Drop It Like It’s Hot

A new year a new you, right? Out with the old, in with the new. Drop it like it’s hot. Wait...what? Drop it like it’s hot? Yah you know, like dropping those pounds, dropping those friends, dropping that stress. Seems like a good idea when first thought of but I’d like to offer an alternative perspective.

Every time we say, “See ya, 2017! This year sucked,” essentially we are saying that the year God blessed us with wasn't good enough. Sure, each year can come with some pretty terrible moments but isn’t being able to breathe a blessing? Or have food on the table? Or a hot shower?  Sometimes we need to refocus our thoughts from the past and find the positive moments that did exist.

Or how ‘bout every time we say, “Gonna lose those pounds.” Sure getting healthier is great but sometimes we downgrade ourselves so much that we forget we are more than a number. We are more than a pants size. Instead we should refocus and say, “Because I am worthy, I’d like to lose a few pounds so I can be healthier.”

And lastly, the most dreaded phrase of all. “It’s time to drop that friend.”  Okay now wait, hold on a sec. Yes, some people are Negative Nelly, Sad Sammy or Toxic Tina but this phrase is going around A LOT lately! The honest truth is that most people in our lives aren’t this way. Maybe instead we should say,”BEFORE I drop ‘so and so’,  I’m gonna muster up enough courage to discuss with them my feelings. Sometimes we are so afraid of confrontation that we are willing to give up a friendship . Please don’t think I’m saying you can never get rid of people that are hurting you. You can! But evaluate your choices. Imagine what the future would look like without that person in your life. If the answer is that you may miss them, how about giving them a second or third chance. On the other hand, if your answer involves words like peaceful, stressless, tearless then yes, maybe it’s time to drop that friend.

Some of you know that I listen to audiobooks while I work around the house. Lately I’ve been listening to Anne of Avonlea by Lucy Maud Montgomery. Highly recommend it, by the way. There's one part in the book that I just love and needed to hear. Anne is speaking about regret with Mrs. Allan, a woman somewhat older than herself with just a hair more wisdom that Anne. When Anne opens up about regretting a past mistake, Mrs. Allan shares this tidbit of wisdom.

“We should regret our mistakes and learn from them 

but never carry them forward into the future with us.”

As we enter 2018, I beg of you to consider a new type of resolution. Resolve in your heart and mind to be kind to yourself and others. We are all imperfect creatures made perfect by the blood of Jesus. We don’t deserve all this love, grace and mercy He bestows upon us. But because He thinks we are worthy, we should give ourselves (and others) the same love, grace and mercy that He gives us.

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32

A Cheesecake Kind of Birthday

Today we celebrated Dale’s 34th Birthday!  We celebrated at our favorite restaurant, Ghengis

Grill. Then we picked up a cheesecake that he’d requested.  But not just any cheesecake—Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. 

I joked with him saying, “You know that saying as couples age they start looking like each other? Well we don’t look like each other but we have started liking the same things!” Meaning that eight days later on January 4th, we will be celebrating my birthday the exact same way. Ha!

As I looked back on all the pictures today I had to smile. His day was pretty much perfect. We had each other to celebrate with, the kids each woke up shouting, “Happy Birthday Daddy!” At the dinner table they all guessed how old he was. Tiny Blessing thought he was 2. Baby Boy thought he was 100. And of course the oldest, Baby Girl guessed right. 

Days like today, I’m glad we have each other. Living in Richmond, we are far from any extended family. Sometimes that can be hard, especially when you miss them, need a date night babysitter or just a one hour break. But God placed us in Richmond for a reason and we can’t stomp our feet on God’s plan.

As we near 2018, I want to focus more on the positive aspects of living here. I want to wake up saying, "Thank you God for my loving husband and three beautiful blessings. You are so good to me.”  I want to teach my kids that we have each other, a strong family unit. We will make it and one day when they’re adults, I hope that we will have instilled in them the value of family. 

Happy Birthday Dale! I love you more each day! Let’s grow old together.

A Place Worth Living In

A couple days before Christmas, I sat in a very long fast food line waiting to get three kids their favorite treat-chicken nuggets. To save money I hadn’t got the very much coveted happy meal. Sorry kids, no toy this time. It was too close to Christmas. I had also not ordered myself anything but looking at the picture menu as I sat waiting, I thought,”A latte would be nice. I’ll ask her if I can add it when I reach the window.”

At the window, I asked to add the latte but for some reason the computer had frozen up. I didn’t really mind but she was insistent on getting it to ring up. I was getting antsy as I hate making people wait for me. I nervously looked through my rear view mirror. The older man behind me was waving his hand around, talking to the air. I could only imagine the things he was saying about the momma in front with the mini-van FULL of kids.

At first, a wave of anger washed over me. I thought, “He really needs to step into my shoes before getting so angry over waiting a few extra minutes.”

Then I looked at his clothes. He had obviously been working hard, as his clothes appeared rugged and worn from a dusty job. The pickup truck he was driving looked to be one from the late 80’s. He reminded me of so many good men I have been blessed to know that work hard outside jobs. As if God was giving me a good talking to, I decided to let it go and give this man some much needed grace.

“Ma'am? I’ve got the second manager to fix the problem. It will be $4.85.”

“Aw thank you. Please use my card to pay for the man behind me as well.” She looked up from her register as if surprised and said she would. The manager behind her popped her head around the corner and said,”Looks like someone’s got the Christmas Spirit!”

Smiling at the ladies I said, “Be sure to tell him Merry Christmas from me.”

I grabbed the latte and nuggets as quick as I could and sped away. I don’t know what came over me but  I didn’t want to catch his reaction! Maybe it was because I was still embarrassed that I had held up the line for so long. Or maybe it was because I was so excited for having done something good, that I didn’t want to spoil the moment by hanging around to get a ‘thank you.' But for whatever reason it was, I definitely felt like I had done my job as a servant for Christ.

Friends, our number one job is to treat others with kindness-even when they don’t deserve it. If Jesus can love us with all our faults, why shouldn’t we be able to replicate that to others? Selfishness is one of our biggest problems today. We believe others should do for us without even thinking of how we should treat them. People are often self-centered;only thinking of how to please themselves. They often focus on how someone else isn't contributing to their emotional well-being; as if another person were responsible for their happiness! But what if we turned the tables and started to be selfless? What if we thought about how to bless others before we blessed ourselves? I'd venture to believe our world would be a totally different place...a place worth living in.

“But— When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone.”

‭‭Titus‬ ‭3:4-8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

My Christmas Dance Partner

I am so thankful for my Christmas Dance Partner. He is definitely my better half. He’s the one who balances me out. The one who's always willing to listen and understand and my very best friend.

On Christmas Eve after the kids went to bed, we danced to Ed Sheeran’s song, Perfect. My favorite line goes like this,”We we’re just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was.”  We are still in love today and I’m thankful he still chooses me. I’m thankful that over 17 years, I understand that love goes far beyond a music video, a first kiss, or a high school slow dance. Love today is being willing to love all parts of the other person...the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s a humble calling to give up everything that makes you a unique person and become one with the other. It’s fights and makeups, it’s serving and being served. It’s a way to show  others how much Christ loves them by offering grace and mercy.

I love you, Dale!

Christmas Walnuts and Bird Feeders

If we all live long enough we will each have experienced the loss of someone close to us. It’s holidays like Christmas when all the family gather that their presence will be missed most. This time of year is a joyful time, as it should be. But for some, Christmas comes with heartache. 

For myself, Papow went to the hospital seven years ago. I remember having bought and wrapped him two fleece lined button up shirts that I just knew he would get to open on Christmas Day.  But when Christmas Day came and went, prayers that he would get better turned into prayers that he would make it and the Christmas present was placed in the closet  until he could wake up and open it.

That first Christmas was a hard one because a lot of things were missing. Papow would have had fresh oranges and walnuts for cracking. The bird feeders outside would have been full of food as he loved to watch the red birds. Coffee would have been hot and ready when we arrived. A small tree would have been decorated and set up and Papow would have been sitting at the kitchen table with a welcoming smile.

Seven years have come and gone and although it has gotten easier, I still miss him very much. Last week we celebrated Christmas in Kentucky. It was a happy time full of family and excited children. On the last day, I asked Dale if we could stop by Papow’s grave. We drove up the tall mountain and parked the car. I helped my youngest out of her car seat and the other two children followed behind. There was his grave with his name etched in stone. Tears welled up but I didn’t fight them back. This time I cried for memories that would never be again, for a childhood that would never be experienced again, for my papow who never got to see the three beautiful kids that stood behind me wondering why their momma was crying so hard. 

The oldest came over to hug me and ask why I was crying. Dale started to speak for me and that’s when I heard the bird in the bushes. My mind tuned out the world and I began to remember standing in that very spot seven year ago and hearing the bird in the bushes. I turned quickly to look for it but again, I never saw it. Seven years ago, I took that as a sign God was present and near and that very day I chose to believe the same thing.

There is a scripture that helps me understand that God wants to heal these wounds. In fact, I read it this morning. 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

At just the right moment, I had heard the bird. God rescued my crushed spirit and showed me that He was there. I do believe He  used the bird to remind me of how much papow loved them too...to remind me how much I should love life. Even when it’s hard, even when things are missing. I can always choose to remember the good times and keep his memory alive by carrying on his traditions. So I buy the oranges and get out the nut bowl my mother-in-law gifted me in remembrance of him. I put out the bird feeders and take a seat. I light a candle, crack the first walnut and sit silently. 

You may know someone who has lost a loved one. Be tender with them. This Christmas may be hard. Help them realize they can still go on living a joyful life. They can mourn that their loved one is no longer here but remind them that their loved one wouldn't want them to remain sad. Remind them to look at life as just a small detour until we can see them again. Let them know God is close to them and above all, pray for their spirits to be rescued.

Dedicated to my Papow Homer

A smile so bright, a friend gone for just a while, a loving grandfather for a lifetime.

June 3, 1932-February 11, 2010

Satisfied, Full and Content

Such beautiful scripture that can breathe new life into you. I am thankful God allowed me to recall this verse and to read Philippians 4 in its’ entirety. Further on in the chapter Paul says, “For I have learned to be content with whatever I have...”Being content doesn’t mean living comfortably, relaxing in piles of money or going through your day pretending everything is flowers and daisies. Being content means taking each day for what it is and pushing through with a satisfied heart. I am satisfied that my Jesus loves me, for me. I am full knowing the Father looks upon me with fondness. I am content in knowing that the Holy Spirit whispers scripture to me when I need them most. 

Father God, thank you for taking the time to point out these verses to me tonight. Help my thoughts to be true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and worthy of praise. Amen