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| 12 weeks! Almost out of the first trimester. |
I walk into the Ob/Gyn office with rosy cheeks and an embarrassed sheepish look on my face. I placed the mysterious Wal-Mart bag I was carrying at my feet, hoping no one would question my grab bag of a present.
"I'm here for my appointment," I said quietly.
We went through the normal insurance questions and she said,"Okay Kim, your all set."
I stood there for about two seconds which felt like ten to me. "Umm, I have my 24 hour sample here." Maybe she would since my uncomfortableness and go ahead and take it from me.
"That's okay. A lab tech will be back to get it from you shortly," she said matter of factly.
"What?!" I wanted to say. "You're gonna make me lug this 5 lb jug of..." (You get my drift)
I was mortified. She was gonna make me do the walk of shame infront of twenty some patients. Suddenly my nervousness reminded me that I had to pee.
"Can I go ahead and use the restroom?"
Little Miss Matter of Fact just stared at me as if I had asked the craziest question ever. "How about you just wait for the nurse to call you back and then you can leave your sample."
"Sample! Sample!" I wanted to yell. "Look here lady. This is my third baby and I know the routine. You don't need to announce to everyone that I have to leave my sample in a cup. And plus who are you to tell me when I can and cannot pee. I'm not in elementary school for crying out loud."
Wait a minute. I didn't actually say those things to her but I'm sure she heard the entire conversation from my pregnancy hormone ridden stink eye.
I just stood there...stunned that I would have to hold my bladder even longer. "Okay..."
And thats when I turned and walked away carrying my mysterious jug of who knows what beside me. I swear it was the ultimate walk of shame. The Wal-Mart bag loudly crinkled as it banged against my leg. I felt a million eyes staring at me...at least that's how it felt.
I sit down and rummage through my purse for my phone. Maybe I could avoid eye contact by pretending to do something important on my phone...
"Okay Kim, you can go back and leave your sample now."
It was that lady again. Not even 30 seconds had went by since I had sat down!
So I get back up, grab my jug and head to the bathroom. One thing I should have learned by now is that there is no need to be embarrassed. All modesty leaves the building as soon as that pregnancy test comes back positive. You will text/facebook pictures of your pee stick to everyone you know, get your arm poked a billion times and in my case lug around mysterious jugs of specimen for all to see.
Finally, they call me back to the room for my appointment. A young training nurse tries to listen to the baby's heartbeat but puts the probe on the wrong part of my stomach.
"If it helps, I think the baby is over here," I point to the complete opposite side of my stomach. She moves it over to the other side and Tiny Blessing's heartbeat is quickly heard and then the baby moves away.
They try for 10 more minutes to hear the babies heartbeat without success. I so badly wanted to grab that heart rate monitor out of her hand and find Tiny's heartbeat myself. But they assured me the doctor would do an ultrasound and find the heartbeat.
And sure enough, the doctor was able to find the baby and heartbeat of 140 bpm. It was so cool to see! Out of all of my babies, I have never gotten the special treat of seeing the baby at 12 weeks! Such little arms and little legs! And how fast Tiny could move and flip! It was the most precious site ever.
Sometimes, I'm still in shock that I'm really pregnant. I'm still so amazed at this surprise miracle. It's like Tiny is saying, "I'm here momma and I'm gonna be your biggest surprise yet. You just wait and see what I'm gonna do."
So seeing those little arms and legs move made me think, "God has a divine purpose for each one of my children. And even though this is the third baby, seeing them on the ultrasound is just as exciting as seeing them for the first or the second time."
Lately when I tell people I'm pregnant and how this baby was our beautiful surprise, I always get one of two responses.
1) "Oh honey, in the end it will work out," as they roll their eyes in disbelief that I'm gonna have three babies under three years old.
Or...
2) "You know, each baby is a special gift. Make sure you appreciate them," in I'm Trying to Be a Wise Person like fashion.
Well of course it will work out! I love all three of my children. It will be tough but God knew I wanted children close in age. He knew what He was doing. And OF COURSE, I appreciate my babies. When I say that Tiny was a surprise, its a great surprise! Not a bad surprise. It's a, "Oh my gosh Dale, the pregnancy test has a faint line on it. We're...pregnant...again," as I put my hand to my mouth and joyfully laugh kind of surprise.
Seeing Tiny Blessing on that monitor made me so thankful. I said out loud to the doctor, "Oh I wish Dale was here to see this." So she took a picture for him to see when I got home. Children are tiny gifts from Heaven. Appreciate the experience, appreciate them. As a mother, you have to go through so much to have them and then when they're born you have a lot of hard parenting ahead of you. Sometimes, you'll have to do things that you don't want to do (like lug around 24 hour urine specimens). But know that each moment in your life (even the embarrassing ones) was created by the Father above for a higher purpose than you ever could imagine.
Psalm 127:3
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
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