So Long Carbs...Hello Confidence!

Do you know what is MOST disturbing when trying to run? The smell of bacon frying outside someone’s house! It’s not that I want to eat it—it’s just the fact that hot humid days mixed with fried bacon and running is a nasty combo that makes me want to hurl…

Yes, I’m still at it! But I’ve ventured off into my own running plan. The website plan wanted me to stop/ start five times. I lacked that little bit of motivation towards the end of my run.  So I decided instead of stop/start five times, I’d run 4 minutes/walk 4 minutes (repeat three more times). After running two cycles, I think, “Okay I only have to do this two more times.” And then when I get to the third time I’m thinking, “Okay, you’re at the finish line-you can do this ONCE more. And finally, when I’ve completed my final run I’m thinking, “Oh thank God it’s OVER! I don’t know how I could have done THAT one more time!”

What most women would like to eat everyday all the time!

I’m pleased beyond words with how I feel. I now, can’t remember the last time I woke up in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m out.  And my whole outlook on life is changing. My mentality has changed to “calm and relaxed” instead of stressing over "every little tiny thing". It’s amazing how all your hormones seem to balance out when you exercise.

I can’t say enough about supportive friendships. A friend of mine is going to help me figure out why I’m losing inches but not pounds. She’s a personal trainer and has recommended I start myfitnesspal.com. I can already tell you what my problem is… What female doesn’t love some good ole’ CARBS?! I could live on cereal, macaroni & cheese, and brownies with no complaints at all. But we all know that's NOT the way to go!

Haha, had to post this because this is EXACTLY how I feel!

And I have another friend who suggested we should run together. She’s a very advanced runner. When I start to think about us running together my mind gets dizzy… I picture myself running 30 feet behind her with sweat drenching down my back and wheezing loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear : ) She’s also put the possible idea of a 5K in my head. I say possible, because at this point running a 5K freaks me out. The support has really motivated me and running has been so beneficial. However, it’s clear I lack confidence in my ability. And I definitely want Baby Girl to see her momma as a confident woman. So the best way to teach her is to model good behavior…it’s time for me to begin accepting everything about me as good and work on my weaknesses with my head held high.

Progress Update: 

• Running 4 minutes/walk 4 minutes (repeat 3 more times) totally 16 minutes running now!
• Lost 7 inches total!
• No weight change…
• Feeling Stress Free!
• Sleeping Through the Night!
• No Headaches!
• No Shoulder Tension!
• New Goal… Work on Confidence.

P.S.

This verse just popped into my head right before I hit "Publish" blog and I had to include it.

Hebrews 12:1-2a

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith...

Isn't that wonderful! As you run your race in life, strip off all the baggage that's slowing you down. Get rid of all that negative stuff that's tripping you up. God wants you to run this race just as you are...he is pefecting your faith in Him. Run it to the finish line always telling yourself, "I can do this ONCE more!"

Flour Shower & Riding Horsey

When I was a little girl one of my most favorite memories was spending time with the grandparents. Whether it was pretending to be a Pizza Chef at one mamow's house or the cousins "Pixie Chicks" sleepovers at the other mamow's house, life was fun!

Being a kid is one of the greatest parts of life. So I'm trying to make Baby Girl's summer super fun. Now that she's a toddler, it's been hard to keep her inside and entertained during this heat wave. But with the wonders of the internet, I found a great website that gives hands on ideas for toddlers. (Toddler Activity Website). Here's a peak at how the summer has been going so far...



Good Morning Peanut Butter Princess!
Eating Peanut Butter and Graham Crackers like her Great Grandfather does every mornin' !





Riding Horsey with Papow



This is what happens when you give your child pudding and a spoon!

Playing with Flour!

Throwing Flour!

After the Flour Shower!
Momma showed her what happens when you add water.



Bathtime in the Sink!
Baby Girl was covered in so much flour, I had to bath her in the kitchen!



 

Sweet Dreams Baby Girl!



How Do I Love The Unlovable?

Dear God,

Sometimes, I don’t want to be called a Christian or a Sunday Church Goer. Sometimes, I’m more embarrassed with the title then I’m proud of it. Gosh, YOU must be shaking your head at me now. But let me explain…it makes perfect sense (at least, to me it does). So many times I’m hurt by those “church people.” They can be the meanest and downright ugliest. But God, I know you say that I’m supposed to forgive them-or how else can you forgive me? (Matthew 6:14) God I know I’m no better but how am I supposed to forgive? I’m a human…sometimes I’d rather be angry than to forgive. And how do I forgive those who don’t even realize the’ve hurt me? They are the most unlovable. How do I love THE UNLOVABLE?

Questioning,

Kim

This is a conversation I’ve had with myself for many years but most recently, it’s the one God has been working on in me with intense pressure. Dale and I had a church friend hurt us badly. We were shocked and disappointed. We lost our trust in them.

So many times as Christians we don’t listen to God’s words. He says in Matthew 18:15, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” I know for myself it’s  much EASIER to fume on the inside then it is to confront the person…but then again it isn’t really easier. Hating your enemy is like you drinking poison and expecting it to kill your enemy. That just doesn’t happen! A lot of UNNECESSARY problems could be solved by confrontation. But it’s so hard.

Now, I’m going to tell you how I’ve sinned in the past. I go to the phone instead of the throne. Instead of talking to God and then confronting my friend, I pick up the phone and call someone else to vent to- usually, my sister.

“Can you believe she did that to ME" I say in my most 14 year old drama lovin voice.  And lalalalala the conversation goes on and on. I spit negative words to my sister, instead of trying to think of a positive way to solve the problem.

James 4:11 says this, “Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you.”

I LOVE THAT. Why can’t I do that? There’s no excuse. It would be better for me to forgive people on a continual basis. And it’s not right for me to criticize them. I’m doing nothing good to solve the problem (that's the most double negative/bad grammar sentence I've ever written : ).

Go back to Matthew 18 and skip a few verses down. Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! Matthew 18:21-22

Friends, it is a tough battle to forgive others-especially Christians. But God asks us to forgive continually. He knows that in this life people are going to hurt you (multiple times) and the road to forgiveness is ROCKY. When you get over one hurt there will be another waiting for you. But if we can practice this thing called “mercy” we will be whole, happy and free.

I’m so glad I wrote this blog...for myself. This study of forgiveness has been GOOD for my SOUL.

Wishing You Mercy and Peace In Your Own Battles Towards Forgiveness,

Kim

Running "Feel Good" Changes and a Little Park Time

So I’ve been meaning to update everyone on the running program but with this terrible heat wave it has been near impossible to run.  However, I stuck through it for another two weeks and have noticed some pretty major changes.

Woohoo! My knees are getting stronger. Thank God because it was pretty painful to start out with. My brother (a physically fit army guy) told me that I shouldn’t run on concrete if I don’t want my knees to hurt. But I don’t have any other option when I push a stroller and live in an area with a  sea of concrete. So I’m stretching and only running three days a week now. Hopefully, I will be able to add another day soon.

Secondly, I do sleep through the night when I run now. I’m just so wore out from out from doing all that activity… and of course chasing around a one year old all day long exhausts me too : )

Other little changes that I notice are that I seem to feel calmer and more relaxed. My clothes are starting to feel looser too. Last week I measured myself and had lost three inches...but again, the major “feel good” changes are what I’m putting more emphasis on.

 The best news of all is that I can run three minutes without stopping! I do this four times…making that a grand total of 12 minutes running! I am very pleased with my progress. I never thought that after having a kid I could do that again. I feel so much stronger and more confident in myself.  So isn’t that a much healthier goal than worrying about my image? I’m taking charge and feeling great doing it.



My mother and I posing with Baby Girl after the run.



Taking a break to play at a park.









Baby Girl was so excited to play at the park midway through the run!





Papow pushing Sleeping Baby Girl in the stroller.















Road Blocks

Hmmmm…road blocks. We seem to face so many of them in this life.  Road Blocks on the highway, road blocks in our relationships, road blocks with our finances, and even road blocks in our relationship with God. They can be so very frustrating because we ultimately lose control when faced with a road block…

Me and Miss Independent!

One week ago, The Hubs, Baby Girl and I started out on a weekend trip to Tennessee. We were going to celebrate my mamow’s birthday. I was so excited to see ALL of my family: cousins, aunts, uncles, mamow, papow, parents and siblings. Oh my family is so special to me! We all grew up in Kentucky together and then for many different reasons, we all moved in the 90’s; some of us to Virginia, some to Tennessee and some stayed in Kentucky. So you can imagine how excited I was that everyone was traveling to Tennessee to spend some quality time together.

(This is where it gets kinda gross)

That morning, I went to wake up Baby Girl and found that she had vomited in her crib.  We cleaned her up and fed her breakfast…with the intention of leaving at 10 AM. At 9:45 AM, Baby Girl was moaning and walked over to my legs and held on. I picked her up and rubbed her back…she laid her head on my shoulder and…VOMITED AGAIN. You can imagine my horror, as this has been the first time in my life that someone threw up on me. But I remained calm and we cleaned her up again.

Bucket Head!

I’ll spare you more gruesome details but we started driving and Baby Girl threw up four more times! The car seat was a complete disaster. Reluctantly, we decided that she couldn’t handle the trip and turned around to come home. At home, we bathed her and surprisingly she ate a whole pb&j sandwich! Two hours later and we were PUKE FREE. Sooooo, we decided to try again….you can imagine what happened next. Yes two more times! Thank God for wipes and multiple changes of clothes. I felt so bad for her.

Half way into our trip, we hit a 10 mile backup because of an accident. We take a 30 minute detour around the accident (another road block averted). We finally make it to Tennessee (30 minutes from our destination). I’m driving and notice  that the car needs gas. So we pull over and The Hubs volunteers to pump the gas. For whatever reason,  this is what happens next.

I take the keys out of the ignition and lay them in the cup holder. I jump out of the driver’s seat to check on Baby Girl and hit the UNLOCK button. I close the driver side door. I try to open the back door and discover that YES, I LOCKED THE CAR INSTEAD! And yes again, BABY GIRL IS INSIDE. At this moment, I completely panic.

Drinking Milk and Coloring at Cracker Barrel

“Oh no! What do I do?” I say to THE HUBS, “I locked Baby Girl in the car…do you have a spare set of keys?”

Of course he looks at me like I’m crazy and then you can see frustration cross his eyes. But, (points for The Hubs here) he doesn’t get angry at me and tells me to go inside and tell the Cashier.

Oh I wanted to hit myself in the head so many times for this. It reminds me of that V8 commercial where somebody gets hit in the head and says, “Should've had a V8.” But instead I hit myself in the head and say, “Should've had a brain.”

Long story short, the locksmith comes, the police come, and yes the ambulance comes! We finally make it to Tennessee at 11 PM. Man, can you count the road blocks there?! This 6 hour trip took 13 hours!

For some reason, God didn’t want us to get to Tennessee that quick. Maybe it was because of that accident we had to detour around. For whatever reason, God had a different plan than ours. And you know what, it might have taken us 13 hours to get there but we had such a good time when we finally made it. Baby Girl and her cousin played together just like all of us cousins did when we were little.

Babies Playing Corn Hole!

It’s funny how God works sometimes. I guess I just need to face the music and realize that yes, there will be road blocks in life but when you reach your destination it will be oh so much sweeter. Think about your own life. What are your road blocks? Why do you think God hasn’t given you exactly what you want? Why has it taken so long? I believe it’s because He wants you to appreciate it so much more, when you finally arrive. He wants us to realize how blessed we really are and how good He really is to us. I’ve been thinking of another Bible Verse lately which says…

I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My Help comes from the Lord-The Maker of Heaven and Earth.  Psalm 121:1-2

Listen to this beautiful song which speaks of Psalm 121. Praise You in this Storm

When to Take a Leap of Faith-My Story Part 1

The whole reason my blog was created was to give people inspiration during hard times. This is MY STORY which taught me to appreciate this beautiful life we've been given.      

Grace and Peace Sent Your Way ~Kim

My husband and I...before Baby Girl was born.

In 2008, I was teaching at a Christian High School and began to notice that every time I talked my tongue would hurt (like I had burned it). It never seemed to go away. That summer we moved back to Roanoke so I could go to graduate school and become a School Counselor.

I scheduled a routine dental cleaning and mentioned that I had noticed a white spot on the right side of my tongue that had been there for months. He rattled off some medical term of what it probably was and performed a brush biopsy of my tongue. One week later he called and said that it wasn’t what he thought it was and stated that the cells had come back “Atypical” (something wasn’t right). I didn’t think anything was wrong but he referred me to an Oral Surgeon.

During my next meeting with the Oral Surgeon he said that he highly doubted anything serious was wrong. But he wanted to take out a small portion of my tongue to biopsy. Reluctantly, we scheduled the outpatient procedure and a few days later, the diagnosis came back Moderate Dysplasia (the cells are growing too fast). However, that was all he could tell me and referred me to an Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor.

After looking at my tongue, the ENT doctor, said the only way he could know for sure was to remove a football shaped portion of my tongue and send it to be biopsied. At this point, I am frustrated with the lengthy process this has been. No one seems to know what’s wrong with me and they want to cut out more of my tongue! This was interfering with my counseling training. This was interfering with my life. Grudgingly, I scheduled the surgery for two weeks later... still not believing anything was wrong.

I was put under anesthesia for the surgery. An hour later, I woke up with the worst headache of my life and noticed a male nurse filling out paperwork on the computer. I asked him what they had found out and he went to find the doctor to explain. The doctor rushed in and stated that he had to take out more than he thought. The spot had spread to the back of my tongue. The lab had determined that it was CANCER. I felt like the floor had dropped out from underneath me. I couldn’t possibly be hearing this! I was crying. The nurse handed me a tissue and said, “Go ahead and cry.” The doctor said that they had also checked my throat but nothing was found. They would do chemo and possibly radiation. The first question I asked was, “Am I going to lose my hair?” I don’t even remember what his answer was. And then he left to find my family.

In the days to come people sent flowers, emailed their prayers, called to say they had put me on their prayer list, and some tried to offer up words of encouragement. The support I received was so helpful. But a few people tried to say the right thing and ended up hurting me even more. Some would say, “Remember, God won’t give you more than you can handle” or “Everything happens for a reason” or still yet, “This is all a part of God’s plan.”

I think one of the most important messages I would like for you to take from this is that when someone is faced with a diagnosis of cancer, it isn’t always appropriate to bring up God. I was angry with God and questioning why He would let such a terrible thing happen to me! I had done everything for Him. So I would just smile and nod calmly, wondering in my heart if it was okay to be angry with God as I was.

It wasn’t until a few days later did my calm demeanor suddenly change while riding in the car with my mom. It’s funny how moms just seem to be a resting place for you when you’re broken. “I’m just so angry with Him, Mom. Why would He allow this to happen to me?” My mom took my hand and said with her mouth quivering, “It’s okay to be angry, Kim. Just know that He has chosen you for this because He knew you were strong. You will get through this. We will get through this.” It was her comforting words that day that helped me begin to pick up my boot straps and stay strong. She gave me the freedom to be angry. She had said, “We will get through this.” I felt unbelievable strength and support after hearing this. I was not alone.

Four days later, I decided that I needed, “Normal.” No more thinking about cancer or the threat of leaving my husband alone if I died. So I made the one hour drive back to my college classes. A lot of things can go through your mind when you’re all alone. Sometimes, being alone is the hardest part of all. It was during that trip that I turned off the radio and finally talked to God. “I’m so angry at you God. Why Me?! I don’t smoke cigarettes and I’m not an alcoholic. Why would YOU do this to me?” I cried and I cried, tears so heavy I could barely see to drive. And then I was reminded of a verse my grandmother (someone afflicted with tumors twice in her life) always quotes. Romans 2:11 “For there is no respect of persons with God.” It made sense to me now. God doesn’t pick who He allows bad things to happen to. This could have happened to anyone.  I turned on the radio and the Tenth Avenue North song  By Your Side began playing.

Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? Let me lift up your face. Just don’t turn away. To where will you go child? To where will you run? Cause I’ll be by your side, wherever you fall, in the dead of night, whenever you call. Please don’t fight these hands that are holding you. My Hands are holding you.

I felt Jesus beside me that day (right there in the passenger seat) and an unbelievable peace which transcends all understanding filled my heart (Philippians 4:7).  That evening as I filled my car up with gas to return home, my phone beeped. It was a voicemail from my doctor, saying that my biopsy slides were sent to UVA for a second opinion and it was determined that I was misdiagnosed! There was NO CANCER!

People say, “Aren’t you mad at the doctors? I’d sue them!” No, I’m not mad. I’m at peace. I’d rather them be safe than sorry. I just heard the worst news of my life… and four days later the very best news.




This is a picture of my husband, brother, and a few friends right before THE JUMP! My husband hated that the only jumpsuit big enough for him was pink. Haha!

During those long four days my brother asked me to go Skydiving (something  I always was against). But I said yes and four months later I kept my promise to him and jumped out of a plane. It was the most freeing feeling for someone who used to LOVE control and then to be able to give it ALL up...and then to release the parachute and hear only a quiet birds get to hear was absolutely amazing. It was that Philippians Peace I talked about earlier.

I was incredibly blessed by God. I know that my story would never compare to someone who was actually afflicted with cancer but I learned so much through this.

1)    SUPPORT

a. When people are going through something tough-be supportive and go through the fire with them.

2)    PROVISION

a. No matter how tough the situation, God always has your back.  He always provides. If He brought you to it, He will bring you through it. 

3)    ENJOY

a. Enjoy this life because you only get one chance to live on Earth. Challenge yourself to do things you wouldn’t do. YOU are stronger than you know.

ENJOY this life to the fullest!