for it now. Oh we've had our rough patches. Some not even worth talking about but we've always come back to each other.

 

Most recently, we just completed a Marriage class at our church. I walked in believing I would not learn anything I didn't already know. But upon our last class, I walked out feeling more love for my man than I ever have in the 14 years I've known him. From the very beginning we discussed how one of God's plans for our life was for us to be married and how our marriage was to reflect that of Christ. I always thought that was the most ambiguous saying I had ever heard. But every class was centered around Ephesians 5:22-33.

 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

 

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,  that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,  that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.  For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 

I always used to get so upset when preachers would speak on the issue of submitting to your husband but I soon realized it's more about showing him respect than it is of "taking crap from a man." And furthermore, look at how much more is said to husbands about loving their wives! I will try to explain exactly what I think this means.

 

Men ultimately need respect. They need to feel like we value them, that we trust them in running our families, that we believe in them wholeheartedly. And it's all the little digs and sarcastic remarks that make them feel less of a man. It hurts their most inner soul. And although at times, they really don't deserve our respect, they still need it.

 

And women, ultimately need to feel loved. We need to feel like our man appreciates all that we do, that he wants to be near us, that he wants to still hold our hand after seven and a half  years of marriage. We may not deserve their love at times but we still need it.

 

Our marriage is a model of Christ's love for us. And when I put two and two together and realized the purpose of my marriage was to model Christ to my children, the whole meaning of marriage changed for me. When they see us arguing and hurting one another that is not a good example of Christ. In fact, it's just the opposite! When they see us speaking kindly to one another, showing each other ultimate respect and even taking a few moments to hug and kiss, it shows our children how deep our love is for each other-how deep Christ's love is for us.

 

Here's my best example of how this works out. One day, The Hubs and I were disagreeing and the disagreement was quickly spinning out of control. I could feel my blood simmering. He came into the kitchen while I was doing dishes and said, "Kim, you may not always deserve my love but you always need it." I turned around and he hugged me. I literally melted into his arms. It was exactly what a woman needed to hear.

 

A few days later and another disagreement was brewing. I was particularly the one "in the wrong." He left to go to work and the argument was never resolved. I sat at the kitchen table watching the kids eat breakfast and said, "I'm gonna do it."

 

Getting up to pick up the phone, I dialed his number. He was in his car going to a meeting and had volunteered to drive another employee. My mind was like, "Dang, I got to say this within earshot of his coworker. Greeeaat!."  

 

Mustering up courage I said, "Dale, you may not always deserve my respect but you definitely always need it. I am sorry for how I talked to you this morning."

 

I thought, "Well maybe he will want to have a conversation about this in front of the coworker." But all he said was, "Thank you Kim. I love you." And in that moment, I could hear his love pouring from his voice. The argument was over.

 

It's hard to believe, but in all the years we've been married, no one ever told us what it really meant to treat our spouse like Christ. To us it was a vague biblical concept that we had only hoped to understand in our old age.  What a blessing it has been to finally get it. We learned so many more things in our marriage class that are worth talking about...like forgiveness, the 5 Love Languages and the sizzle part of your marriage. But those will have to wait for another blog. I wanted to conclude with one more story that just might complete this blog...

 

The kids were in bed-finally! The Hubs came downstairs after having put Baby Girl to sleep. I was resting my overly pregnant body on the couch after having put Baby Boy to bed. He got up to turn on our date night tv series but I had a special request.

 

"Hun, will you dance with me?"

 

I think the question caught him off guard but he turned around and said, "Yah, what would you like to dance to?"

 

I thought about it for a moment and said, "Well there's this song I've been hearing on the radio. It's called, Who I Am With You. It reminds me of you and how much I love you."

 

He pulled it up on his phone and I pulled myself off the couch. Taking me into his arms, the music began playing and I automatically rubbed the back of his head while he smiled sweetly at me. I laid my head on his chest and smelled his heavenly smell. Immediately, it took me back to the countless number of high school dances we had been to years ago. The lyrics from the song sang,

 

"You make me laugh, you make me high, you make me want to hold on tight 'cause

Who I am with you is who I really want to be
You're so good for me
And when I'm holdin' you, it feels like I've got the world in my hands
Yeah, a better man is who I am with you..."

 

 

Every marriage has it's ups and it's downs. But if we can hold on to those biblical principals talked about in Ephesians and apply more effort in our marriage than we do in satisfying ourselves, we will find a lasting marriage. Keep up the faith, my readers. Keep trying. Even if you think your spouse doesn't deserve it, find it in yourself to selflessly give to them. Who knows, it may just relight the fire that has been gone for so long.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

  

According to The Hubs and I, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year. We are Christmas-holics! When we first married we'd go to every after Christmas sale and stock up. Now? Our stock pile is so plentiful we don't need to go-accept for wrapping paper :) 

Since Tiny is coming very soon we figured we'd better get a move on our Christmas decorating. So recently we spent all weekend getting out the mountain of Christmas tupperwares and decorating the house.

While The Hubs did the hard work of unloading and setting up the tree, I spent the morning making Christmas bows. It's my absolute favorite Christmas tradition. There's something about just picking out the ribbon and being extra creative that puts me in the Christmas spirit. While

the kids watched Polar Express we worked hard all day long. Here's some photos to document our progress.

Lots of people ask me, "How do you get your bows so uniform?" And I tell them the key is to buy a Bowdabra! Seriously it is not a waste of money. If you think about all the Christmas bows you can make for each window, bannister and fireplace you are saving money right there. It is extraordinarily expensive to purchase premade bows! Spend a little money for the bowdabra.

I finally made myself a Christmas mantle fireplace decoration. It took 7.5 years! Our theme is candy canes.

Notice the baby gate around the tree. Also notice that Baby Boy brought in a stool to try and climb over. This kid is so creative;)

And I finally made a mailbox wreath! It matches all the bows on the windows of the house.

But you know what my most favorite part of Christmas is?

Hanging the stockings! And this year we have Tiny's stocking ready for her. I got them monogramed at Mackenzie Grace, a store in Chesterfield, Virginia. They always do such a quality job when I ask them to monogram the kids' baby blankets or stockings. 

Merry Christmas everyone!!! 

A Momma's Heart

"Do you know how the baby is going to get out of momma's belly?"

I looked at The Hubs with shear panic and extremely raised eyebrows. What was he trying to do?!

"No, how?"

"Ask your momma," said Mr. Jokester with the biggest smirk ever.

She looked at me very curiously and I answered with the most brief and complete response suitable to a three year old..."Magic and Fairy Dust, Baby Girl. Magic and Fairy Dust."

That seemed to satisfy her curiosity for the time being. Later that night, I was putting her to bed when she asked me, "Momma, when the baby comes out what kind of shirt will she wear?"

I chuckled. "Honey, she won't be wearing clothes."

"She won't be wearing clothes! She'll be nakie?"

"Yes, there are no stores inside mommy's belly to buy clothes for the baby. She will be naked. Just like you were and just like  Baby Boy was."

She did that preschool giggle and placed her hand over her mouth as if to say that was the craziest thing she'd ever heard. I tried to change the subject fast and remind her we needed to pray. After prayers, she said,"Momma will you sing to me my night time song?" And my heart melted.

To the tune of an old bluegrass song I sang, "Go to sleep Little Izzy, Go to Sleep Little Izzy. Momma loves you so and daddy does too. We'll always love you baby." She put her hands under her head and closed her eyes. That was all she needed to know she was loved.

I went to check on my precious son who was fast asleep in his bed. I heard his heavy breathing and knew it was safe for me to kiss his cheek and rub his head. I thought about how earlier that evening, he came over to me and said, "Ninny!" Thats his best pronunciation for "Mommy." He had put his little hands on my legs and was trying to climb up into my lap. Oh I was so tired and didn't feel like lifting him up but his hopeful eyes and loving smile made me push through the tiredness and lift him up. I kissed his neck  and held him close. Oh his smell. His sweet little boy smell. And the thought crossed my mind, "When did he become my little boy and not my baby boy?" 

As I closed his door softly, I walked to my bedroom to change into pj's. My mind was centered around my kids. My

Momma's Heart was flustered. These sweet little kids are about to get another sibling. 

I prayed, "Lord, help them to know they are still loved despite the fact that they may not get a lot of attention when the baby is born. Help them to still feel like my babies...my sweet little loves. I don't want them to feel slighted in the least. And give me courage to go through another delivery again. I am excited to meet our little one but oh so tired. Lord I love you and know you will walk me through my final delivery. Amen."

                                      My sister and I, pregnant together both with baby girls.

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT)

Pregnancy Update 34.5 Weeks...

 

Tiny Blessing...you are head down and ready to go. My hips and legs ache and I definitely waddle. I love feeling your kicks at night. You keep your knees and feet right at my belly button. Sometimes if I lay on my left side I feel a huge knot near my ribs and I know your tiny feet are poking me. The doctor says my blood pressure is going up and he has mentioned having to induce me a little early. This worries me for your safety. But everyone I talk to says that 38 weeks is fine. That means in less than a month you will be here! I am so excited to meet you. But a little nervous about those sleepless nights to come. We are working on your room and I think it fits you perfectly. Grey and purple butterflies...it's soothing to be in there. Sometimes I sit in your nursery chair with my hand on my belly and imagine what you will look like. I can not wait to meet you and smell your beautiful baby smell. I can not wait to look at those tiny fingers wrap around my pinky. I can not wait to hear you breath slow and then fast. I pray for a safe delivery and health for both of us. We have nothing to worry about because the Lord will be with us. You have so many people who love you already but I think the one person (besides momma and daddy) who is most excited for your arrival is your Big Sister. She talks about you all the time and she can't wait to hold you. Come safely and quickly little one. There is a lot of people ready to meet McKinlea Faith.

Two Ways to Be a Less Stressed Momma When It Comes to Planning and Making Family Dinner

I LOVE to cook for my family. But my biggest problem is planning. I just HATE not being able to be spontaneous. I feel like my time would be best spent having fun with my kids, doing laundry, and taking them to doctors appointments then sitting down to plan a week of meals. Sure, my idea is a good one but it never works out. I always end up waiting til the last minute to cook and then I get all freaked out and think there's nothing but Hamburger Helper to fix.

So this week, I actually made the effort to make a menu. Then I went to the grocery store only for those items. Baby Boy was melting down so I skipped all the inside aisles and only focused on meats and veggies.

I wrote on our chalkboard the weekly menu ( definitely not Pinterest worthy but it got the job done). And I stood back and sighed in relief. It was done. I could wipe the sweat from my "planning" brow and focus on having fun with my kids at the park later that afternoon.

Do you know what I realized? Just by doing a little bit of planning made my day so much easier.

I'd wake up, look at the menu, lay the meat out in the fridge to marinate and go get the kids ready to go out. When I got back for lunch and nap, I'd put them to bed and get out my favorite cooking item...a roaster. In went the meat and a can of green beans. No need to salt, the marinade would take care of that. I'd cook it at 250 degrees from about 1-3 and then 200 until The Hubs got home. It even freed up some time to make a dessert.

So since I'm about to talk about dessert, let me talk about something else I've been working on...no wasted food. You would be amazed with how much food I store in the fridge. That would be fine if we actually ate it but most of the time it gets stuffed further and further back in the fridge never to see the light of day again. Inevitably, it always ends up in the garbage disposal two weeks later. So I've really made a continual effort to use up the food in the fridge for lunch or find creative  ways to use odd ingredients in my pantry.

Along with the dinner I cooked, I found a can of pumpkin purée and cream cheese that would NEVER normally be used. I went on Pinterest and looked up recipes with pumpkin and cream cheese. There were so many recipes to choose from! Finally, I  was able to find one where I had all the ingredients! Pumpkin Cream

Cheese Bread...sounded easy enough. The only thing I changed was to use whole wheat flour because that was all I had. Hey at least it was a little healthier...or maybe just full of fiber. It turned out great! Not to sweet and good enough to warm in the microwave if the

kids wanted a piece for breakfast. Here's the link if you're interested. http://nancycreative.com/2010/10/08/pumpkin-cream-cheese-bread/.

So what I'm saying is sometimes it goes a long way if you plan ahead. Coming from someone who hates planning, I'd say this is valuable advice. It made a less stressed out momma and a very full and happy husband and kids. 

Happy Planning & Cooking,

Kim 

Give me Peace Dear Lord-Momma Needs a Break

                        

"I'd like to be your best friend, best friend, best friend." 

Baby Girl was singing this song to the tune of "Mary Had a Little Lamb." It wouldn't have been so bad had she not been on repeat, like a broken record. 

We were all at the dinner table trying to enjoy a home cooked meal of pork loin and baked apples. Baby Boy was refusing to eat-again. Instead opting to squall at the top of his lungs that he wanted down. I looked at his little body and thought,"That boy needs to eat." I envisioned opening his mouth like a dog and shoving it in. But instead I opted against that idea.

The Hubs had scarfed down his food and was now heading to the living room to turn on Netflix. I knew what he was going to try and watch and had to politely remind him that,"The Walking Dead" was not suitable for the eyes of children.

Wait! Back that train up. Ok you caught me in a lie. I did not politely tell him to turn off, "The Walking Dead." I snarled my nose at him and said, "I can not believe you are even thinking about turning on that show!"

In the background, Baby Girl is STILL singing, "I'd like to be your best friend, best friend, best friend..." And it dawned on me as I stabbed a piece of pork loin that I'd rather stab the fork through my ear! That was it. Momma needed a break. I got up from the table and walked upstairs to our bedroom. Turning on the bathtub water, I saw tons of bath tub toys and a naked baby doll floating in the tub. 

"Oh you do too?" I told myself. Having an imaginary conversation with myself I added, "Who doesn't enjoy a nice hot bath with naked baby dolls?" I was being sarcastic now. Over the years, I've found my mode of coping with difficult issues is to sarcastically add some very dry humor to the situation. Sighing I scooped up the toys and got into the tub.

"Oh Lord," I prayed. "I have not been worried about three children until this very moment. But after tonight, I know that Satan has taken notice of my inner peace and created a chaotic situation for me to deal with. Lord, all I want is to enjoy these last eight weeks of pregnancy. This is hard for me knowing that this is it. Have I cheated myself out of this experience by having them so close together? I know that my plan was for them to grow up close in age but I'm only 29 and I can't bare to think that I'll never have another baby in my belly. God, I know for me I can't handle anymore kids, but it's the thought of never being pregnant again that troubles me. So I'm asking you for peace in knowing that this is it. I'm asking you to help me maintain energy and patience with my little ones. Because when they are asleep at night, I lie in bed and think about how wonderful they are. I think about all the cute things they did today and how I want to cherish those little moments forever. Please be with me in a special way dear Lord. Amen."

I layed back in the tub and pulled out my Jesus Calling devotional. Flipping to the days date, I read these words...

"Many voices clamor for your attention, enticing you to go their way. A few steps away from your true paths are pits of self-pity and despair, plateaus of pride and self-will. The way to stay on the path of Life is to keep your focus on Me."

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. (Hebrews 12:1-2 NLT)

It was at this very moment that Tiny gave me a swift kick right at my belly button and I watched in amazement as I felt small arms and legs moving across my pregnant belly.

Thank you Lord for Tiny. She is such an act of love and a blessing to me. I will run with endurance the race you have set before me and I will keep my focus on You.

                   31 weeks

Plain and Simple

Oh my! Where to begin? I guess I could begin by saying that since 2011, we have been traveling to Pennsylvania every Fall. It has become my favorite family tradition. Just seeing the leaves change, feeling the cool crisp air and getting to return to a plain and simple life is all I need to feel recharged.

 

I am obsessed with the Amish lifestyle and have probably read every book by Beverly Lewis...and even a few biographies of breaking free from the Amish. I think part of me craves the simple life more than "fancy" things. Sometimes, I crave the quiet solitude of the lifestyle. And sometimes I even crave their moral code; their desire to please the Lord at all times, their need to always glorify Him in every action.

 

We stayed at Eby's Bed and Breakfast, a farmhouse built in 1814 but also full of history since the 1700's. Currently, it is a dairy farm and fresh milk is served each morning with your breakfast casserole or chocolate chip pancakes. The small attached apartment we slept in was exactly what we wanted...simple. You don't need much when you are with your family...just a clean and warm place to lie your head at night. It was perfect. It even came with a private little kitchen so we could eat in our pajamas and not feel worried about Baby Boy getting food everywhere. So peaceful. Did I mention how much the kids loved it-especially Baby Girl. All she wanted to do was play and run. We stayed outside most of the time. Baby Boy was amazed at the cows. Each morning when you'd step on your front porch, cows would be grazing in the fields.

 

"Oooohhh woahhhh," he'd say.

 

Baby Girl spent a lot of time chasing the kittens and both kids became very comfortable around the calves as they were allowed to feed them.

 

To The Hubs and I, this was exactly the kind of vacation we needed. It was easy. It was simple. Our kids were happy and so of course we were beyond thrilled. I see Eby's Bed and Breakfast becoming a definite part of our family fall tradition. I will leave you with this verse. It's always on my mind when thinking about simplicity, joy, and peace. 

 

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8

 



On our way to Lancaster. Couldn't believe they were holding hands. So I had to take a quick pic.

 

We Made It!



Eby's Bed and Breakfast

 

 

 What a Beautiful Front Porch View!

 

 

 



Baby Boy kisses the ground! He's so happy to be out of the car!

 



 

 

 We stayed in the small efficiency apartment attached to the main farmhouse built in 1814.

 

 These kids don't need much. The apartment had all the toys they needed and they were so happy about that.

 

Look at that light switch!

 

A Morning on the Farm 

 Making the baby calves their milk.

 Baby Girl feeding a one week old calf.

 Feeding the cows their grain.

  

 Milking a Cow

 Baby Boy kept going, "Woah."

 Gathering Eggs

 

 

 Dutch Wonderland

An amusement park totally devoted to kids.

 

 Daddy coaching her not to be scared.

Riding the Monorail

 I think Baby Boy was in heaven.

 

 The Princess and the Frog Prince Show

 

 

 

Exploring the Farm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Lunch Train Ride on The Strasburg Railroad

 

 

 The kids' first ever Whoopie Pie.

 

Exploring One of the Many Covered Bridges of Lancaster, PA.