Recently, I went to a park with one of my great mom friends. We sat on a bench and talked about weekend plans while the kids ate a snack. It was an easy conversation...that's what friendships should be like. When she had to leave, I decided to stay awhile longer and strolled over to the sandbox. I didn't know any of the moms but we gave each other the usual, "I'm not a mean mom" smile and watched our kids play together. A mother of two children came over and we started talking about the similarities between our one year old sons. We really started to hit it off and I thought,"She seems like a truly authentic person...maybe I've found another friend." The conversation came to a close and I noticed she had gotten out her phone-the usual sign that we would trade contact info and go on a play date in a few weeks. But then she hit me with THE question.
"Would you like to get together for coffee ...and talk about my Mary Kay business?"
My heart literally sunk to the pit of my stomach. Why? Because I felt like the entire conversation had been fake. She wasn't interested in finding a friend. She was interested in finding another potential customer.
I think she could see the light behind my eyes had left and disappointment set in,"...or just coffee?"
Graciously, I said with as much tact as possible. "Maybe just coffee. I don't think I could handle a Mary Kay business and be pregnant."
She politely agreed, taking my info and walked away towards her other friends. I told the kids it was time to go home and walked to the car alone.
Please don't read this wrong. I will and have monetarily supported all my friends in their businesses. I think it's important to support all my women friends willing to take on a business and a family. I just don't think it's for me. And it literally breaks my heart when the only reason somebody wants to talk to me is to ask me to buy something from them. Why can't we be friends too? Why is it that I have to be "hunted" at the park? Why is it that the only time I see them is for a business opportunity?
I'm not saying we have to be best friends because honestly only about 1% of people actually have a best friend. Just friends sharing in each other's journeys. Friends who authentically support each other and who want to be there for friendship's sake. Is that too much to ask for?
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