If we all live long enough we will each have experienced the loss of someone close to us. It’s holidays like Christmas when all the family gather that their presence will be missed most. This time of year is a joyful time, as it should be. But for some, Christmas comes with heartache.
For myself, Papow went to the hospital seven years ago. I remember having bought and wrapped him two fleece lined button up shirts that I just knew he would get to open on Christmas Day. But when Christmas Day came and went, prayers that he would get better turned into prayers that he would make it and the Christmas present was placed in the closet until he could wake up and open it.
That first Christmas was a hard one because a lot of things were missing. Papow would have had fresh oranges and walnuts for cracking. The bird feeders outside would have been full of food as he loved to watch the red birds. Coffee would have been hot and ready when we arrived. A small tree would have been decorated and set up and Papow would have been sitting at the kitchen table with a welcoming smile.
That first Christmas was a hard one because a lot of things were missing. Papow would have had fresh oranges and walnuts for cracking. The bird feeders outside would have been full of food as he loved to watch the red birds. Coffee would have been hot and ready when we arrived. A small tree would have been decorated and set up and Papow would have been sitting at the kitchen table with a welcoming smile.
Seven years have come and gone and although it has gotten easier, I still miss him very much. Last week we celebrated Christmas in Kentucky. It was a happy time full of family and excited children. On the last day, I asked Dale if we could stop by Papow’s grave. We drove up the tall mountain and parked the car. I helped my youngest out of her car seat and the other two children followed behind. There was his grave with his name etched in stone. Tears welled up but I didn’t fight them back. This time I cried for memories that would never be again, for a childhood that would never be experienced again, for my papow who never got to see the three beautiful kids that stood behind me wondering why their momma was crying so hard.
There is a scripture that helps me understand that God wants to heal these wounds. In fact, I read it this morning.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Psalms 34:18 NLT
At just the right moment, I had heard the bird. God rescued my crushed spirit and showed me that He was there. I do believe He used the bird to remind me of how much papow loved them too...to remind me how much I should love life. Even when it’s hard, even when things are missing. I can always choose to remember the good times and keep his memory alive by carrying on his traditions. So I buy the oranges and get out the nut bowl my mother-in-law gifted me in remembrance of him. I put out the bird feeders and take a seat. I light a candle, crack the first walnut and sit silently.
You may know someone who has lost a loved one. Be tender with them. This Christmas may be hard. Help them realize they can still go on living a joyful life. They can mourn that their loved one is no longer here but remind them that their loved one wouldn't want them to remain sad. Remind them to look at life as just a small detour until we can see them again. Let them know God is close to them and above all, pray for their spirits to be rescued.
Dedicated to my Papow Homer
A smile so bright, a friend gone for just a while, a loving grandfather for a lifetime.
June 3, 1932-February 11, 2010
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