Fiercely Confident

It should be socially acceptable to do the Whip Nae Nae  while running at the gym, right?! At least, that's what I secretly wanted to do today. 

"Ooh watch me, watch me. Ooh watch me, watch me."

In my head, I was singing when a fellow runner dressed in a black hoodie decided to join me on the next treadmill. It caught me off guard because I was in my zone. And what he didn't know was that he had become my competition.

 

Shhh! Don't tell anybody. I secretly compete with my fellow runners to see if I can outlast them. Bahahahahha! I've done it before too. There was this one time, this "young thing" teenager decided to run beside me in her shorty shorts. And I was over there like,"Oh yah, well I may not be able to-or want to for that matter- wear those shorty shorts. But girl, I've birthed three children and that means I can outlast you running."

I know! I know! It sounds horrible. But as you are reading this, you secretly want to know if I outran her. And I'm here to say,"Yes. I. Did!"

But in all honesty, I am really really enjoying running again. You all know I did the stair elliptical machine 'til I was 36 weeks pregnant and then took a short break after having Tiny. I thought it would affect my endurance because I stopped, but it didn't!

About a month ago, I told myself it was time to try again. I said I'd just run 5 minutes. Well I felt so good, I ended up running 10. And since then, I've increased. But today, I ran 30 minutes without stopping! Woohoo! My confidence was on fire. Which brings to my final thoughts.

Running for me is so cathartic. It makes me feel good about myself-something I've never been good at. But it's the act of accomplishing something incredibly hard that makes me say,"Wow! Ooh watch me, watch me!"

I looked at my treadmill accomplishments and said, "Yah, I could blog those numbers but it don't really mean a thing." What really is important is that I believe in me. No longer does my treadmill subconsciously say that awful F word "Fat." You see, now my treadmill says that beautiful F word, Fiercely Confident. And to beat it all, I know that's what makes a woman beautiful. Not what size clothes she wears, the number on the scale or even what her husband thinks of her. What makes a woman beautiful is being Fiercely Confident in herself.

Have you looked up the word fiercely lately? One definition is "showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity." Are you intensely confident in yourself? Do your kids know you think you are great in every way? What about your husband? Confidence can be sexier than your body, you know. What does your treadmill say? 

And finally, I know you want to know. Did I outrun the guy in the black hoodie? You guess?

As I'm mindfully singing,"You already know what it is. Now watch me whip, watch me nae nae," he pressed stop on his treadmill and I Kept. On. Going- Secretly smiling because I had beat my competition :).

I Saw God Today Through Another Human Being

Do you ever have a day where you know God is in your midst? It's rare for me and hard to see through all the busy parts of life. God seems to fade into the background instead of staying in the foreground. That's our fault, you know.

If we occupy our time with other things such as people, technology, so called busy-ness, God can be really hard to see.

But today, I saw God and it's in the picture above. My older two went to preschool, so my youngest and I did some errands. Finally making our way to my favorite restaurant, Panera. I was celebrating the easiness of taking one child out and taking pictures of her on our date. Little did I know that when I put down my camera, God would show up in the most unique way. 

I saw an elderly lady shaking. Her feet were shaking, her hands and head were shaking. She was frustrated because she couldn't eat her soup and threw down her spoon exasperated. My heart broke for her. I wondered if she was sitting alone? From my angle, I could only see half her table. But then, someone younger put out their arm and scooped up the soup for her...and then fed her. It was the greatest act of love I had seen in a long time. The person continued to help as needed but gave the elderly lady enough respect to try for herself too. 

I looked at Tiny feeding herself small bites of turkey and cheese. It was the complete circle of life right before my eyes. We start as babies and if we are lucky and blessed, our parents/grandparents will take care of us. And as we age and mature, we hope that our babies will do the same for us one day.

I thought to myself,"I wish I could help this lady. I wish there was something I could do."

Then I knew the answer,"There's nothing I can do.Accept pray for the elderly lady and give the younger person encouragement."

 I really struggled with it though. One of my spiritual gifts is NOT praying in public. It's just not in my personality to go up and pray for someone. But I felt like I needed to. Like God WANTED me to. I must obey Him. 

So after we finished eating, I threw away my plate, took a deep breath of courage and made my way over. 

There was a woman helping her. We made eye contact and I said,"I just want you to know that I saw you from my corner and you touched my heart. What tremendous respect and love you have. Are you the daughter?" Yes she was.

I looked at the elderly lady and said,"How can I pray for you?"

She had kind blue eyes. "Just pray," she said and reached out her hand to me.

I gladly took her shaking hand and holding back tears, I poured my heart out to Our Father for her. 

When I opened my eyes, everyone was looking. But I didn't care because when we are going through something tough, it is the support and encouragement of others that gives us strength. When there is nothing physical we can do, then fall back on the supernatural power of prayer. There was a connection as I held her hand and I know God heard every word.

Why am I sharing this with you? Not to say,"Look at me, look what I did!" But to say, "I saw a glimpse of goodness and love today in a world that denies the mighty power of God. We MUST BE the hands and feet of Christ. We are the light in this dark world. When we obey Him, we not only get a blessing but in turn bless others."

“And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ””

Acts of the Apostles 20:35

“I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.”

Isaiah 46:4 NLT

Find Your Wings

I pulled into the parking lot and said loudly, "It's time to go to school!" My excitement had elevated to shear joy. "Yay," I thought, "I only have one child today!" Today was the big day. I would send both Baby Girl and Baby Boy to preschool. Baby Girl scrambled to unbuckle her big kid booster seat and Baby Boy yelled, "Troll" through his pacifier sticking out the side of his mouth. He was upset that he couldn't finish the latest episode of Paw Patrol in the car. I unbuckled him and they both piled out. Quickly walking to the other side of the car, I opened the door and got Tiny out.

 

"Okay hold hands everyone." Baby Girl did her best to obey me but Baby Boy just wasn't having it. He did not want to hold anybody's hand.

 

"Alright, just let him be Baby Girl." I decided not to push it with him today. After all, this was his first day of preschool and I didn't want him walking inside--no wait a minute--dragging him inside because I forced him to hold my hand.

 

The school was packed! Grandparents, kids, parents, parents not wanting to leave their child for the first time. And then there was me, trying to snap pictures of everyone while holding a baby in my arms. I quickly got Baby Girl settled into her seat and she timidly said, "Hi" to her friends around the table.

 

Next it was Baby Boy's turn. I held his hand as we made our way down the hall. Slowly, we walked to the coat hooks outside the classroom. He wasn't moving at his normal speed of light pace. So I one- handedly helped him out of his backpack and hung it on the hook.

 

He started moving his way inside the classroom and then suddenly stopped. What could be wrong? Looking up at me with his beautiful slate blue eyes, he reached his tiny little hand up for me to hold. I was shocked. This whole time he hadn't wanted to hold my hand at all. But now, amidst the chaos and commotion, he needed me. My heart jumped into my throat and I quickly grabbed his hand and smiled. Hopefully, if I didn't look overwhelmed and stressed he would mirror me. That's when he allowed me to walk into the classroom with him. I can't tell you the joy I felt that he needed me. Here he was, my egg cracking, oat spilling, sneaky little wild man needing me-his mom.

 

As soon as we had made it into the classroom, he dropped my hand. Possibly his way of saying, everything would be alright. But I stood in the corner anyway, holding Tiny and watching him play with the other little boys. I tried to make eye contact with him-to make sure he was alright. But he never noticed me again. So I said, "I love you Kipton" and slipped out the door.

 

It was hard walking back to the car-with just one child in tow. I didn't cry this time, like I did when Baby Girl went to school for the first time. But I still felt that strange ache. That loss, part of me was missing. (Baby Girl's First Day)

 

The Lord must have known I was having a hard time dealing with letting him go. Because on my way back home, I thought of something I hadn't thought about in over two years...his birth. My Baby Boy's birth was so fast and surprising. I remember joyfully crying upon his arrival...almost like a happy laughter. I remember holding his long lean body in my arms and feeling an automatic connection with my boy. Even now, as a tiny two year old, he still has me joyfully laughing at the things he gets into. Who else can laugh at eggs cracked on the living room floor or entire canisters of oats spilled everywhere?

 

John 16:21 says, "Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world."

 

The Lord knew I needed reminding of how He'll take care of Baby Boy even when I'm not around. This is just the next step in Kipton's journey. I am here to hold his hand for a little while, quietly watch as he experiences life and then slowly slip away when I know he's found his wings. That is the joy of being a mother.

 

When I went to pick him up that afternoon he rushed to the door and said, "Mommy!" He lifted up his hand to me one final time. His teacher had given him a Curious George stamp for being a good boy. I oohed and awed over his special surprise and he walked out smiling from ear to ear.

Find Your Wings

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

 

 

The moment when he refused to hold her hand.

He was not having it at all.

The moment when we started to walk inside and then stopped!

Ice cream for a successful first day.

If you can't tell, he's soooo excited to finish Paw Patrol :)

Charleston, West Virginia Mini Trip

The Hubs had to go to Charleston, West Virginia for a meeting with work and I dreaded being alone for two days. I just don't like being apart from him. So he graciously took three preschoolers and his dear wife with him :) What a great dad, aye! It was such a fun mini-trip. Some of the highlights were exploring the Kanawha River, visiting the Charleston Town Center Mall Play Patch and swimming in the pool one evening at the hotel. Here's some pictures we took of our little adventure.

Breathtaking views of the mountains.

 

On our walk we found a little park right beside the hotel.

 

 

Exploring the Kanawha River.

 

 

Baby Girl couldn't believe she got to dance on the whole stage by herself.A little  singer/dancer in the making. Baby Boy was more interested in running, running and more running.

 

 

 

On our walk, all of the residents from Charleston wanted to talk to us on the dock. They were soooo friendly. It's rare to have anyone be so friendly with us in Richmond.

 

The big ship thing that came to my rescue the next day.

 

 

 

The Charleston Town Center Mall had a great play area called The Play Patch. Baby Girl was so excited to play in the Big Broccoli.

 

Tiny thought this was so much fun.

 

Cuteness overload.

 

 

 

 

Daddy was in his meeting, so the kids and I went on our own adventure. It happened to involve candy and Build a Bear.

 

 

 

Baby Boy went straight to the dinosaur :)

 

 

Baby Girl had to have My Little Pony's Twilight Sparkle.

 

 

 

 

He had to hold it the whole way back to the hotel.

 

 

 

Baby Girl fell and bloodied her knee so I smushed her into the diaper bag compartment of the stroller and pushed them the whole way back.

 

We got slightly lost on the way back. But saw some amazing buildings and finally the big ship thing which meant we had made it back to the hotel.

 

How do you keep a baby quiet while her brother sleeps in the hotel room? Lay some towels in the tub and let her play there!

 

Yes we all hung out in the bathroom for 2 hours. Ha!

 

For some reason, it was really cool to playon top  of the air conditioner in the hotel room ;)

 

I'm so glad I get to spend my life with him. I never imagined that 15 years ago, when I saw this cute boy in choir class that we would eventually marry, have three kids and serve God through the day to day joys and trials of our marriage. I'm so glad he's my partner in crime ;)